In order to escape his Apache captors and to line his own pockets, Luther Cannonbaugh convinces the new chief that he possesses a magic necklace made of "sacred bear teeth" which he's willing to trade for his freedom no matter how many others must die.
Captain Paul Score
Discontinuity: When Score mentions moving into the Commandant's quarters, Bassington refers to him as Major Score, as if he's been promoted, but in the very next line he calls him Captain Score again.
Bart: If I had a dollar for every life this necklace cost, Lieutenant, I'd never have to deal another card as long as I live.
Bart: (voiceover) At the time, I had no idea I was wanted for murder, and even if I had, I was hardly in a position to do anything about it. I was fifty miles away, tied to a stake in an Apache teepee with a man who could give a rattlesnake lessons in treachery. Loveable Luther Cannonbaugh - the seedy, money-grubbing peddler who started all my troubles back at the fort by selling me a wagon that contained a load of illegal whiskey, the bear tooth necklace, and Tawny, an Indian girl he'd kidnapped to sell into slavery.
Cannonbaugh: Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maverick, unless you get me out of this, they'll be nobody to clear you at Fort Distress.
Bart: What do ya expect me to do, Cannonbaugh?
Cannonbaugh: Well, tell 'em … tell 'em what a nice feller I am, why don't ya?
Bart: Bob Tallhorse wants war, doesn't he? Otherwise you'd speak my words to the Chief.
Tallhorse: Hold your tongue! Or I will tell him you've insulted the Apaches.
Bart: But …
Bob Tallhorse: Then you will join the other white-eyes at the stake.
Bob Tallhorse: If your medicine was so strong, you could cure the Chief.
Cannonbaugh: Sure I could. Would you really want him cured? Huh? Nah, if he dies, the Council will pick a new chief. Maybe you.
Bob Tallhorse: It's the custom to choose an elder. I'm too young.
Cannonbaugh: Not if your medicine's strong enough, you ain't. I can give you the strongest medicine there is, Bob Tallhorse. Why, with my medicine, they'd make you chief if you was a todderlin' child.
Cannonbaugh: Hey, you savvy our language pretty good, doncha?
Bob Tallhorse: Mmm.
Cannonbaugh: Can you read? (Tallhorse shakes his head "No") But you would know a cartridge box when you saw one, wouldn't ya?
Bob Tallhorse: Bob Tallhorse is not stupid!
Cannonbaugh: Oh, no, no, who said he was?
Bart: Cannonbaugh, you better warn him that that necklace is not gonna be any protection against cavalry bullets.
Cannonbaugh: Sure, it'll protect him.
Bart: If he believes that, he's apt to start an all-out war. Stop lyin' to him, Cannonbaugh!
Cannonbaugh: Luther Cannonbaugh don't lie. Ask anybody.
Cannonbaugh: It worked out just 'bout the way I said it would, didn't it? Now, if you'll just gimmie back my $2,048.33, I'll just hop on my wagon … mosey along.
Bob Tallhorse: Bob Tallhorse did not say you are free to leave yet.
Cannonbaugh: How long am I supposed to stay?
Bob Tallhorse: Until I learn if you have spoken truth, if the necklace will protect me from the long guns of the white-eye soldiers.
Cannonbaugh: Oh now, lookie here. That ain't fair keepin' me prisoner here any longer, now …
Bob Tallhorse (knocks Cannonbaugh to the ground): Bob Tallhorse is chief now. He says what is fair and what is not.
Score: Well, they're gone, General. So, if it's alright with you, I'll start moving in.
Bassington: Moving in, Captain? Moving in where?
Score: Into the Commandant's quarters.
Bassington: Have I ever hinted, Major, that you would be the next Commandant?
Score: Well, no sir, but I thought … Well, being I'm next-in-line, so-to-speak …
Bassington: Captain, a good officer never jumps to conclusions.
Bart: That sounds like the war party coming back.
Cannonbaugh: Hope they had luck.
Bart: Cannonbaugh, doesn't it make any difference to you that they're attacking U.S. Cavalry?
Cannonbaugh: Well, I got nothin' against soldiers. It's just I like me a little bit better'n I like them. If that bear teeth medicine turns out to be bad medicine, ol' Luther Cannonbaugh may get his feet burned in the mornin'.
Score: I see. I didn't learn my manners at West Point, so I'm ruled out as far as you're concerned?
Bassington: The trouble with you is you can't seem to get it thru your head that being a good officer it isn't a matter of knowing what fork to use, it's earning the respect of your men.
Score: Which man said he didn't respect me? I dare him to tell me to my face.
Bassington: You don't see the slightest difference between earning respect and demanding it, do you?
(Bart discovers that Tawny has been hurt)
Bart: Bob Tallhorse do that to you? (she signs what happened) I sure messed up your life for ya, haven't I? All right. You, me.
Bart (voiceover): When it comes to tracking, I'll take an Apache over a bloodhound any day.
Bart (voiceover): And so for some money and a wagonload of cheap merchandise, Luther Cannonbaugh promised to sell out every man, woman and child in the entire southwest.
Score: I see, so poor old General Bassington's dead?
Cannonbaugh: Oh, they don't come no deader.
Score: What's that?
Cannonbaugh: Map I found in General Bassington's hand - clutched like that in his poor, dead fist. You know, the funny thing about this map is that it - it shows Solito Canyon as havin' an opening … out in the back there. Now, you know as well as I do - there ain't no back way out of Solito Canyon. (Score grabs the map and crumples it up) Go ahead, tear it up if you like. The General had a parcel of other maps in his pocket. All of them bunko, all of them signed by you.
Score: Where are they now?
Cannonbaugh: They're where they'll cause you nothin' but trouble anything happen to old Luther. He like to keep a coupla aces in the hole, old Luther does.
Bart (voiceover): I can remember falling off my mount and hitting the ground hard, and that's all I remember - until I woke up next morning in the post infirmary. The doctor had cleaned and bandaged my wound. Captain Score wanted me healthy - for the firing squad.
(Bart grabs Cannonbaugh and takes his knife)
Soldier: What's goin' on?
Bart: This. (Bart holds out the knife) Another minute you woulda been wearin' it in your back and he'd open those gates for his friends out there.
(after Score asks out of his cell to fight the Indians)
Cannonbaugh: You're pickin' the wrong team, Score.
Score: So poor old General Bassington's dead?
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