Felice De Lassignac
Roxane Berard's character is mistakenly billed as Veronique de Lassignac in the ending credits.
Bret: 21? That's a lady's game.
Captain (scoffs): It's this lady's game, all right, 'cause she's bankrupting the fella she's playin' with.
Bret: Lucky, huh?
Captain: Or smart. But even if she's cheatin', it might almost be a pleasure losin' to her. She's that pretty, even though she is tattooed.
Saffron: Little strapped, sir?
Bret: I ran into a pretty girl yesterday who took me to the cleaners and didn't even leave me a laundry mark.
Saffron (chuckles): The ladies, bless 'em. They do figure out ways to worm their selves into a man's bankroll, don't they?
Bessie: I'm every bit as lonesome as you are.
Bret: But you've got Willie.
Bessie: I ain't got Willie, Mr. Maverick. I got a promissory note called Willie Saffron, which he keeps forgettin' to sign. How long do you think people should be engaged before they get married?
Bret: Well, I think that depends …
Bessie: Well, I been dependin' on Willie for the last seven years without anything happenin'. I mean, every time I ask him "Please, Willie, let's set a positive date", he keeps hemmin' and hawin', hemmin' and hawin' - I mean, he's the best hemmer and hawer I ever saw! Instead of sayin', "Okay, maybe Tuesday, like Wednesday, Thurs …", he keeps puttin' me off and gives me a hunk of jewelry.
Schmidt: That is all your losin's from yesterday
Bret: Oh, I couldn't take back money I lost in a fair game, Felice. It's supposed to be bad luck.
Schmidt: Well, you're not getting' it for nothin'. Uh, Thor and I have a little somethin' we want you to do for us - and there's another $5,000 waitin' for you when you get it done. Interested?
Bret: So long as it doesn't mean robbing a bank.
Schmidt: Oh, no, just a grave. And you don't actually have to rob it. I mean, you just have to get permission to remove the contents.
Felice: When I was a schoolgirl, I was quite smitten with you, Bret Maverick. Uh, papa let you play in a poker game one night.
Bret: Oh, I remember, that was my initiation.
Felice: Uh-huh. You won - and in your hurry to collect you dropped a single chip. I found it and I used to keep it under my pillow in the hopes of dreaming that you'd kiss me.
Bret: I never knew that.
Felice: Oh, well, I'm quite over you now. But, uh, I do think you owe me a dream.
Felice (excited): Oh, oh, we got rid of him rather neatly, didn't we, Bret?
Bret: I wonder. Uh, Felice, your, uh, history is a little shaky. King Arthur died 500 years before the Crusades even started.
Felice: Oh …
Bret: Let's just hope the Baron read the same history book you did.
Baron: Ah, Herr Maverick, we were just talking about you.
Bret: Saying complimentary things, I hope.
Baron: Is there something else one could say about you?
Bret: Not if you're honest about it.
Schmidt: Uh, Thor, honey, don't you think it'd be nice if I came with you?
Baron: You mean you don't trust me, liebchen?
Schmidt: Well, I mean, I trust you just as much as you trust me. In other words, not a bit.
Chief: You told me that Joe November was dead.
Bret: Well, I thought he was.
Chief: Well, there's somethin' mighty strange goin' on here. You violated Statue 964, Code 38, Section 85 - and you're under arrest.
Saffron: For what?
Chief: For committin' the gravest crime on the calendar.
Bret: Uh, operatin' a pushcart?
Chief: No, for impersonatin' a corpse.
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