Bret is coerced into becoming sheriff of the wild and wooly town of Duck 'n' Shoot where his unorthodox methods of enforcing the law meet with great success. Unfortunately, a conniving young woman gets Bret locked up in his own jail and he's forced to summon brother Bart in order to make things turn out okay.moreless
Melissa "Missy" Maybrook
In the credits, the name of the director, George Waggner, was written as george waGGner.
Pappyism: The worst crime a man can commit is to interrupt a poker game.
Pappyism: If you know a man's weakness, you know the way to his heart.
Pappyism: Try everything once; and if you don't succeed then become a lawman.
Pappyism: The next best thing to money is a man's name on the dotted line.
Pappyism: Sign nothing.
Judge Hardy: Mr. Maverick, we'd like to make you a proposition.
Bret: Always ready for a proposition - as long as there's money in it.
Judge Hardy: There's money in it, but there are other important things in life.
Bret: There are?
Bret: Judge, you and your friends are forgetting one little item.
Judge Hardy: What's that, Sheriff?
Bret: I have never had any experience in this sort of thing whatsoever. And, and what happened out there? That was an accident.
Judge Hardy: What do you mean?
Bret: The horse did it, I didn't hit him. Besides I'm-I'm unreliable. I'm a terrible shot. And this I mean most sincerely, I have been for as long as I can remember - a coward.
Judge Hardy: Do any of you doubt my selection now?
(all except Bret signify agreement with the Judge)
Andrews: I read somewhere once that a truly great man is never satisfied with himself.
Deputy Billy: Well, guess we'll make the rounds first.
Bret: Rounds, in this town?
Deputy Billy: Well, how do you expect to bring law and order?
Bret: Well, Billy, the way I look at it, you don't go lookin' for trouble. If you do go lookin' for trouble, you might find it - and there's always a killin or two, right? And if there's a killin' or two, there's no law and order, right?
Deputy Billy: But… you know, you may have a point there, Sheriff. You want me to fill you in on the, on the bad characters?
Bret: Well, naturally, then I'll know where not to go. You understand?
(Bret looks skyward after cheating Bimbo at cards)
Bret: Forgive me, Mr. Hoyle.
(telegraph operator reads Bret his just composed telegram)
Telegrapher: "To Bart Maverick, Plaza Hotel, Denver, Colorado. Help. Signed Sheriff 'No-Kidding' Maverick." There's just one word in this message. It's gonna cost you the same as it would for ten.
Bret: Then put in nine more helps.
(Bart visits Bret in jail)
Bart: Well, what do you want me to do?
Bret: Well, get the girl and the money and then get me out.
Bart: Brother Bret, there's a little matter of $5,000 that you've been owing me for several moths now. Uh, this is as good a time as any to straighten it out, wouldn't you say?
Bret: I don't have the money.
Bart: Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. That is a shame.
Bret: Well now, wait a minute, wait a minute. I do have the money, well, that is, I sorta have the money.
Bart: I guess it's a little confusing trying to, uh, think in there.
Bret: There's the $5,000 that Judge Hardy's holding for me. That's how I got in this mess in the first place.
Bart: You're very weak, letting money guide you into such undesirable ports.
Bret: You can have the money after I get it.
Bart: I'd, um, I'd prefer to have you, uh, write that down.
(after Bart makes Bret sign a "promissory" note)
Bart: You'll never live this down.
Deputy Billy: (referring to Bret) Did ya get the money that bank robber owed ya, Mr. Dixon?
Bart: I'm afraid not, but I haven't given up hope yet.
Deputy Billy: I always thought big-time poker players played for cash only?
Bart: (chuckling) Times are tough, we've been forced to extend credit, bad policy! I'll probably be calling on him again.
Deputy Billy: Anytime, till we hang him.
(Bart masquerades to set a trap)
Missy: I don't know what brings you to this funny little town?
Missy: Is it a secret?
Bart: No, I'm a professional gambler.
Missy: I never would've thought that, John.
Bart: Not many people do. Professional gambler has a bad sound. It shouldn't, though, not if you approach it strictly as business the way I do.
Bret: Well, now that I've been cleared, Judge, uh, I'm sure I'm free to go?
Judge Hardy: On the contrary, you've discovered how the bank's been robbed all these years, Danton and Leslie have left for greener pastures and Miss Maybrook is where she belongs and … I still have your $5,000.
Bret: Well, Judge, I'm gonna be leaving, with or without your consent. You see, Judge, that money doesn't belong to me anymore. It's been used to pay off a debt to my brother Bart. And since you've seen how he handles lawbreakers …
Bart: Now just a second!
Bret: (chuckling) Besides, he has the same attitude toward money that I do. See ya, Bart.
Bart: Bret, come back here.
Judge Hardy: (pinning badge on Bart) Six months, we'll have law and order and you'll have your $5,000 … Sheriff!
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