Bart: Uh, why now, Joe Wheelwright promised me a very generous bonus if I did a good job with my chaperoning . Now, you're welcome to, uh, lets say a quarter of whatever he gives me.
Emma: A quarter of it apiece.
Bart: Well, now, I was thinking about a quarter for you girls and three quarters …
Emma: An even four-way split.
Bart: Yeah, well, uh … all right, you got a deal. Now, may I have my gun back, please?
Lou Ann: Don't do it, Duchess. The smoothinest, talkinest ones are always the sneakiest.
Cissie: Go ahead, Duchess. Anyone can see that Mr. Maverick is honest.
Lou Ann: You'd trust anything that wore spurs. You put a 10 gallon hat on a baboon, you'd swing through the trees with it.
Cissie: Is that so? I wonder what you're gonna look like with no hair on your head.
Lou Ann: Just about as good as you when I gnaw off both your earlobes.