Cowardly town boss George Parker hammers Maverick for losing his money to the gambler and threatens to kill him. So Bart sends out for some insurance: an old friend by the name of Doc Holliday.
Bret Maverick is mentioned in the dialogue of this episode even though James Garner had already left the show.
Pappyism: The smart man suffers his guilt pangs in luxury.
George Parker: Can you beat a flush?
Bart: Sorry, full house.
George Parker: How'd you get so lucky?
Bart: (yawns) I just live right. Excuse me.
(Parker and his cronies burst into Bart's room)
Bart: Don't be so formal, come right in, gentlemen.
George Parker: Mr. Maverick, I've been thinking over our game … and it's absolutely inconceivable to me that I should lose at poker. But since I did lose, I've come to a very painful conclusion : you must've cheated.
Bart: Would you mind telling me how?
George Parker: Well, frankly, I'm not sure. But that's just a detail.
Bart: Eh, could it be that I'm a better player?
George Parker: No!
George Parker: I don't like to lose, so I never do.
Slim: You're a stranger, and in this town, Mr. Parker may not always be right, but he's never wrong.
Bart: On the face of such logic, uh, what do you expect me to do?
George Parker: Under the circumstances, why don't you leave town on the next stage?
Bart: Gladly. As soon as I get what's coming to me.
George Parker: You heard the man.
Bart: Oh, I have a feeling I shouldn't have said it that way.
Bill Parker: What he doesn't own outright, he holds a mortgage on, and people always do what he says.
Bart: I'm gonna spoil his record. Anybody tells me to get outta town, I get very hard of hearing.
Bill Parker: Help me to teach him a lesson. You can ask any price, money is no object.
Bart: It may not be to you, but to me money's the most beautiful object in the world and I have no intention of leaving any of mine here.
Bart: Till I come up with something, what would you lose if you just tried to talk to him once more?
Bill Parker: (scoffs) Couple a teeth.
Holliday: Bart Maverick, how are ya!? Will you have a drink?
Bart: How are you, Doc?
Holliday: Not too drunk to protect my own interests. This is Ellen, keep your hands off her. Ellen, this is Bart Maverick, but as far as you're concerned, he doesn't exist.
Ellen: Haven't you had enough to drink?
Holliday: You're so pretty I can't mind you askin' such a stupid question. Bart, how would you like to help me brood?
Bart: Since when do you need help, Doc?
Holliday: I'm low, miserable, drunk and sick and I'm perfectly willing to share it all with you.
Bart: (laughs) That's the best offer I've had today.
Mrs. Parker: My Daddy used to say "A girl can trust any man she can out-shoot".
Holliday: Anybody but me ever tell ya what a sneaky mind you've got? I often wonder if we're not related.
Bart: Doc, my Pappy's not the kind to kiss and tell.
Bart: You know, George is gonna get a swift kick where it hurts most - right in his wallet.
(Ellen comes down the stairs)
Bart: Now, Doc, we're gonna spend the evening furthering our education. We're gonna improve our intellects so we'll be sharp in the morning.
Holliday: Well now, that's one course in anatomy that's just a little too advanced for you, son.
Bart: I'll stay after school.
Holliday: Let me put it more subtly. You lay one finger on her and you're gonna flunk out of life.
Bart: You don't mean it's love?
Holliday: It's the most reasonable facsimile I've found.
Bart: Well, from here on out, you keep me covered.
Holliday: What are you worried about? You got a paid up funeral.
George Parker: Don't overdo a good thing, Mr. Maverick. One word from me and you won't be able to get so much as a glass of water in this town. Just remember that.
Bart: And don't you forget, sir, that I could just as easily die of malnutrition
Holliday: It only takes longer.
George Parker: (smiles) I might enjoy that.
Holliday: Say, Bart, for that kind of money you don't think, uh, Bret would try to kill you himself, do ya?
Bart: That's ridiculous, he's my brother! (chuckles)
Bart: Still, we haven't been too close lately.
Holliday: It'll cost you $50 a day in hard cash to hire me as Maverick's bodyguard.
George Parker: What!?
Holliday: Don't try to bargain. You need me more'n I need you. He's a terrible shot
George Parker: What makes you think I want to hire you?
Holliday: If I have to start explaining the facts of life to you, the price goes up.
George Parker: I'll expect you to stop drinking when you work for me.
George Parker: Wait a minute.
Holliday: Price is now $60 a day. (Parker swallows hard)
George Parker: If anyone comes near him, shoot to kill. Don't worry about the law. I'll take care of that.
Holliday: Soon as I get your signed letter in your handwriting confirming those facts, I'll start right to work. Oh, and I wanna see you write that letter, too. (Parker groans) The, un, desk clerk over there can witness the signature. It's not that I don't trust you, because I don't. It's just that, well, if I should shoot someone and you don't make good your promise about the law, then that letter will guarantee me the pleasure of your company at my hanging.
Bart: Aren't you going to eat, Doc?
Holliday: Never on an empty stomach.
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