Max: Psst! Psst! I have to talk in a whisper because the security guards think everyone has gone home! Home! And you know what security guards are like: shoot-shoot-shoot first and still argue about whether you can come in. You see, I'm not one to beat about the large black boots, but the first requirement for any security guard is to be totally-totally-to-to-totally insecure. I mean, who else needs to dress like a riot control cop so that he can write down your name and tell you where to park-park your car! Car! But, security is so important! Important! Alarms, locks, electronic gates, and the ultimate safeguard of your home, the pe-pe-pe-peephole in your door - that little piece of glass designed to help you recognize visitors... and all it does is distort their face so much you can't recognize 'em anyways! So-so-so they're not a lot of use unless you're expecting someone who looks like... Quasimodo. Qua-qua-quasimodo. Or, even worse... a security guard. ...Uh-oh.