McHale's Navy

Season 4 Episode 19

The Wacky WAC

Aired Thursday 9:30 PM Jan 18, 1966 on ABC

Episode Recap

Parker's shower is interrupted, one afternoon, when a lovely blonde WAC (Women's Army Corps) Corporal wanders into the camp, exhausted and lost. The Corporal asks Parker for directions to Voltafiore, but Parker – Dressed only in a towel and shower cap – Is too embarrassed to answer. Then, when the Corporal begins to feel faint, Parker yells for help, and all the guys come rushing in. Virgil catches the Corporal as she faints, and the guys are naturally surprised to find a lovely lady soldier in the camp. Concerned about her well-being, Virgil holds her on her feet, as Willy rushes out to get some water for her. Virgil deduces that she must have come from the WAC base in Monteverdi, some 50 miles away. "Methinks this little lady has gone over the hill!" guesses Gruber. "Ohh, I don't know, Gruber." Says Parker. "She still looks pretty good to me!" "No, Mister Parker," says Gruber. "I mean she's AWOL!" Willy then returns with a glass of water, which they quickly administer to her. When the Corporal regains her senses, she takes a look around, at the guys, then introduces herself as Corporal Sally Murdock. They guys all say "Hi", and Parker introduces himself. Sally then admits that she's AWOL, and explains that her unit is scheduled, soon, to ship out to North Africa, and that she'd made the trip to Voltafiore to try to see her boyfriend – A Sergeant Bob Clancy – One more time, before leaving. The guys all know Clancy, and Sally begs them to take her to him, a request, to which, the guys all happily agree. Later, in town, as McHale and Tinker approach Binghamton's office, The Captain is a bit upset, as he follows Colonel Harrigan out the door. It seems that there has been some kind of security leak, in the area, and Harrigan has blamed Binghamton for it. After Binghamton vehemently denies any leaks in his command, McHale politely interrupts, asking for The Captain's signature on a repair order for the 73. But Binghamton then angrily shouts that there might be enemy agents near, and that they might find out that they have a boat out of commission. "Binghamton, I don't think the enemy would send enemy agents to this area." Says Harrigan. Why should they? WHEN THEY CAN HEAR YOU, ALL THE WAY BACK TO BERLIN!!" Later, at the 73 compound, McHale is pretty upset that the guys have harbored, aided, and abetted a military fugitive. Seeing that she's caused quite a bit of trouble for McHale and the Crew, Sally politely excuses herself, and states her intention to be on her way. But, McHale stops her, and asks if there's anything at all that they can do to help her get back to her base. But Sally tells him that she has no intention of returning to her unit until she's seen Sergeant Clancy, adding that she didn't come this far to just turn back. After a bit of argument, Virgil suggests that – Rather than taking Sally into town, to see Clancy – They get Clancy to come to see Sally, at their base. Gruber adds that – Since Clancy is Harrigan's personal driver – They get Harrigan to come out for a lecture on Army ordnance – And Clancy would have no choice, but to come along. Though not crazy about the idea, McHale reluctantly gives in, and agrees to contact Harrigan, to set up the lecture. Later, when Harrigan arrives, for the lecture, McHale tells him that he intends to show his appreciation for The Colonel's willingness to help, with a word to The General. As Harrigan steps away, to begin the lecture, McHale takes Clancy aside, and discreetly points out Sally. They're both happy to see one another, but McHale urges Clancy to wait until the lecture begins, before getting together with his beloved. But Harrigan orders Clancy to stand by, making it impossible for him to get away. Meanwhile, not far away, hidden behind a line of brush, dressed in full camouflage gear, are Binghamton and Carpenter. The suspicious Binghamton peers through binoculars at the scene in the McHale compound, wondering why Harrigan would go out of his way to spend time with the 73 Crew. Then, as he sweeps his view to his left, he spots Sally, hiding in the bushes, not far away. Thinking that Sally is a spy, the Captain quickly decides that he's found the security leak. Back at the lecture… McHale and the guys all listen, intently, as Harrigan begins the lecture with a talk on the "Workhorse of the U.S. Infantry, the Garand M-1 rifle". Gruber even pipes in with a question to make their interest seem real. But Binghamton soon interrupts the lecture, rushing in with his .45 in hand, shouting that he's found the security leak, quickly accusing "McHale and his traitors" with consorting with the enemy. Harrigan asks Binghamton if he has any proof, and Binghamton orders Carpenter to bring their 'spy' in. Carpenter hustles Sally in, now dressed in a skirt and blouse, at gunpoint, and Willy and Christy have to hold Clancy back, to keep him from rushing to her aid. Harrigan asks Sally who she is, and , in an effort to sound Italian, she comes back with: "No capiche." The Captain explains that he'd found the woman hiding in the bushes, nearby, listening to their weapons lecture. But McHale laughs it off, telling The Captain that she's just a poor farm girl, from the north. But Binghamton doesn't buy it, knowing that there is no such thing as a native Italian girl, with blonde hair. The Captain orders her hauled away to the brig, pending an investigation by G2 (Military Intelligence) as Christy and Willy subdue the very angry Clancy. Later, in the wine cellar, McHale and the guys are discussing Sally's predicament. They all know that they need to get her out of the brig, and McHale's only solution is to tell The Captain that Sally is not a spy, and only an AWOL WAC. In any case, they know they must spring her in time for her to make it back to her unit, before it ships out, lest she then be a deserter. But, the question is… How? Just then, Fuji comes in with Sally's uniform, all nice and clean and pressed, and McHale suddenly comes up with an idea. And… Since Parker looks as though he'll fit the uniform, the idea is quickly put into action, much to Parker's protest. Later, in Binghamton's office Parker steps in, now dressed in Sally's uniform, and confronts Carpenter. Parker introduces himself as a Corporal Rinkle, an MP from G2, and tells Carpenter that he's come to pick up the prisoner. Carpenter is about to lead him up to where Sally is confined, but Binghamton comes in, and wants to know what's going on. Parker introduces himself, and states his business, but Binghamton flatly refuses to let the prisoner go until The General arrives. But 'Rinkle' isn't happy with the fact that the prisoner is being guarded by a man, so Binghamton agrees to let 'Rinkle' take Carpenter's place, and leads him upstairs. After Binghamton and Carpenter are out of earshot, Parker lets on who he really is. Sally is delighted that he's come to rescue her, and Parker leads her to the window, where McHale and Gruber wait below, on the street, with a rope. McHale tosses the rope up, and, as Parker is securing it to the bedpost, Binghamton knocks on the door. Parker rushes Sally out the window, and down the rope, then goes to the door, opens it, and begins to try to stall The Captain, who has come to talk to the prisoner. Parker refuses, on the pretense that Sally is dressed only in her 'unmentionables', and threatens to report Binghamton to The General. Meanwhile, Sally makes it down to the street, and McHale asks where Parker is. Sally explains that Binghamton had come to the door, and that Parker was trying to stall him – A situation that McHale isn't too happy about. Then, Tinker – Who is acting as lookout – Has more bad news. A jeep with 2 real WAC MPs has just pulled up out front, and the MPs are on their way into the office. Thinking quickly, McHale tells Tinker to hide Sally in the truck, and stay put, then he and Gruber head for the office. Inside, Binghamton is following 'Rinkle' down the stairs, trying to get her not to report him to The General. Then, the 2 real MPs enter. The MP Private reports to Binghamton that they have been sent to guard the prisoner. Binghamton is now quite confused, what with 'Rinkle' having come to pick up the prisoner, and with the other 2 MPs having come to keep her there. So, he angrily tells them all that Lieutenant Carpenter will be assigned to guard the prisoner, and that will be that. Binghamton sends Carpenter back up to his post, and Parker tries to make an exit. But Binghamton won't allow it, telling them that he wants them all to stay, for The General's arrival. After the other MP Corporal reminds The Captain that The General won't be arriving until the following morning, Binghamton decides that they'll all just have to spend the night in his spare room – A situation which Parker is not comfortable with – But he has no choice but to go up to the room with the other girls. Down on the street, McHale, Tinker, and Gruber watch, as Sergeant Clancy pulls up outside the office, in a jeep. McHale sends Gruber and Tinker over to stop Clancy, before he goes into the office. When they bring him back, he's a bit upset, until he sees Sally, and climbs up into the back of the truck for a reunion. Meanwhile, up in the spare room, Parker really begins to get nervous, when the lady MPs start to make themselves more comfortable, by getting out of their uniforms. Just as Parker tries to make an excuse to leave, by telling them he needs to run out to the PX for some razor blades, the MP Private happens to glance out the window, and spots Tinker, waiting and pacing on the street, below. Parker then luckily has a convenient way out, when the other girls think that Tinker is 'Rinkle's' date. After 'Rinkle' promises to ask Tinker if he has 2 friends, he makes a quick exit. But, he's no sooner out of sight, when the 2 girls spot Gruber and McHale with Tinker, down on the street. Outside, Parker heads out of the building in a hurry, and McHale, Gruber and Tinker rush over to him. But, before Parker can explain, out come the 2 lady MPs, thinking they've got dates. Parker quickly grabs Tinker, and the girls each grab McHale and Gruber. Then… More trouble, when Colonel Harrigan arrives. He roars up to the office, gets out of his jeep, and steps over. He asks McHale if he's seen Clancy, and, as McHale tries to stutter out a reply, Harrigan notices the ladies and greets them, suddenly understanding the apparent situation. Then… Even more trouble, when Binghamton comes stomping out of the building. He angrily asks what the WACs are doing associating with McHale and his men, and McHale explains that they don't even know the women, with Parker adding that they're "Blind dates". Then, Harrigan angrily tells The Captain that he's looking for Clancy, and, as McHale tries to make an exit, Carpenter comes rushing in. He frantically tells Binghamton that their prisoner has escaped, and the angry Binghamton orders an all out search, complete with roadblocks, and orders to shoot to kill. Binghamton then orders McHale and his Crew back to their base, and McHale happily obeys, and heads out, with his men close behind, including Mr. Parker, who has forgotten that he's still 'Corporal Rinkle'. Binghamton stops Parker, angrily telling him that no women are allowed on McHale's base, then Harrigan rubs it in, to Binghamton, about having lost the prisoner. Binghamton then hurries away, yelling for Carpenter to call the MPs. At the truck, McHale waits for Parker, but Gruber reminds him that time is running short, for getting Sally back to her unit. So, McHale reluctantly decides that Parker is just going to have to get out of this one, on his own. Harrigan then invites the 2 other MPs out for a nightcap, and they each happily take an arm. As they step away, Harrigan glances back at Parker. "Let's go, sugar," he says. "You look as though you could really use a drink!" Harrigan chuckles as he and the 2 MPs step away. Later, in the wine cellar, McHale lays down the law to his Crew… "I wanna tell you goof-balls one thing…" he says, angrily. "If I ever see… Or hear… Of another woman, within five miles of this place… So help me, I'll…" McHale's angry speech is then cut short, by the sound of a female voice. "Yoo hoo!!" It says. "Anybody there?" "What is that?!!" shouts McHale, angrily. "Sounds like we're in trouble again." Mutters Christy. Just then, Parker – Still in his WAC MP uniform, and apparently staying in character – Comes stumbling down the stairs. When the guys ask him how he got away, he explains that he'd gone to powder his nose, and just kept on going. McHale then asks why Parker is still using his 'Corporal Rinkle' voice, reminding him that there's no need to, now. Parker then explains, in his high-pitched voice: "It's this girdle!" he says. "I told you it's too tight!" With which, McHale and the guys all get a big laugh.