The red plaid coat that Marin wore in this episode was designed by Joeffer Coac.
The sticker on Marin's bag reads "Ask Me How I Got Happy."
(Jack brushes against Marin at the bar.)
Marin: Oh, That's original.
Marin: (laughs) The old pick-up line. Use a little sprucing up, if you know what I mean?
Jack: (laughs) Yeah, I'm not trying to pick you up.
Marin: Oh yeah, you are. Trust me, I know men I'm a relationship coach.
Jack: Coach, what, you have, like, a ball team?
Marin: No, I do not have a ball team.
Jack: Well you got balls.
(At Marin's book signing.)
Jane: It's official, no one in Alaska reads.
(Jack walks in and looks at Marin.)
Jack: How ya doin', Coach?
Jane: Sir, perhaps you'd like to add Marin Frist's bestseller to that stack?
Marin: Jane, it's fine
Jane: She is a world renown dating expert.
Jack: Yeah, I know; I was at her, ah, lecture.
Jane: Hmm, you know how amazing she is.
Jack: Well, I know she can't hold her liquor. (looks at Marin's pitiful expression) Here, you know what? I'll take one.
Marin: Oh, don't buy my book 'cause you pity me.
Jack: Okay. (he picks up his books and leaves)
Marin: I'm officially pathetic.
Marin: How many of you think that finding the one is gonna make you happy? (many hands raise) Wow. When did we decide someone else was in charge of our happiness? We don't even trust someone else to order our soy lattes! (they all laugh) Your happiness is your own responsibility. You have to learn to drive before you can let some guy take your wheel. We want men. We don't need men.
Marin: Finding a good man is about as easy as finding a cab
in a snowstorm
on New Year's Eve. That's what my mother used to say. You know what I say? Bull crap. (laughter echoes from the audience of women) Look, I get it. Some days it feels like full-on "Planet of the Females" out there. A literal no-mans land
even the store mannequins are women. There are, like, a grillion women for every man. And you're smart, you've done the math; that one man is never going to be your man. You know what we call that, ladies?
Ladies: Stinkin' thinkin'!
Marin: Yep. I got news for you, there are plenty of guys out there. They're not the problem, ladies, we are.
(after falling through thin ice on a frozen lake)
Jack: Didn't you see the thin ice signs?
Marin: Seeing signs? Not my strong suit.
Marin: (speaking to Annie) Don't you want to stalk someone a little groovier, like Bruce Springsteen or something?
Marin: Yeah, dating was impossible for me once a guy found out I was a relationship coach, so I would lie and say that I was a computer technician.
Sara: How did that work?
Marin: Well, pretty good until he asked me to fix his hard drive.
(In the bar)
Ben: And what'll it be?
Jane: Ah, yeah. I would like a "char-don-nay." It's a white wine...
Ben: If you like white, I have a "jolivet pouilly-fume" 2001 that will knock your boots off.
Jane: (looking at all the men in the Chieftain) Oh... Is this a gay bar?
Marin: This is the only bar. This town is filled with men. They're all over like a bad rash. They're even in the trees.
Marin: I'm a relationship coach.
Jack: What... coach? What, did we get a ball team?
Marin: No, I do not have a ball team.
Jack: Well, you got balls.
Graham McCarthy: (discussing Kiki) I just thought she was gonna be a "speed bump."
Marin: You're using my words to break up with me?
Graham McCarthy: (to Marin) Most people count sheep. You count... singles.
Buzz: You're paying for expertise. Back in 1955, they only hired one black pilot to captain a commercial airliner.
Marin: That was you?
Buzz: No, that was August Martin.
Marin: I can't stand guys.
Theresa: Well, you came to the wrong town. The ratio is like, ten to one, here.
Marin: So men run the place?
Theresa: Are you kidding? We're the ones with the power. They're lonely, we're the prize. It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
Marin: Here I've been telling single women to go to sports bars when I should have been telling them to go to Alaska.
Theresa: Yeah, well, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Jack: It's a pretty big, possibly rabid, raccoon. You gonna want to wait outside.
Marin: I'm not leaving that thing alone with my favorite purple faux croc flats.
Jack: Well, could be dangerous.
Marin: I'm fine.
Jack: They go for the neck.
Marin: Whatever! Get all macho.
Patrick: You missed my radio show this morning.
Marin: Oh, okay, I'm sorry about that.
Patrick: Yeah, had to interview my mom... again.
Jane: Look, you just have to get back on the horse. Start writing a book again and it will be okay.
Marin: Oh yeah? And what's the name of the book gonna be? "I'm not getting married in four weeks because he cheated on me and you can too?"
Buzz: Hmm... That's a little long.
"City Of Love" by Persephone's Bees
"Mama Told Me Not To Come" by Three Dog Night
"Poor Boy" by Steve Earl
"Drive, Drive, Drive" by Pat Cusick
"World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies
"Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall
"Cowboy Mambo" by David Byrne
"Gone Daddy Gone" by The Violent Femmes
"Love Stinks" by J Geils Band
"The Outdoor Type" by The Lemonheads
"The World Exploded Into Love" by Bob Schneider
Ben: You have Dirty Harry syndrome.
Jane: I booked you on Oprah.
The Oprah Winfrey Show (Oprah, as it is often referred to) is an American nationally syndicated talk show, hosted and produced by Oprah Winfrey. It is the longest running daytime television talk show in the United States, with 20 seasons and thousands of episodes since it debuted on September 8, 1986.