Grandma: Michael just had a lovely weekend with his lady friend.
Carl: All right, you and Molly finally did the nasty?
Grandma: "Did the nasty" - listen to you! That's probably why the last woman you brought into this house came with an air pump and a patch kit.
Carl: Grandma, I told you that was a gag gift from the guys at work.
Grandma: Weren't no gag gift when I heard it pop at 3 o' clock in the morning.