Mike & Molly

Season 2 Episode 21


Aired Monday 8:00 PM Apr 30, 2012 on CBS



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Peggy: (walks by Jack and Mike in a wig and sexy outfit with the stripper) Hello, Jack. Long time no see. This is Lieutenant Sexy, and he's giving me a ride home. Then he's gonna drop me off at the house. Get it?
      Jack: (to Mike) Who the hell was that?
      Mike: I have no idea. (Jim walks by) Him, I know.

    • Christina: (gives a gift to Molly) It's just a little something I thought could come in handy on the honeymoon.
      Victoria: Sexy panties?
      Christina: No.
      Joyce: Flavored love jellies?
      Christina: No.
      Peggy: Ball gag and nipple clamps?

    • Mike: Carl, you can read me like a book.
      Carl: Well it's easy when every chapter is titled "I could eat."

    • Samuel: So what's the deal, are we going to a strip club or are you guys going to be the biggest boobs I see all night?

    • Molly: (about Joyce and Victoria) The two of them have to make everything dirty; it's like my confirmation party all over again.

    • Joyce: So this is Mike's father, huh? Still got most of his hair - that's a good sign.
      Molly: I think baldness is on his mom's side and it skips a generation.
      Joyce: Oh that's right - I saw pictures of Vince's maternal grandma - she looked like Tweety Pie with a monobrow.

    • Jack: Eh, marriage has its ups and downs. One day you're madly in love, the next day you're fishing your clothes out of the bird bath and sleeping in the backseat of your Buick Skylark.
      Mike: Well, I'm sure things will work out.
      Carl: Better than they did for poor Tony. I'd rather have to fight some crow for my undies instead of getting donut-holed by some crazy b*tch with a shotgun.
      Jack: Ain't that the truth. Poor bastard never saw it coming.
      Mike: How could he? He was laying on the neighbor lady.

    • Carl: Now, time for the tough questions: #1 - topless or all nude?
      Mike: Whatever, I just don't want to be dragged on-stage by three girls named Cinnamon so they can play "Let's humiliate the fat guy."
      Carl: Hey, it's not humiliating. They just take your shirt off, strap you to a chair and rub their oily butts in your face.
      Mike: Don't read too much into this, but I had a very similar experience in Boys' Camp and that wasn't at all sexy.
      Carl: Noted. So you'll probably gonna want one of the classier places - not too near the railroad tracks or mental institution.
      Mike: Exactly, maybe on that provides a limo service so that we can all drink.
      Carl: No, no, the places that offer free drinks are usually desperate for customers. I'm guessing those girls are probably all-nude and half-dude.
      Mike: We don't want to spin that wheel.
      Carl: No we don't. It's hard enjoying bonding with buddies when you got some he-she shaking their furry gonads in your face.

    • Carl: (to Mike) I am tired of you making this wedding all about you and Molly.

  • Notes

  • Allusions