Mike: Look, if you're lonely, maybe you should get a dog or a plant. You know, something that has to love you back.
Carl: First of all, I'm not lonely. And, secondly, a dog doesn't guarantee you love. I've had three run off on me. One of them left me for a hobo.
Mike: You're kidding.
Carl: No, I saw him on the street a week later. Acted like he didn't even know me.