Mike & Molly

Season 1 Episode 16

First Valentine's Day

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Aired Monday 9:30 PM Feb 14, 2011 on CBS
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Episode Summary

Mike's plans for Valentine's Day are put in question when he accidentally runs into Molly's ex-boyfriend Kyle.

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (10)

      • Mike: I even listened to her iPod to see what kind of music she liked so I could Karaoke it!
        Carl: What did you decide on?
        Mike: "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC. It was the only thing on there that didn't suck.

      • Mike: Good luck out there Carl.
        Grandma: Where are you going?
        Carl: Don't worry about it, I've got a strategy.
        Grandma: And if you walk into the ladies bathroom at church again pretending to be blind I will slap the black off of you.

      • Grandma: (to Mike) So you thought you were her prince charming on a white horse and now you're seeing other hoofprints in her yard.
        Carl: I bet they're not as deep as yours.
        Grandma: Did anybody ask what do the stupid people think?
        Carl: No.
        Grandma: No is right. So just sit there until we need a learned opinion about drinking straight out of the milk jug or what time the neighbor lady takes her bath.

      • Mike: What if there is other stuff she is not telling me?
        Carl: Have you told her everything about your past?
        Mike: Full disclosure. I've been an open book with that woman.
        Carl: Did you tell her about that overweight singles cruise? If memory serves, you did very well on that love barge.
        Samuel: I bet no one came knocking when that boat was a-rockin'.

      • Vince: (to Molly about Kyle being gay) Just out of curiosity, how did you figure it out? You catch him trying out your panties, or did he just say "Boy, I wish you had a wiener"?

      • Vince: (to Molly) Hey, I've lived, I've loved and with that age comes a certain amount of wisdom. And crabs.

      • Joyce: These are delicious. Who are they from?
        Victoria: Gary, the Channel 9 weekend weather man.
        Joyce: The guy with the bad rug?
        Victoria: You know, he even wears that thing in bed. I woke up one morning and it was stuck to my crotch. Kinda liked it. It was very retro.

      • Joyce: Oh, Vince doesn't like carriage rides. He says a visible horse anus is a boner killer.
        Molly: Sure.
        Victoria: Gary the weather man has the same problem with midgets and schnauzers. It's why we can never do it at the circus or the dog park.
        Molly: (disgusted) Sure.

      • Victoria: You know what they say - candy is dandy, but yay weed.

      • Mike: The nip in the air promotes snuggling . Plus, I'm bringing thermo-underwear and ski masks.
        Carl: Mmm, sounds sexy. Like two cat burglars in the worst vehicle ever.

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