Grandma: I got woken up at 4:00 in the a.m. by some drunk Russian girl thinking my bedroom was the commode.
Mike: Ah, Carl brought home another one, huh?
Grandma: Each one nastier than the last. The boy always did pick low-hanging fruit, but this one was a road apple.
Mike: Yeah, I get his morning-after recap every day, whether I want it or not.
Grandma: Since Christina broke up with him, the boy don't care where he sticks his business. I'm afraid to keep Swiss cheese in the house.
Mike: I'm sure he'll slow down eventually. But I wouldn't be serving him any onion rings either.
Grandma: The boy is working my last nerve. This Ruskie jezebel left cigarette butts in my toilet, and drank all my cognac. Damn Commies think everything belongs to everybody.