Mike & Molly

Season 1 Episode 18

Mike's Feet

Aired Monday 8:00 PM Feb 28, 2011 on CBS
out of 10
User Rating
67 votes

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Episode Summary

When they spend way too much time working together during a snowstorm, Mike and Carl begin getting on each other's nerves.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (10)

      • (Molly wants Carl and Mike to work out their differences)
        Grandma: You heard her. Pick up the phone right now and put an end to this mess.
        Carl: Oh just because he has a girlfriend I'm the one that has to apologize?
        Grandma: No you're gonna apologize because it is the Christian thing to do and if you don't I'm going to part your behind like it is the Red Sea and my foot is Moses.

      • Carl: That man said some very hurtful things, malicious things - insinuating that I'm cheap.
        Grandma: Cheap? Boy wears his underwear until it disintegrates. Like trying to wash cobwebs.
        Molly: Look, all I know is I'm trying to have a romantic weekend with Mike and all he can talk about is you.
        Carl: Really?
        Grandma: Is that a source of pride for you, you masturbating knucklehead? Carl is so cheap he's got magazines dating back to pubic hair.

      • Grandma: Carlton! You keep slamming doors and stomping around and I'm coming up there with my King James bible and a whipping belt. Lord give me patience or an untraceable handgun.

      • Mike: I am going to take a nice hot shower. When I come back I'm going to make sweet love to my girlfriend - something Carl can't do 'cuz Carl doesn't have a girlfriend 'cuz Carl's a loser, and I'm a winner, so drop your drawers and assume the position and get ready to make love to a winner! (enters the bathroom)
        Molly: (alone, exiting the hotel room) Get ready to make love to a pillow.

      • Mike: (about massages) I don't like the idea of strangers touching me - laying naked on the table while some Ukrainian guy uses my ass as a speedbag.

      • Molly: I just hope this little weekend getaway helps relax him. He's been so stressed out lately and he comes home and dumps his day on me.
        Joyce: Vince does that to me constantly.
        Molly: Well, how do you deal with it?
        Joyce: Well, I try to remember that men are ruled by testosterone, which is essentially a poison.
        Molly: A-ha.
        Joyce: So when you get that big loud mouth jabbering in your face, you just say to yourself "this is a sick individual, he is suffering from a semen brain."

      • Mike: That's it! I'm switching tables!
        Carl: Oh and deny me your witty conversation and brilliant reparte?
        Mike: Hey, I'm done talking to you!
        Carl: I was done talking to you first!
        Mike: You've always got to get the last word in, huh?
        Carl: Sure as hell not gonna get the last doughnut!

      • Carl: Well, I thought it would save you a little money with both of us paying for gas.
        Mike: And it would if we were both actually paying for gas. Unfortunately, your wallet and your pants, like Superman and Clark Kent, never at the same place at the same time.

      • Mike: Hey, my socks got soaking wet pushing that car out of the ditch and I don't want to catch a cold.
        Carl: So you're going to air them out over the heating vents? You might as well stick your toes in my nostrils.

      • Carl: Life of a police officer is a life of sacrifice. That's why I've chosen not to enter into a relationship - isn't fair to the woman.
        Mike: I see - it's got nothing to do with her being unwilling to climb into your window after your grandma falls asleep.
        Carl: Hey, if a woman is not willing to shimmy up a drain pipe to get a little taste of Carl McMillan, then she is full of herself anyway.

    • NOTES (2)

      • This episode's end titles has Chuck Lorre's Vanity Card #334.

      • Original International Air Dates:
        Canada: February 28, 2011 on CTV
        United Kingdom: March 21, 2011 on Comedy Central
        Slovakia: January 11, 2012 on Markiza
        Turkey: August 2, 2012 on CNBC-e
        Czech Republic: January 9, 2013 on SMICHOV

    • ALLUSIONS (0)