Mike & Molly Season 2 Episode 8

Peggy: (praying before a meal) Dear Lord, thank you for this food. May it nourish me and give me the strength to get through my day without taking a handful of pills and swan-diving in front of an L train.
Molly: So, you seem good. Everything okay?
Peggy: Well, we've all got our crosses to bear, but apparently the good Lord has made mine out of led and covered it in fire ants, but... whatever, his will be done.
Molly: Ah, you have been through a lot lately - I mean with your boyfriend dying so suddenly and all..
Peggy: Well, that's what men do - they leave. Dennis left in a bodybag, and Mike's dad left in a Chrysler Imperial with his bowling trophy and a homewrecking whore.

Molly: Would you like to sit down?
Peggy: I would, but my hemorrhoids are telling me to stand.

Peggy: Oh, is that what this little lunch date is all about?
Molly: What?
Peggy: Think you can wine and dine me with the two dollar government meal and get me to spill my guts like it's "Daddy touched me" week on Dr. Phil?
Molly: Peggy, please keep your voice down.
Peggy: Let me tell you something: I may be old, lonely and heartbroken, cast aside by my own flesh and blood, but you'll never hear me complain about it.
Molly: (sarcastically) Oh, no, you suffer in silence.