You may still be catching up on the overflowing cornucopia of fall television, but did you know that the midseason is literally right around the corner wearing a ski mask and waiting to bonk you over the head with even more new shows? It's true.
And to aptly prepare you for the upcoming mugging, ABC has announced its midseason plans, including premiere dates for three brand-new series—Kyle Killen's Mind Games, Tricia Helfer as a spicy Marshal in Killer Women, and the not-quite-zombie drama Resurrection—as well as a return date for Suburgatory.
The new year will also bring about a time change for Revenge, which will slide back an hour to 10pm in an attempt to give new series Resurrection a bigger audience. ABC says it wants to make the evening flow more smoothly, but I'm not sure that a fantasy genre show (Once Upon a Time) and then a heavy dead-people-come-back-to-life existential drama (Resurrection) and then some extra soapy twists (Revenge) make up my idea of good flow. But is there any possible good flow to that trio?
Also of note is the premiere of Mixology, a comedy that concurrently follows the lives of several bar patrons over the course of one night. After Super Fun Night finishes its season, Mixology will move in behind Modern Family on Wednesdays at 9:30pm—a time slot that's widely considered to be one of television's best. That means ABC still isn't moving Trophy Wife (which currently airs on Tuesdays) behind ModFam where it belongs. Instead, TV's biggest family comedy will be followed by a bunch of drunk single people trying to get laid. Is ABC asleep or just stupid?
But the biggest bummer in all of this is the delay of The Quest, the network's forthcoming LARPing extravaganza that takes the rules of The Amazing Race and applies them to a set that's straight out of Dungeons & Dragons. Damn! I really want to see this. The Quest has been pushed back to summer, where it probably belongs, honestly.
Elsewhere, The Taste (surprisingly) returns for a second season, expanding to two hours and airing on Thursdays along with a new drama called The Assets, while Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, Grey's Anatomy, and Scandal take extra-long winter breaks (all three shows will return later in the spring). Oh, and The Bachelor—now with Juan Pablo from Desiree's season of The Bachelorette—is back as usual, on Monday nights starting in early January.
Since it's been a while since ABC's new shows were announced, here's a refresher:
The Assets: This is an eight-episode limited series about a CIA agent in 1985 during the Cold War hunting down one of the biggest moles (spy kind, not burrowing mammal kind or skin defect kind) in U.S. history. If you've never heard of it before today, well, you're not alone; the show definitely wasn't part of ABC's Upfront announcements last spring. I have no idea what to expect.
Killer Women: Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica) plays a Texas Ranger... and she's a female!
Mind Games: From Awake creator Kyle Killen, this drama stars Christian Slater and Steve Zahn as brothers who start an agency that solves problems through the real-science of manipulation and motivation. I'm excited about it. (Pictured, top of the page.)
Mixology: This comedy follows singles at a swanky New York bar and already it sounds annoying. But here's why it also sounds interesting: The whole season takes place over one night and covers several different characters. (Pictured, above.)
Resurrection: Do subtitles have you avoiding Sundance Channel's French import The Returned? Them bam! Resurrection! It's similar in premise to The Returned, with dead people coming back to life not to eat the flesh of the living, but to ponder why they're dead and what they're supposed to do now. Omar Epps and Kurtwood Smith star.
ABC's 2014 Midseason Schedule!
(New shows in ALL CAPS)
THURSDAY, JANUARY 2
8-10pm – The Taste
10-11pm – THE ASSETS
MONDAY, JANUARY 6
8-10pm – The Bachelor
TUESDAY, JANUARY 7
10-11pm – KILLER WOMEN
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 15
8:30-9pm – Suburgatory
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 26
9:30-10pm – MIXOLOGY
SUNDAY, MARCH 9
9-10pm – RESURRECTION
10-11pm – Revenge (New Time)
TUESDAY, MARCH 11
10-11pm – MIND GAMES
AIRED ON 4/8/2014
Season 1 : Episode 7