Modern Family Season 3 Episode 24

Haley: Proms are lame, it's just an excuse for dressed up dorks to ride in limos and hump each other.

Phil: (to Alex) Always keep the rhythm in your feet and a little party in your shoulders.

Luke: Are you doing sex?

Alex: You know what? I might just go crazy tonight and hook up all over him.

Gloria: Jay, Manny! Good news! Mitch and Cam are getting a new baby today!
Jay: Really? That's fantastic!
Gloria: And it's Latino!
Manny: (to Jay) How's that giant fence working out for ya?

Mitchell: (on the ground) I think I'm lying on a rock.
Cameron: I'm lying next to my rock.

Dylan: Mr. D, do you have a tuxedo I could borrow?
Phil: Yeah, sure, I mean, it's the tux I got married in so it's double breasted.
Dylan: Perfect. So am I.

Haley: (re: dress for prom) Mom, can I borrow that purple dress I said you were too old for?

Jay: (re: Lily dancing) Honey, there must be something I can do to get you out there.
Lily: (whispering) Come dance with me, Grandpa.
Jay: Now, honey, that's not gonna happen. How 'bout I give you fifty bucks?

Jay: (to Lily) I first had your aunt Claire and then your dad came along and I loved them just the same. No matter what he tells you.

Dylan: (re: he and Haley living together) Listen, I know that you're concerned, but I'm designing T-shirts now, and they're gonna be huge. Also, medium and small.

Alex: Yes, my bad boy prom date is gay. He just doesn't know it yet, so I'm basically his beard. Pre-beard. His stubble.

Claire: (to Alex) Oh, you look adorable!
Alex: Adorable? I'm not a puppy.
Claire: Honey, it was meant as a compliment.
Phil: Claire, I got this. Honey, you look super sexy.
Alex: Ew.
Phil: Well, we tried everything.

Lily: What are you building?

Manny: It's a model of a plane that was built for Amelia Earheart.

Lily: Why?
Jay: Because she wanted to fly around the world.

Lily: Why?
Jay: Because she probably needed to get away from her kids.