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Alex learns she has to share valedictorian honors with a rival, but the tie could be broken by a 1-mile run for a gym grade neither has completed. Meanwhile, Gloria studies for her U.S. citizenship test, but is distracted by a visit from Javier and Mitchell and Cameron join a protest against a restaurant where they actually can't wait to dine.moreless
Jay and Phil pick up Lily's hand-me-down princess castle for Joe, but Jay worries that his son is playing with too many girlie things, and Phil is mad that Claire doesn't want him to buy a video-game console. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron babysit Joe and wonder what it would be like to have another child. Gloria helps Haley assert herself at work and Claire tries to get Luke an award at school by bribing the principal.moreless
Cam asks Jay to sub in on his bowling team for the finals, but doesn't make it clear that it's an all-gay league, which puts Jay in a precarious situation. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire are surprised by how much fun they have at dinner with their neighbors Ronnie and Amber; and Gloria and Mitch set out to prove they are still young and fun by agreeing to a night of clubbing with Haley.moreless
Jay's birthday comes with a number of interesting gifts, including Phil's high-tech outdoor grill, and Claire and Mitchell's offer to pay back some ancient loans—though they don't think he'll actually accept it. Meanwhile, Gloria teaches Manny and Luke a lesson about drinking and Andy finds himself in an awkward situation when Haley brings her new doctor boyfriend.moreless
Claire tackles spring cleaning, while Phil worries that Luke is getting better than he is at just about everything. Elsewhere, Haley tries to get Alex's mind off school by taking her to a music festival; and Gloria and Jay promise to give up their vices of Spanish soap operas and cigars, respectively, but it's easier said than done when Gloria attends Cameron's faculty talent show and Jay goes with Mitchell to pick up Lily at camp.moreless
Jay and Claire shoot a commercial for Pritchett Closets to counter a rival's splashy ad, but dad and daughter have conflicting creative visions. Meanwhile, Phil, Luke and Manny try to take down a Peeping Tom's drone that's spying on a sunbathing Gloria. Cameron is nervous about Lily's performance in a school talent show and Haley worries about Andy when he's rushed to the hospital with appendicitis.moreless
Claire's stuck at the airport and her computer is her lifeline when she's trying to contact Haley after a big fight, and the whole family gets involved in the online drama.
Phil's long reunion weekend with his old cheerleading friends prompts Claire to lobby for a first-class seat on the flight home, leaving her husband in coach. Meanwhile, Gloria wants Jay to teach Manny how to stand up to a bully in his cooking class and Mitchell, Cameron and Pepper throw a belated baby shower for Sal.moreless
The Dunphys hatch another amorous adventure as Clive and Juliana for Valentine's Day, but Claire is afraid that Phil might be a little too into her alter ego. Meanwhile, a visit from Gloria's sister, Sonia, could spoil Jay's plans for a romantic evening; and Mitchell and Cameron get into a tricky situation with a friend.moreless
Joe has developed a rash and may be allergic to Stella, which does not please Jay when Stella has to go away for a while, meanwhile Mitchell helps out at the Closet Factory and Claire finds out what the staff actually think of her.
A brush with death on the way to breakfast has a major impact on the Dunphys, including Claire, who vows to be more carefree; Haley and Alex, who promise not to fight anymore; and Luke, who starts a bucket list. Meanwhile, Manny, who was also along for the ride, says he'll never get in a car again.moreless
The adults take Haley out to the bars to celebrate her 21st birthday. But when Claire concedes that Haley is now an adult and they can be fully friends with no judgement or parental rules, Haley announces her plans to get a birthday tattoo. Back at the house, Lily is asking where babies come from, causing Alex, Luke, and Manny to bicker about whether Lily is old enough for the truth.moreless
Alex tells her folks she has a boyfriend, but Phil and Claire suspect she made it up because they've put too much pressure on her. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria both have parties that neither of them wants to attend and Mitchell lends a helping hand to a coworker, but his and Cameron's new couch may be a casualty of his altruism.moreless
Claire is frustrated when Phil decides to do something different than the usual House of Horrors for Halloween and makes AwesomeLand instead. It doesn't help Claire's mood that the new neighbors are trying to prove that their house is the scariest on the street.
The Dunphys move into a hotel while their house is undergoing mold remediation, so Phil tries to put a positive spin on their involuntary bonding experience. Meanwhile, Gloria worries about Manny when he dates an older, popular girl and Cameron is afraid that his team's winning streak could be jinxed by Mitchell.moreless
While editing Mitchell and Cameron's wedding video, Phil discovers he's to blame for a miserable cold that's been plaguing the family. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria advise Manny on how to deal with the stress of high-school football, but Cameron can't decide how much playing time he should get and Mitchell meets his intellectual match in Lily's new friend, Sydney.moreless
Jay and Gloria's anniversary creates a dilemma when they can't decide what kind of gifts to give. Elsewhere, the Dunphys tag along on Alex's tour of Caltech, but Phil, Luke and Haley get wrapped up in a campus experiment, while Claire tries to convince her to go there and Mitchell, Cameron and Lily pose for a new portrait for their mantel.moreless