Modern Family

Season 1 Episode 12

Not in My House

Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Jan 13, 2010 on ABC



  • Trivia

    • In this episode Claire implies that one of her kids was looking up porn, and when Alex and Haley look at Luke he says "Gross. I'm ten!" But actually he is eleven because his birthday is in November and he is in 5th grade.

  • Quotes

    • Alex: Did you draw on my poster?
      Haley: Yeah, I did. Maybe you'll think about that the next time you read my journal.
      Alex: I didn't read your stupid journal, and I waited in line to get this signed, Haley.
      Haley: Oh, don't be such a baby. It's just some dude with weird hair.
      Alex: That's Maya Angelou, you idiot.
      Haley: Oh, sorry I don't follow the WNBA.

    • Claire: Okay, I checked the rest of the computers in the house. I didn't find any more porn.
      Phil: That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.

    • Mitchell: Hey, Cam, does the gardener usually work on Saturdays?
      Cameron: I don't know. he comes when we need him. He's like Batman, but straight. (Looks towards window) Is he crying?
      Mitchell: Oh, yeah. We should probably...probably go out the back, huh?
      Cameron: He's clearly in pain. How could you just turn your back on a friend like that?
      Mitchell: A friend? Really? Yeah. What's his name?
      Cameron: Caesar Sal...azar.
      Mitchell: You made that up. You were gonna say Caesar Salad.

    • (Claire and Phil discover the picture of the topless woman on the tractor)
      Phil: Claire, this is a very delicate situation. If we don't handle it right, Luke might end up having an unhealthy attitude about sex. Or agribusiness.

  • Notes

    • Although credited, Rico Rodriguez (Manny) does not appear in this episode.

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Canada: January 13, 2010 on Citytv
      United Kingdom: January 28, 2010 on Sky1/Sky1 HD
      Czech Republic: May 19, 2010 on HBO Comedy
      Latin America: September 21, 2010 on FOX
      Sweden: October 15, 2010 on TV4
      India: November 23, 2010 on Star World
      Finland: June 23, 2011 on MTV3
      Slovakia: February 17, 2013 on JOJ Plus

  • Allusions