Modern Family

Season 1 Episode 1


Aired Wednesday 9:00 PM Sep 23, 2009 on ABC



  • Quotes

    • Phil: Kids, get down here!
      Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs? Just text me.
      Claire: All right, that's not going to happen. And, wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
      Haley: What's wrong with it?
      Claire: (To Phil) Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?
      Phil: Sorry. (To Haley) Oh, yeah, that looks really cute, sweetheart.
      Haley: Thanks.
      Claire: (To Haley) No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl. You don't need to prove it to them.
      Alex: Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.
      Phil: I got it. Where's the baby oil?
      Claire: It's in our bedside tab--(Under her breath) I don't know. Find it.