Phil: Kids, get down here!
Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs? Just text me.
Claire: All right, that's not going to happen. And, wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
Haley: What's wrong with it?
Claire: (To Phil) Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?
Phil: Sorry. (To Haley) Oh, yeah, that looks really cute, sweetheart.
Claire: (To Haley) No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl. You don't need to prove it to them.
Alex: Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.
Phil: I got it. Where's the baby oil?
Claire: It's in our bedside tab--(Under her breath) I don't know. Find it.