Sarah Hyland (Haley) and Ariel Winter (Alex) do not appear in this episode.
Jay: Manny thinks his father is like Superman. Truth: he's a total flake. In fact, the only way he is like Superman is that they both landed in this country illegally.
Jay: Hey, hey, hey, nice bike Sally.
Jay: Oh come on, he looks like Little Bo Peep on that thing.
Phil: Actually, not for long. He's getting a new bike this afternoon.
Luke: I am?
Claire: He is?
(At his one-on-one with the camera at home)
Phil: Sometimes a man has got to put his foot down and do what a man's gotta do. And if the old lady don't like it... (turns around to make sure that Claire's not around) Honey?!... (looks back into the camera) ...that's too damn bad.
Jay: Sometimes things work out just the way you want. Sometimes they don't. You gotta hang in there. Because when all is said and done, ninety percent of being a dad is just showing up.
Mitchell: Wow, paisley and pink. Was there something wrong with the fish net tank top?
Cameron: Obviously not, I'm wearing it underneath... Kidding. Just chill, please.
Phil: Don't scratch anything while I'm gone... unless it itches. That's different.
Phil: (About what's the key to being a great dad) Well, be their buddy.
Claire: That's your answer?
Phil: ...and stay in school.
Phil: ...and don't do drugs.
Phil: Just give me the answer.
Claire: Oh god!
Gloria: It makes me so happy to see my two boys working together.
Manny: Jay shocked himself twice.
Jay: Okay, Manny.
Manny: Well, I warned him.
Jay: Yep, he's been a big help.
Gloria: Look at you two with your private jokes already. You're a regular Salazar and El Oso.
(Anton and Scott enter)
Cameron: Are you kidding me?
Mitchell: I am so sorry.
Cameron: Look at those queens. I would have killed with this crowd, but you had to clip my wings, which you used to be the wind beneath.
(after Luke buys a bike)
Phil: So listen, buddy, certain members of this family don't think you can take care of this bad boy.
Luke: You mean Mom?
Phil: Your words, not mine.
Manny: My dad once got struck by lightning! That's why he can drink as much as he wants
Original International Air Dates:
Canada: September 30, 2009 on Citytv
United Kingdom: October 22, 2009 on Sky1/Sky1 HD
Sweden: April 23, 2010 on TV4
Czech Republic: April 27, 2010 on HBO Comedy
Australia: May 25, 2010 on Channel Ten
Latin America: August 17, 2010 on FOX
India: November 9, 2010 on Star World
Finland: April 14, 2011 on MTV3
Slovakia: January 13, 2013 on JOJ Plus
Cameron: (on Meryl Streep) ...whether she's divorcing Kramer, whether she's wearing Prada.
Cameron is referring to Meryl Streep's films Kramer vs. Kramer (1979), wherein she plays divorcee Joanna Kramer who fights for custody against Ted Kramer (Dustin Hoffman) over their son, and The Devil Wears Prada (2006).
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