Monarch of the Glen

Season 3 Episode 6

Series Three - Episode Six

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Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Dec 09, 2001 on BBC
8.8
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Episode Summary

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Series Three - Episode Six
AIRED:
Archie invites a journalist to visit and write an article on Glenbogle. Graham, however turns out to be Stella's embittered ex and he writes a scathing review that will finish the estate for good. While Duncan kidnaps a coach load of tourists and brings them to Glenbogle , Lexie and Archie break into Grahams computer and emails a new and improved article to his editor. Duncan's tourists have a fantastic time fortunately and Glenbogle becomes an official stop off place on the tour.moreless

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (8)

      • Hector: I, like my lovely wife, am an artist.

        Lexie: Aye, and we'll know what sort of artist.

        (Molly looks surprised at what Lexie says and then starts laughing)

        Hector: Preci...(he figures out what Lexie said)

      • (Husband and wife getting back on the tour bus after being at Glen Bogle)

        Husband: Scotland in a glass.

        (Wife looks at how much is left in the bottle)

        Wife: We didn't drink all that did we? Where the rest of it?

        Husband: Still in his decanter (speaking of Hector)

      • Golly: Well, I wouldn't go that way.

        Graham: You think I'm going to listen to you?

        (Graham falls straight into a 'mud' puddle)

        Golly: At least you'll be able to say now that you've really tasted the highlands.

      • Golly: Just a wee bit of mud. Oh dear, they heard us. Come on.

        Graham: You sure this is mud?

        (Golly walks over and sniffs)

        Golly: Oh, aye, aye. You're right Graham. Well spotted. Probably some fox marking out his territory. Well, it'll cover up the smell of your aftershave. Eh. Come on.

      • Hector: (somewhat intoxicated) There's the small of the bill.

        (Stella holds out her hand to Hector for the bill)

        Hector: Stella. You are the soul of generosity and forebearance.
        (Hector gets up and starts to leave the bar)

        Hector: Lead the way Archie. (whispers) And get a move on.

        (Stella looks at Hector's bar bill)

        Stella: What was he doing with the stuff, bathing in it?

      • Archie: Father, there you are.

        Hector: Of course I am. I belong here. I'm like that house; a crumbling old ruin. Dispensing to run and serving no purpose whatever.

        Archie: Stella was too hard on you, but she's got her own problems.

        Hector: She was right though, wasn't she? I'm an aristocrat. No marketable skills. I'm a relic. A figurehead on a sinking ship.

        Archie: Come inside and have a drink.

        Hector: Huh! That mouthwash she calls whiskey? There are more dignified ways of ending it all.

        Archie: That is enough! You are a MacDonald! The elder of a fighting clan! We have never been driven out by fire, sword or siege and we will not be defeated by...spreadsheets! I won't have this pathetic maudlin defeatism!

        Hector: Don't bother me boy! You're not too big to go across my knee!

        Archie: That's more like it! We'll find a job for you, even if it's just frightening away the tourists. Now come inside before the midges suck you dry.

      • (Hector takes a drink and starts coughing)

        Hector: Oh, I've been poisoned. This isn't single malt whiskey. It's boiled bog-water.

        Stella: Actually, it's 'Super Saver Blended', 7.99 a bottle.

        Archie: Oh yes. This is Stella Moone, our financial controller.

        Hector: Lacritia Borga to her friends.

        Graham: Stella.

        Stella: Hello Graham. Fancy meeting you here.

        Archie: What you know each other.

        Graham: Yes.

        Stella: No.

        Graham: Sort of. We're married.

        Stella: Separated. Would be divorced but Graham can't spell his own name.

      • Ian: Thanks for coming to meet me. I would have caught the bus.

        Archie: Oh, don't worry. The next one's not till Tuesday.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)