USA (ended 2009)
Three of my favorites are from "Mr. Monk Stays in Bed".
[Natalie's cell phone rings]
Monk: Natalie, it's me, Adrian Monk.
Natalie: Yes, Mr. Monk, we were just talking about you.
Monk: Natalie, you have to come back here.
Natalie: I can't right now, Mr. Monk, I'm at the pizzeria talking to the manager.
Monk: It's Ebola.
Natalie: Excuse me?
Monk: I think I have the Ebola virus.
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk you do not have the Ebola virus.
Monk: I'm pretty sure I do, I have all the symptoms, I have the headache, the fever, the massive internal bleeding.
Natalie: You have massive internal bleeding?
Monk: Yes, I believe I do, that is my opinion.
[Monk is in bed and Natalie brings him some soup.]
Monk: I see letters!
Natalie: It's alphabet soup.
[While Monk's in bed Stottlemeyer visits him.]
Stottlemeyer: [pointing to machine] What's this?
Stottlemeyer: [Pointing to other machine] And this?
Stottlemeyer: Well, don't they cancel each other out?
Ambrose: You should have seen him. Going into stores and buying things all by himself when he was fifteen. Driving a car when he was twenty-three. Going out on dates...going out on dates with women, at twenty-six years of age!
...never fails to crack me up.
I love the whole series but one of my favorite episodes/moments is in "Mr. Monk Goes to Mexico" and at the end when he's so thirsty and is packing up their rooms and telling what happened to the Spanish detective. His voice is just so funny. And when he comes back from almost being run over by the car
"the guy out front told me I was dead. I'm not dead. Am I?"
I'd say when he went to new psychatrist ... he had only 1 hand and the whole conversation was about that he LOVES symetric things
Psychiatrist:Tell me what was Trudy like?