Captain Leland Stottlemeyer
When Monk enters the sheriff's office, he adjusts the blinds until they're even. When the woman leaves, they're uneven. Then they're even again when he closes the door.
Monk: I want people... people... Who said it... I like people. Gimme a chance! Just give me once more chance. I'll be nice. I'll be... I'll be good. I'll be... I'll be empathetic. I'll be the empathetic detective.
(Monk is being chased by alien fanatics)
Alien Fanatic: Don't touch him! Earth germs might kill him.
Monk: Actually, that one might be true.
Monk: Are you mad at me? You're mad at me. I'm a detective. I can tell.
Natalie: You just walked around rearranging spoons and plates and sweeping up crumbs. Couldn't you have at least tried?
Monk: I tried. I smiled. I smiled a lot.
Natalie: You were wincing!
Monk: That's my smile. That's how I smile.
Stottlemeyer: How's Monk holding up?
Natalie: Not so good. He thinks he saw a UFO.
Stottlemeyer: Really? Well, maybe they're there to take him home. Maybe that's his ride.
Natalie: That's what I said! Captain?
Stottlemeyer: That would explain a lot, wouldn't it?
Sheriff Fletcher: You saw a UFO?
Monk: No. No, I didn't say that.
Sheriff Fletcher: Oh. So, uh, was it an object?
Sheriff Fletcher: Uh, could you identify it?
Monk: No, no.
Sheriff Fletcher: And it was flying.
Sheriff Fletcher: You add that all up, Mr. Monk, you've got yourself a UFO.
Dickie: Is there a problem with your room? I couldn't help noticing all your cleaning supplies.
Monk: Oh, no. no. It's fine. The hotel's great. This is just a hobby.
Natalie: He just bought one bag. That's like giving you a gold star.
Sheriff Fletcher: One of us is going to have to go get help. The highway's about 15 miles that way.
Monk: All right, Natalie and I will go.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, we can't leave him, he's been shot.
Monk: All right. Natalie and I will stay here.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, he can't walk.
Monk: Well, what do you suggest, Natalie? Do you have any ideas at all?
Natalie: Yeah, you get help, I stay here and take care of the sheriff.
Monk: Any ideas at all, because if you do I'd really like to hear them.
Natalie: I'm going to ask you if that was a coyote, and you say "no." Was that a coyote?
Sheriff Fletcher: No.
Natalie: Really, was that a coyote?
Sheriff Fletcher: Yeah.
Monk: So this is where it ends. This is it. Surrounded by dirt. Covered in dirt. You win, dirt! Congratulations, dirt! Well played.
Monk: I'm just cleaning, I haven't dusted up here for two, three...
Location: Vasquez Rocks, Los Angeles County, California
Jason Gray-Stanford is credited but doesn't appear.
This episode featured a sneak preview of the web series "Little Monk and the Missing Bracelet."
Czech Republic: March 5, 2010 on TV Nova
Slovakia: December 1, 2010 on Markiza
Finland: July 7, 2012 on YLE TV1
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