Mr. Monk told the sheriff that he didn't think that Debbie would leave her parakeet behind. The bird in Debbie's apartment definitely was not a parakeet. The bird looked like a sun conure which is a small parrot. This would also fit with Mr. Monk noticing that Debbie had the bird her whole life. Parakeets (budgerigars) have a life span of only about 7 years while conures can live for 30 years.
Monk's meal costs $12.50, but he has only $5.00, therefore owing the waitress $7.50. Later, he tells Cora that he owes the waitress $7.00. Surely, someone as obsessive-compulsive as Monk would have given the correct total.
Monk: (while covered in bees in a beekeeper suit, to a nearby policeman) Excuse me, is your gun loaded?
Monk: Could you do me a favor? Just...kill me.
Sheriff: Why didn't you just stay in the car?
Monk: There's a bee in the car!
Truck Driver: Does this look like a Greyhound bus to you?
Monk: No. Buses have seats... and windows.
Truck Driver: It was a rhetorical question.
Truck Driver: What are you doing?
Monk: (referring to a five-dollar bill) Smoothing it out.
Truck Driver: Why?
Monk: I don't know.
Roger Zisk: Don't ponce my ride! (Monk continues to adjust Roger's side-view mirror) What are you doing?
Monk: It's just... it's not quite straight.
Roger: What part of "Don't ponce my ride" don't you understand?
Monk: Ah, " ponce." (pause) Most of... all of it, really.
Sheriff Bates: How'd that happen?
Cora: I'll tell you how it happened.
Sheriff Bates: Cora?
Cora: A can of paint fell on his head and he about fell overboard.
Sheriff Bates: How do you know this, Cora?
Cora: Because I was there. It was in Naples. Italy. He was on a cruise.
Sheriff Bates: So you know this man?
Cora: Yes, I know the man. Of course I know the man. He's my husband.
Monk: I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that you were a blonde.
Cora: A blonde?
Monk: And you looked pretty--different. Pretty different. . . .
Monk: Where are my clothes?
Cora: You lost 'em. You lost everything. Gambling.
Monk: I gamble.
Cora: Now what?
Monk: Uh, I'm--I'm afraid.
Cora: You're up two feet, Jerry! You can do this. That's why you became a roofer, to get over your fear of heights. And it worked.
Monk: A pregnancy test.
Cora: Looks like she had a bun in the oven.
Monk: How do you know?
Cora: Those two little lines there. That means positive. See, you pee on this end.
Monk: (dropping the pregnancy test) Aaahhh! Wipe! Wipe! Wipe!
Stottlemeyer: I'm putting up four thousand of these [photos of Monk]. I'm going to put them in post offices, truck stops, and drug stores.
Dr. Kroger: Wait. Wait. Why the drug stores?
Stottlemeyer: I figure he's going to have to buy wipes sooner or later.
Dr. Kroger: If you're right, he [Monk] could be out there meeting himself for the first time.
Disher: He's meeting himself?
Stottlemeyer: That can't be good.
Monk: I don't want to tell you what these bags smell like.
Sheriff Bates: Well,that's exactly what they are. That's fertilizer.
Monk: Oh, my God. My God. This is worse than drug trafficking. You gotta nail this guy.
Monk: He's the guy. Let's call the captain.
Sheriff Bates: What captain?
Monk: I don't know.
Monk: The truth is, I'm not so attracted to you.
Monk: The truth is, you sort of terrify me.
Cora: Hey! There's no such thing as a perfect marriage.
Monk: Here's what I think, uh, uh . . . .
Sheriff Bates: Happened?
Monk: What's my name?
Monk: What's my name, really?
The character Roger Zisk is apparently named in honor of director and producer Randy Zisk.
Cora: What are tryin' to be, some kind of Captain America?
Captain America was an all-American superhero created by Marvel Comics' predecessor, Timely Comics, during WW2. Frozen in a block of ice, he was revived in the modern day and is a member of the Avengers, and has appeared in several movies.