Lt. Randall Disher
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer
Monk likes chewing on toothpicks in "Mr Monk Takes A Vacation," but here he says people only do it to boost their ego.
When Natalie calls Kemp from the Wednesday night bowling league, there is bright sunlight outside Kemp's office window.
It's not likely that a security firm that installed a voice scrambler and sweeps for bugs twice a week would fail to notice the vulnerability of large windows to eavesdroppers in the courtyard. Although they might not have counted on a lip reader, it would have been very easy to listen through the glass with simple equipment.
Trivia: The conversation cards were also used in "Mr. Monk and the Blackout."
Not very wise of the criminal to chew on a toothpick and leave it at the crime scene. There would be saliva on it. That's instant DNA.
Eventually the other bowlers notice that Monk is wearing street shoes, but no bowling alley would have let him on the alley in the first place without bowling shoes.
Natalie: (to Warren Kemp) [Monk] can't work here. There are people here.
Monk: Give me the cards. Weather. Politics. Swear words.
Natalie: Swear words?
Monk: (pocketing the swear word cards) Don't you look at them. Football.
Monk: You guys wanna hear some swear words?
Monk: We were talking about the local football franchise.
Stottlemeyer: The Niners.
Monk: No. The San Francisco Forty-Niners.
Monk: He's insecure. He's always trying to impress people. Act tougher than he is.
Disher: How do you know that?
Monk: He was chewing on this--toothpick.
(Stottlemeyer, chewing on a toothpick, glares.)
Natalie: I used to work in a place like this. Lasted about two weeks. You do the same thing every day.
Monk: (longingly) The same thing.
Natalie: After a while, you get to feel like a number.
Monk: A number?
Natalie: Just like everybody else.
Monk: Everybody else . . . .
Warren Kemp: All you have to do is look busy. I'll give you some reports to collate.
Monk: (to Natalie) Did you hear that? I'll be collating!
Monk: Look at him! He's completely obsessed. And not in a good way, like me.
Natalie: How's the hand?
Warren Kemp: Nine broken bones.
Monk: One more, it would have been an even ten.
Kemp: You sound disappointed, Mr. Monk.
Monk: Well, it's too late now.
Chilton Handy: Mr. Kemp said I could have that cubicle.
Abby: What's the difference?
Chilton: It's closer to the emergency exit. Statistically, it's a little safer.
Abby: Statistically, you're a little nuts. Why don't you double up on your medication and get back to work?
Monk: I have a gang. I'm in the gang. They're waiting for me.
Natalie: What are you talking about?
Monk: Natalie, they like me. I brought some cards along and I haven't had to use them. Nobody's laughing at me.
Monk: (to "the gang") No, I couldn't have been a detective. I could never be a detective. They're lonely. They're very lonely and sad. They don't have a gang. A gang from the office.
Monk: One more [bowling pin], it would have been an even ten.
Frances: Oh, you get another chance. You get two balls.
Monk: Here's the thing. When you say "rent a pair," you're talking about footwear that other people have already worn?
Abby: That's right.
Monk: On my feet? Here's the thing. I don't like to share--anything.
Monk: That was our table. We sat at that table and ate nachos.
Natalie: You ate nachos?
Monk: No, but I pretended to. And then later, Ben made a copy of his Caucasian buttocks, which was very funny, but I don't know why.
Monk: He'll think we're in love.
Natalie: You don't look like you're in love. You look like someone who's had some sort of industrial accident.
Disher: Something else, too, sir. It's pretty big. (Gestures toward a chair.) Don't worry. You don't have to sit down. I mean, you can sit. Sit or stand.
Stottlemeyer: Can I walk away?
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