Monsters

Season 3 Episode 8

Shave and a Haircut, Two Bites

1
Aired Unknown Nov 18, 1990 on

Episode Recap

A man, Thomas, goes to his small town's barbershop to get a haircut. As the barber goes to work, Tommy says that his high school friend Kevin thought that barbers were vampires, and that a vampire owned the shop... and Kevin was very convincing.

High school student Kevin has his friend Tommy over to his apartment across the street from the town's barbershop. He says that the owners, Mr. Innes and Mr. Denofrio are really vampires. He has been tracking their movements and the movements of their customers, and knows that people come into their shop with large bottles of blood. They leave with the same haircuts but carrying smaller bottles filled with a red liquid. Tommy reminds his friend that vampires are supposed to take blood, not trade it, but Kevin persists. He paints some fake blood on a mirror and explains that the barber pole represents blood, and was the sign of the barber's guilt. Kevin wants to break into the barbershop now that Innes and Denofrio have left for the evening, and convinces Tommy to go with him.

Kevin picks the lock on the shop door and goes inside with Tommy, and starts looking for leeches. When Tommy wonders why, Kevin explains that back in the Middle Ages, barbers were surgeons and bled people using leeches. As he searches, the teenager finds a very old razor with a Latin inscription on the blade: "Endure this evil lest a greater come upon you." Tommy concedes that it sounds strange, but that it doesn't sound like something a vampire would say.

As Kevin continues his search, he explains that vampires disappeared from recorded lore at about the same time that the barber guild became powerful. He figures that the surviving vampires joined the guild to remain hidden from the humans who had learned to destroy them. The vampires could then draw blood and bleed people without drawing attention to themselves. Tommy doesn't believe it but Kevin points out that the haircut prices are very low but almost no one ever comes there due to the bad haircuts. Unconvinced, Tommy points out that nobody in town has died or disappeared under mysterious circumstances, and Kevin admits that he's still developing his theory.

Scared that they'll be found, Tommy wants to go. Kevin insists on continuing his search, and points out something else that doesn't add up. Innes and Denofrio also make house calls, taking the small bottles with them and leaving with the big bottles. All of their customers are the richest people in town. As they talk, Tommy messes with the headrest on the chair he's sitting in, and a neck tray springs up around his neck and locks his head in position. Kevin quickly pulls it away and discovers that it has a tube leading from the bottom into the floor. Tommy looks around and finds a door leading to the cellar. Before they can investigate, Innes and Denofrio arrive at the shop and start unlocking the door. Kevin hides beneath the counter and Tommy hides in the door to the stairway.

The two barbers come in and quickly find Kevin hiding. They shove him into one of the chairs and ask why he's there. They know who he is and don't believe him when he first claims that he's pledging a fraternity, and then that he's a thief. Kevin finally accuses them of being vampires but the barbers point out that they carry crosses, are out in daylight, go to church, and have reflections. They assure Kevin that they're not vampires... and then put the tray into position and Innes makes a small cut on Kevin's throat.

As the blood drips into the tray and down the tube, Tommy retreats in fear down the stairs. He discovers that the cellar is filled with jars containing leeches. In the next room he discovers an amazing sight: a giant leech-like creature, resting on a table and feeding on the blood coming down the tube. Innes comes up behind Tommy and forces him into the room to the leech-creature, his "Master." The barber explains that the Master came to their guild six centuries ago, seeking a place to hide. They agreed and as it stayed with them, it continued to mutate, becoming less and less human and more like its true nature.

Upstairs, Denofrio gently pats Kevin's neck wound and assures him that he won't let him bleed to death.

Innes tells Tommy that Kevin will be fine and then better than fine. The Master exudes a red liquid from a tube on its body into a chalice. Innes forces Tommy to drink it and the teenager smiles in pleasure. The barber says that in return for their service, the Master grants them with long, long lives. Not immortality, but the next best thing. He tells Tommy that they'll give Kevin a sample of the Master's blood and then introduce him to their Master.

Kevin finishes giving Thomas his haircut and the two men switch places so that Thomas can give Kevin his haircut.

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