Monty Python's Flying Circus

Season 3 Episode 11

Dennis Moore

0
Aired Unknown Jan 04, 1973 on BBC
8.9
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Dennis Moore
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Boxing Tonight: Sir Kenneth Clarke meets a boxer in the ring for Oxford professorship of fine arts; credits; Dennis Moore steal lupins from the rich `Stand and deliver! Your lupins or your life!', song: The Ballad of Dennis Moore; housewives discuss astrology; doctors shake down patients; animation- ambulance drivers loot house; should there be a fourth TV network?; BBC1 announcements; George the 1st: Episode 3: The Gathering Storm, Dennis Moore rides again `In a bunch!'; Ideal Loon exhibition with French osteopaths, priests in custard and then there's the judging; animation- thief steals newspaper clippings; off-license sketch goes into poetry and then a short story `seems there was this chap called Dennis Moore', Dennis Moore returns; Prejudice! a TV show featuring Shoot the Poof! and miserable fat Belgian bastards; Dennis Moore attempts to redistribute the wealth; credits; losing judge contestant cries.moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    John Cleese

    John Cleese

    Various Characters [ series 1 - 3, Deutsche shows & features ]

    Eric Idle

    Eric Idle

    Various Characters

    Graham Chapman

    Graham Chapman

    Various Characters

    Terry Jones

    Terry Jones

    Various Characters

    Terry Gilliam

    Terry Gilliam

    Various Characters

    Michael Palin

    Michael Palin

    Various Characters

    Nosher Powell

    Nosher Powell

    Jack Bodell

    Guest Star

    Carol Cleveland

    Carol Cleveland

    First Lady, in Dennis Moore; Card Girl, in Prejudice

    Recurring Role

    Watch Online

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

    FILTER BY TYPE

    • TRIVIA (2)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • (The little hut is now stuffed with all possible signs of wealth and all imaginable treasures.)
        Mr. Jenkens: What you got for us today then?
        Dennis Moore: Well I've managed to find you four very nice silver spoons, Mr. Jenkens.
        Mr. Jenkens: (snatching them rudly) Who do you think you are giving us poor this rubbish?
        Mrs. Jenkens: Bloody silver. Won't have it in the house. (throws it away) And those candlesticks you got us last week were only sixteen carat.
        Mr. Jenkens: Yes, why don't you go out and steal something nice like some Venetian silver.
        Mrs. Jenkens: Or a Velasquez for the outside loo.
        Moore: Oh, all right.
        (Dennis rides off on Concorde yet again. The offscreen singers sing the next verse of the song and call Dennis a stupid bitch.)
        Dennis Moore: What did you sing?
        Singers: We sang... "he steals from the poor and gives to the rich."
        Dennis Moore: Wait a tic... Blimey, this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought.

      • (The ballroom again. The walls are bare and the people are down to their undergarments. They sit around the table gnaun'ng pieces of bread and dipping them in a watery soup. The central bowl of soup contains the lupine that Dennis didn't steal earlier.)
        Buckingham: Meanwhile Frederick William bushy engaged in defending against the three great powers the province of Silesia...
        Grantley: ... which he had seized in the War of the Austrian succession against his word.
        First Lady: Yes, I remember.
        Man: ...was now dependent on Pitt's subsidies.
        (Dennis Moore swings in through the window. They all respond to him with listless moans of disappointment.)
        Dennis Moore: My lords, my ladies, on your feet, please. (he is ignored and therefore says commandingly) I must ask you to do exactly as I say or I shall be forced to shoot you fight between the eyes! (they stand up hurriedly) Well not right between the eyes, I mean when I say between the eyes, obviously I don't have to be that accurate, I mean, if I hit you in that son of area, like that, obviously, that's all right for me, I mean, I don't have to try and son of hit a point bisecting a line drawn between your pupils or anything like that. I mean, from my point of view, it's perfectly satisfactory...
        First Lady: What do you want? Why are you here?
        Dennis Moore: Why are any of us here? I mean, when you get down to it, it's all so meaningless, isn't it, I mean what do any of us want...
        Buckingham: No, no, what do you want now?
        Moore: Oh I see, oh just the usual things, a little place of my own, the fight girl...
        Grantley: No, no, no! What do you want from us?
        Moore: Oh sorry. Urn, your gold, your silver, your jewelery.
        Buckingham: You've taken it all.
        First Lady: This [the spoons] is all we've got left.
        Moore: That's nice. I'll have them. Come on. (he takes all the spoons)
        Buckingham: You'd better take the bloody lupine too.
        Moore: Thank you very much. I've gone through that stage.

      • Buckingham: This, coupled with the presence of Peter and his Prussians at Mecklenburg and Charles and his Swedes in Pomerania, made George and Stanhope eager to come to terms with France.
        Grantley: Meanwhile, a breach had now opened with...
        (Dennis Moore swings in as before.)
        Grantley: Oh no, not again.
        Buckingham: Come on.
        Dennis Moore: Stand and deliver again! Your money, your jewellery, your... Hang on. (takes out a list) Your clothes, your snuff, your ornaments, your glasswear, your pussy cats...
        Buckingham: (aside to the first lady) Don't say anything about the lupine...
        Dennis Moore: Your watches, your lace, your spittoons...

      • (In a rude hut, lit by a single candle, Mrs. Jenkens lies apparently dying on a bunk. Lupines are everywhere, in the fire, on the bed, a large pile of them forms a pillow. Mrs. Jenkens is moaning and Mr. Jenkens is kneeling beside her offering her a lupine. Dennis Moore enters slowly.)
        Mr. Jenkens: (dressed largely in a lupin suit) Try and eat some, my dear. It'll give you strength. (Dennis Moore reverently approaches the bed; the male peasant looks round and sees him) Oh, Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore, she's going fast.
        Dennis Moore: Don't worry, I've... I've brought you something.
        Mr. Jenkens: Medicine at last?
        Dennis Moore: No.
        Mr. Jenkens: Food?
        Dennis Moore: No.
        Mr. Jenkens: Some blankets, perhaps? Clothes? Wood for the fire?
        Dennis Moore: No. Lupines!
        Mr. Jenkens: (exploding) Oh Christ!
        Dennis Moore: (astonished) I thought you liked them.
        Mr. Jenkens: I'm sick to bloody death of them!
        Mrs. Jenkens: So am I!
        Mr. Jenkens: She's bloody dying and all you bring us is lupines. All we've eaten mate for the last four bleeding weeks is lupine soup, roast lupine, steamed lupine, braised lupine in lupine sauce, lupine in the basket with saut~ed lupines, lupine meringue pie, lupine sorbet... We sit on lupines, we sleep in lupines, we feed the cat on lupines, we burn lupines, we even wear the bloody things!
        Dennis Moore: Looks very smart.
        Mr. Jenkens: Oh shut up! We're sick to death with the stench of them. (His cat dies.) Look! The cat's just choked itself to death on them! I don't care if I never see another lupin till the day I die! Why don't you go out and steal something useful!
        Dennis Moore: Like what?
        Mr. Jenkens: Like gold and silver and clothes and wood and jewels and...
        Dennis Moore: Hang on, I'll get a piece of paper.

      • (An eighteenth-century ballroom. Some dancing is going on. A fop is talking to two ladies in the usual phony mouthing manner. They laugh meaninglessly.)
        Grantley: Ah! 'Tis my lord of Buckingham. Pray welcome, Your Grace.
        Buckingham: Thank you, Grantley.
        Grantley: Ladies, may I introduce to you the man who prophesied that a German monarch would soon embroil this country in continental affairs.
        First Lady: Oh, how so, my lord?
        Buckingham: Madam, you will recall that prior to his accession our gracious sovereign George had become involved in the long standing Northern War, through his claims to Bremen and Verdun. These duchies would provide an outlet to the sea of the utmost value to Hanover. The Treaty of Westphalia has assigned them to Sweden.
        Grantley: In 1648.
        Buckingham: Exactly.
        Grantley: Meanwhile Frederick William of Denmark, taking advantage of the absence of Charles XII, seized them; 1712.
        Second Lady: Oh yes!
        First Lady: It all falls into place. More wine?
        Grantley: Oh, thank you.
        Buckingham: However, just prior to his accession, George had made an alliance with Frederick William of Prussia, on the grounds of party feeling.
        Grantley: While Frederick William had married George's only daughter.
        First Lady: I remember the wedding.
        Buckingham: But chiefly through concern at the concerted action against Charles XII...
        (Suddenly, glass shatters as Dennis Moore swings through the window on a rope. Everyone gasps and screams as he lands spectacularly.)
        Dennis Moore: Stand and deliver!
        All: Dennis Moore!
        Dennis Moore: The same. And now my lords, my ladies... your lupines, please.
        (General bewilderment and consternation.)
        Buckingham: Our what?
        Dennis Moore: Oh, come come, don't play games with me, my Lord of Buckingham.
        Buckingham: What can you mean?
        Moore: (putting pistol to his head) Your life or your lupines, my lord.
        (Buckingham and the rest of the gathering now produce lupins which they have secreted about their several persons. They offer them to Dennis.)
        Dennis Moore: In a bunch, in a bunch. (they arrange them in a bunch) Thank you my friends, and now a good evening to you all.
        (He grabs the rope, is hauled into air and disappears out of the window. There is a bump, a whinny from Concorde, and the sound of galloping hooves. The guests rush to the window to watch him disappear.)
        Grantley: He seeks them here... he seeks them there... he seeks those lupines everywhere. The murdering blackguard! He's taken all our lupines.
        First Lady: (producing one from her garter) Not quite.
        (Gasps of delight.)
        Buckingham: Oh, you tricked him!
        Man: We still have one!
        All: HOORAY!

      • CAPTION: England, 1747
        (A coach is going down a road when a sudden voice screams out.)
        Dennis Moore: Stand and deliver! Drop that gun!
        (He shoots a man in the back of the coach. Dennis rides up on his horse, Concorde.)
        Dennis Moore: Let that be a warning to you all. You move at your peril, for I have two pistols here. I know one of them isn't loaded any more, but the other one is, so that's one of you dead for sure... or just about for sure anyway. It certainly wouldn't be worth your while risking it because I'm a very good shot. I practice every day... well, not absolutely every day, but most days in the week. I expect I must practice, oh, at least four or five times a week...or more, really, but some weekends, like last weekend, there really wasn't the time, so that brings the average down a bit. I should say it's a solid four days' practice a week... At least... I mean... I reckon I could hit that tree over there. Er... the one just behind that hillock. The little hillock, not the big one on the... You see the three trees over there? Well, the third one on the left and back of it... I reckon I could hit that one four times out of five... on a good day. Say, with this wind, say... say, seven times out of ten.
        Squire: What, that tree over there?
        Dennis Moore: Which one?
        Squire: The big beech with the bare branch coming out from the top left.
        Dennis Moore: No no, not that one.
        Girl: No no, he means the one over there. Look, see that tree over there?
        Dennis Moore: Yes.
        Girl: Well, now go two along to the right...
        Coachman: Just near that little bush.
        Girl: Well, it's the one behind it.
        Parson: Ah, the elm!
        Dennis Moore: Oh, that's not an elm. An elm's got a sort of big clumps of leaves like that. That's either a beech or a... or a... a hornbeam.
        Parson: A hornbeam?
        Dennis Moore: No, not a hornbeam. What's the... the tree like that with the leaves that are sort of regularly veined and the veins go right out to the, um...
        Girl: Serrated?
        Dennis Moore: Serrated edges.
        Parson: A willow!
        Dennis Moore: Yes.
        Parson: That's nothing like a willow.
        Dennis Moore: Well it doesn't matter, anyway! I can hit it seven times out of ten, that's the point.
        Parson: Never a willow.
        Dennis Moore: Shut up! It's a hold-up, not a Botany lesson. Now, no false moves please. I want you to hand over all the lupines you've got.
        Squire: Lupines?
        Moore: Yes, lupines. Come on, come on.
        Parson: What do you mean, lupines?
        Moore: Don't try to play for time.
        Parson: I'm not, but... the *flower* lupine?
        Moore: Yes, that's right.
        Squire: Well we haven't got any lupines.
        Girl: Honestly.
        Moore: Look, my friends. I happen to know that this is the Lupine Express.
        Squire: You must be out of your tiny mind.
        Dennis Moore: Get out of the coach.
        (They get out of the coach. Dennis goes in and takes all the lupines.)
        Moore: Just as I thought. Not clever enough, my fine friends. (gets on Concorde) Come on, Concorde!
        (He rides away.)
        Parson: Well, so much for the lupines.

      • The Ballad of Dennis Moore

        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, galloping through the sward,
        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, and his horse Concorde.
        He steals from the rich, he gives to the poor,
        Mr Moore, Mr Moore, Mr Moore.

        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
        Riding through the night.
        Soon every lupin in the land
        Will be in his mighty hand
        He steals them from the rich
        And gives them to the poor
        Mr Moore, Mr Moore, Mr Moore.

        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
        Dumdum alum the night.
        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
        Dun de dun dum plight.
        He steals dumdum dun
        And dumdum dum dee
        Dennis dun, Dennis dee, dum dun dum.

        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
        Riding through the woods.
        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
        With a bag of things.
        He gives to the poor and he takes from the rich
        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore.

        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
        Etcetera, etcetera...

        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
        giding through the land
        Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
        Without a merry band
        He steals from the poor and gives to the rich.
        Stupid bitch.
        (Moore asks, "What did you sing?")
        We sang... he steals from the poor and gives to the rich.
        (Moore says, "Wait a tic... Blimey, this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought.")

    • NOTES (1)

      • The "What the Stars Foretell" sketch was written by Michael Palin and Terry Jones as a parody of the writing style of their Python cohorts John Cleese and Graham Chapman, particularly the Cleese-Chapman obsession with logic and lists. Even though it wasn't intended as a serious submission for inclusion in an episode, everyone else loved it, and the piece made it into the show.

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • Singers: Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore/Galloping through the sward/Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore/And his horse Concorde/He steals from the rich/And gives to the poor/Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore
        In his books, Kim "Howard" Johnson quickly points out the "Dennis Moore" theme is sung to the tune of "Theme From Robin Hood." That information is gleaned from The Fairly Incomplete and Rather Badly Illustrated Monty Python Songbook, published in 1994. Look at the back of the book and the credits for "Dennis Moore." John Cleese and Graham Chapman wrote the words, but the other column is simply labeled "What music?" (Indeed, the book only publishes the lyrics to "Dennis Moore.")

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