Monty Python's Flying Circus

Season 1 Episode 3

How to Recognise Different Types of Trees From Quite a Long Way Away

0
Aired Unknown Oct 19, 1969 on BBC
9.1
out of 10
User Rating
54 votes
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Episode Summary

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How to Recognise Different Types of Trees From Quite a Long Way Away
AIRED:
Hermit comes out of trees; credits; Episode 12b: How to Recognize Different Types of Trees From Quite a Long Ways Away: No. 1: the Larch; Mr. Larch on trial for parking offense with Mrs. Fiona Lewis, the late Arthur Aldridge and Cardinal Richelieu as character witnesses, Dim of the Yard! in pursuit of a notorious Cardinal Richelieu impersonator, song- If I Were Not in the C.I.D., knight with rubber chicken; No. 1: the Larch; `Bicycle repairman, but how?!'; announcer goes crazy on commies, chicken knight; storytime about Rumpletweezer, Old Nick the Sea Captain and Rikki the Magic Pixie; animation- hippo and rabbits, vicar pounds man into ground; an announcer at the beach introduces: the Restaurant Sketch, announcer and chicken knight; animation- advertisement purchase a past; disappearing Milkman; BBC news announcer kidnapped while on air; No. 1 the Larch; schoolboys recognize trees, `Eric's written a sketch', `Say no more! Nudge! Nudge!'; Hermit; credits.moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • Nudge, nudge, know what I mean. Say no more

    7.5
    A great episode, improving on the last two as the show becomes more consistent. The highlight of the show is Eric's Nudge Nudge sketch, it's one we all remember once you've seen it. Bicycle Repair Man was a work of genius on all fronts. The storytime and restaurant sketches were both great, and so was the radio show sketch. The running theme of the tree slides of the larch didn't do a lot for me, it was basically just a way to link everything together. Nothing else really stood out here. But there was enough here to safely say this is the best episode so far.moreless
  • "The larch."

    10
    Botany can be a tricky thing. With so many kinds of flora in this world, how is one to know what's the right name for something? How to not embarrass yourself if you're on a walk with friends?



    Well, don't worry, because by the end of this episode, you'll have the larch down pat.



    And that's not all you'll learn.



    Poor Mr. Larch has to clear his good name in traffic court. Callled to the stand in this matter are Mrs. Fiona Lewis, the late Arthur Aldridge and Cardinal Richelieu.



    A man sits on a park bench and is subjected to some rather unusual, not to mention crude, questions from his new neighbor.



    You'll never look at plant life the same way again.moreless
John Cleese

John Cleese

Various Characters [ series 1 - 3, Deutsche shows & features ]

Eric Idle

Eric Idle

Various Characters

Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman

Various Characters

Terry Jones

Terry Jones

Various Characters

Terry Gilliam

Terry Gilliam

Various Characters

Michael Palin

Michael Palin

Various Characters

Ian Davidson

Ian Davidson

Clerk of the Court

Recurring Role

Carol Cleveland

Carol Cleveland

Female guest at Restaurant; Milkman seducer

Recurring Role

Watch Online

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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  • TRIVIA (3)

    • The original title of this episode was "Bunn, Wackett, Buzzard, Stubble and Boot".

    • All transcripts for the Bicycle Repair Man sketch forget to include the ending, where John Cleese's narrator character goes crazy about BRM fighting the communists.

    • In the online transcripts for the Court Scene sketch, the prisoner is just called "Prisoner", despite the judge calling him Mr. Larch at the start of the sketch.

  • QUOTES (8)

    • First Man: Is your wife a . . . goer . . . eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? Say no more . . . know what I mean?
      Second Man: I beg your pardon?
      First Man: Your wife . . . does she, er, does she "go"? Eh? Eh? Eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Say no more.
      Second Man: Well, she sometimes goes, yes.
      First Man: I bet she does. I bet she does. I bet she does. Know what I mean? Nudge nudge.
      Second Man: I'm sorry, I don't quite follow you.
      First Man: Follow me. Follow me. I like that. That's good. A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat, eh?

    • (From the Restaurant Sketch)
      Cook: (to couple) You bastards! You vicious, heartless bastards! Look what you've done to him! He's worked his fingers to the bone to make this place what it is! And you come here with your petty, feeble quibbling and you grind him into the dirt! This fine, honorable man whose boots you are not worthy to kiss!

    • Mr. Bartlett: I'm sorry I'm late m'lud I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs. Fiona Lewis.
      (Mrs. Lewis walks into the court and gets up into the witness box.)
      Clerk: Call Mrs. Fiona Lewis.
      Fiona Lewis: (taking bible) I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so anyway, I said to her, 1 said, they can't afford that on what he earns, I mean for a start the feathers get up your nose, I ask you, four and six a pound, and him with a wooden leg, I don't know how she puts up widl it after all the trouble she's had with her you-know-what, anyway it was a white wedding much to everyone's surprise, of course they bought everything on the hire purchase, I think they ought to send them back where they came from, I mean you've got to be cruel to be kind so Mrs Harris said, so she said, she said, she said, the dead crab she said, she said. Well, her sister's gone to Rhodesia what with her womb and all, and her youngest, her youngest as thin as a filing cabinet, and the goldfish, the goldfish they've got whooping cough they keep spitting water all over their Bratbys, well, they do don't they, I mean you can't, can you, I mean they're not even married or anything, they're not even divorced, and he's in the KGB if you ask me, he says he's a tree surgeon but I don't like the sound of his liver, all that squeaking and banging every night till the small hours, his mother's been much better since she had her head off, yes she has, I said, don't you talk to me about bladders, I said... (While Mrs. Lewis talks, Bartlett tries to interrupt and ask questions. Eventually he gives up and she is pushed out of court still talking.)
      Judge: Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness.
      Bartlett: My next witness will explain that if m'ludship will allow. I call the late Arthur Aidridge.
      Clerk: The late Arthur Aidridge!
      Judge: The late Arthur Aidridge?
      Bartlett: Yes m'lud. (A coffin is brought into the court and laid across the witness box.)
      Judge: Mr Bartlett, do you think there is any relevance in questioning the deceased?
      Bartlett: I beg your pardon m'lud.
      Judge: Well, I mean, your witness is dead.
      Bartlett: Yes, m'lud. Er, ,well, er, virtually, m'lud.
      Judge: He's not completely dead?
      Bartlett: No he's not completely dead m'lud. No. But he's not at all well.
      Judge: But if he's not dead, what's he doing in a coffin?
      Bartlett: Oh, it's purely a precaution m'lud - if I may continue? Mr Aidridge, you were a... you are a stockbroker of xo Savundra Close, Wimbledon. (from the coffin comes a bang) Mr Aidridge...
      Judge: What was that knock?
      Bartlett: It means "yes", m'lud. One knock for "yes", and two knocks for "no". If I may continue? Mr Aidridge, would it be fair to say that you are not at all well? (from the coffin comes another bang) In fact Mr Aldridge, not to put too fine a point on it, would you be prepared to say that you are, as it were, what is generally known as, in a manner of speaking, dead? (silence) Mr Aidridge I put it to you that you are dead. (silence) Ah ha!
      Judge: Where is all this leading us?
      Bartlett: That will become apparent in one moment m'lud. (walking over to coffin) Mr Aidridge are you considering the question or are you just dead? (silence) I think I'd better take a look m'lud. (he opens the coffin and looks inside) No further questions m'lud.
      Judge: What do you mean, no further questions? You can't just dump a dead body in my court and say 'no further questions'. I demand an explanation.
      Bartlett: There are no easy answers in this case m'lud.
      Judge: I think you haven't got the slightest idea what this case is about.
      Bartlett: M'lud the strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly m'lud reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous ...
      Judge: Mr. Bartlett, your client has already pleaded guilty to the parking offence.
      Bartlett: Parking offence, schmarking offence, m'lud. We must leave no stone unturned. Call Cardinal Richelieu.
      Judge: Oh, you're just trying to string this case out. Cardinal Richelieu?
      Bartlett: A character witness m'lud.
      (Fanfare of trumpets. "Cardinal Richelieu" enters witness box.)
      Cardinal: 'Allo everyone, it's wonderful to be 'ere y'know, I just love your country. London is so beautiful at this time of year.
      Bartlett: Er, you are Cardinal Armand du Piessis de Richelieu, First Minister of Louis XIII?
      Cardinal: Oui.
      Bartlett: Cardinal, would it be fair to say that you not only built up the centralized monarchy in France but also perpetuated the religious schism in Europe?
      Cardinal: (modesty) That's what they say.
      Bartlett: Did you persecute the Huguenots?
      Cardinal: Oui.
      Bartlett: And did you take even sterner measures against the great Catholic nobles who made common cause with foreign foes in defence of their feudal independence?
      Cardinal: I sure did that thing.
      Bartlett: Cardinal. Are you acquainted with the defendant, Harold Larch?
      Cardinal: Since I was so high (indicates how high).
      Bartlett: Speaking as a Cardinal of the Roman Catholic Church, as First Minister of Louis XIII, and as one of the architects of the modern world already - would you say that Harold Larch was a man of good character?
      Cardinal: Listen. Harry is a very wonderful human being.
      Bartlett: M'lud. In view of the impeccable nature of this character witness may I plead for clemency.
      Judge: Oh but it's only thirty shillings.
      (Enter Inspector Dim.)
      Dim: Not so fast!
      Mr. Larch: Why not?
      Dim: None of your smart answers. You think you're so clever. Well, I'm Dim.
      Caption: DIM OF THE YARD!
      Everyone: (in unison) Dim! Consternation! Uproar!
      Dim: Yes, and I've a few questions I'd like to ask Cardinal so-called Richelieu.
      Cardinal: Bonjour, Monsieur Dim.
      Dim: So-called Cardinal, I put it to you that you died in December 1642.
      Cardinal: That is correct.
      Dim: Ah ha! He fell for my little trap.
      Cardinal: (dismayed) Curse you, Inspector Dim. You are too clever for us naughty people.
      Dim: And furthermore, I suggest that you are none other than Ron Higgins, professional Cardinal Richelieu impersonator.
      Cardinal (Higgins): It's a fair cop.

    • Judge: Mr. Larch, you heard the case for the prosecution. Is there anything you wish to say before I pass sentence?
      Mr. Larch: Well... I'd just like to say, m'lud, I've got a family... a wife and six kids... and I hope very much you don't have to takeaway my freedom... because... well, because m'lud freedom is a state much prized within the realm of civilized society. It is a bond wherewith the savage man may charm the outward hatchments of his soul, and soothe the troubled breast into a magnitude of quiet. It is most precious as a blessed balm, the savior of princes, the harbinger of happiness, yea, the very stuff and pith of all we hold most dear. What frees the prisoner in his lonely cell, chained within the bondage of rude walls, far from the owl of Thebes? What fires and stirs the woodcock in his springe or wakes the drowsy apricot betides? What goddess doth the storm toss'd mariner offer her most tempestuous prayers to? Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!
      Judge: It's only a bloody parking offense.

    • Narrator: Yes! Wherever bicycles are broken or menaced by international communism, Bicycle Repairman is ready to smash the communists, wipe them up, and shove them off the face of the Earth. ...MASH THAT DIRTY RED SCUM!! KICK 'EM IN THE TEETH WHERE IT HURTS!!! KILL! KILL, KILL! FILTHY BASTARD COMMIES! I HATE 'EM, I HATE 'EM!! AAARRRGGG!!! AAARRRGGG!!!

    • Storyteller: Hello, Children, hello. Here is this morning's story. Are you ready? Then we'll begin. "One day Ricky the magic Pixie went to visit Daisy Bumble in her tumbledown cottage. He found her in the bedroom. Roughly he gabbed her heavy shoulders pulling her down on to the bed and ripping off her..." (reads silently, turns over page quickly) "Old Nick the Sea Captain was a rough tough jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea and he loved to hang out down by the pier where the men dressed as ladies..." (reads on silently; a stick enters vision and pokes him; he starts and turns over page) ..."Rumpletweezer ran the Dinky Tinky shop in the foot of the magic oak tree by the wobbly dumdum bush in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives and... discipline?... naked?... (without looking up, reads a bit; then, incredulously to himself) With a melon!?"

    • "If I Were Not In The CID" Lyrics

      If I were not in the CID
      Something else I'd like to be
      If I were not in the CID
      A window cleaner, me!
      With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
      And a rub-a-dub all day long
      With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
      I'd sing this merry song!

      If I were not before the bar
      Something else I'd like to be
      If I were not a barr-is-ter
      An engine driver me!
      With a chuffchuffchuff...

    • Narrator: This man is no ordinary man. This is Mr. F G Superman. To all appearances, he looks like any other law-abiding citizen. But Mr F G Superman has a secret identity. When trouble strikes at any time, at any place, he is ready to become... BICICLE REPAIR MAN! (A Superman crashes his bike.)
      Boy: Hey, there's a bicycle broken, up the road.
      Bicycle Repair Man: (thinks) Hmmmmm. This sounds like a job for... Bicycle Repair Man. But how to change without revealig my secret identity?
      Superman 1: If only Bicycle Repair Man were here!
      Bicycle Repair Man: Yes, wait, I think I know where I can find him. Look over there!
      (Caption: FLASH!)
      Supermen 1-3: Bicycle Repair Man! But how?
      (Bicycle Repair Man runs off.)
      Superman 1: Oh look... is it a stockbroker?
      Superman 2: Is it a quantity Surveyor?
      Superman 3: Is it a church warden?
      Supermen 1-3: NO! It's Bicycle Repair Man!
      Superman In Need: MY! Bicycle Repair Man! Thank goodness you've come! Look!
      (Bicycle Repair Man begins repairing bike.)
      Superman 2: Why, he's mending it with his own hands!
      Superman 1: See how he uses a spanner to tighten that nut!
      Superman In Need: Oh, Oh Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?
      Bicycle Repair Man: Oh, you don't need to guv. It's all in a day's work for... Bicycle Repair Man!
      Supermen 1-3: Our Hero!
      Narrator: Yes! whenever bicycles are broken, or menaced by international communism, Bicycle Repair Man is ready!

  • NOTES (3)

    • This, the third episode in terms of both recording and airing order, was taped on Sept. 14, 1969, not Aug. 14, 1969 as erroneously cited in some Python books. (Episode #2, which was the first episode in taping order, had been recorded Aug. 30, 1969, and Episode #1 was taped on Sept. 7, 1969.)

    • Idle reprised the "Nudge Nudge" man in an Australian TV commercial for the Nudge bar. He turned down a sequel spot, giving the role to John Cleese, who played Eric's brother. A nod's is as good as a wink to a blind bat.

    • Eric Idle had originally written "Nudge Nudge" for Ronnie Barker to deliver on Frost on Sunday. That show didn't use the sketch because it had no jokes. When Idle read it at one of the early Python meetings, the others laughed hysterically. Say no more.

  • ALLUSIONS (0)

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