Monty Python's Flying Circus

Season 4 Episode 2

Michael Ellis

0
Aired Unknown Nov 07, 1974 on BBC
8.3
out of 10
User Rating
23 votes
0

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Episode Summary

EDIT
Credits with rolling coin; end credits; a doorman is abused in front of very odd department store (much like Harrod's); a lady buys a flamethrower; some salesclerks make faces at man who wishes to buy an ant (the staff thinks this man is Michael Ellis); man takes ant home to mother; watches BBC lecture on ants; returns defective ant to store; finds Victorian poetry reading about ants; toupee fitting room; manager's office; end of the show department featuring a summing up from the panel, happy ending, long slow fade, two lone figures walking into the sunset, a chase and...moreless

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    John Cleese

    John Cleese

    Various Characters [ series 1 - 3, Deutsche shows & features ]

    Eric Idle

    Eric Idle

    Various Characters

    Graham Chapman

    Graham Chapman

    Various Characters

    Terry Jones

    Terry Jones

    Various Characters

    Terry Gilliam

    Terry Gilliam

    Various Characters

    Michael Palin

    Michael Palin

    Various Characters

    John Hughman

    John Hughman

    Alfred Lorde Tennyson

    Guest Star

    Carol Cleveland

    Carol Cleveland

    Flamethrower Buyer, Happy-Ending Girl

    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (2)

      • (Chris approaches a counter with a sign saying "Ant Counter". He stands by the apparently empty counter for one moment, then rings a bell.)
        Chris: Hello? Hello?
        (A strange rubber-masked head appears from below the other side of the counter and gesticulates at him making a strange noise. This soon stops.)
        First Assistant: Oh, I'm terribly sorry... (he takes off the mask to reveal a straight forward assistant) I thought you were someone else.
        Chris: Oh I see, yes.
        First Assistant: I'm sorry sir, can I help you?
        Chris: Yes, yes, as a matter of fact you can, actually I was interested in the possibility... of purchasing one of your ... can I ask who you thought I was?
        First Assistant: What?
        Chris: Who did you think I was... just then... when you thought I was somebody.
        First Assistant: Oh, it's no one you'd know, sir.
        Chris: Well I might know them.
        First Assistant: It's possible, obviously, but I think it's really unlikely.
        Chris: Well, I know quite a lot...
        First Assistant: I mean he's hardly likely to move in your circles, sir...
        Chris: Why, is he very rich?
        First Assistant: Oh, no, I didn't mean that, sir.
        Chris: Is he a lord or something?
        First Assistant: Oh, no, not at all.
        Chris: Well look, this is very easy to settle. What is his name?.
        First Assistant: What?
        Chris: What is his name?
        First Assistant: Well... er...
        Chris: Yes?
        First Assistant: Michael Ellis.
        Chris: Who?
        First Assistant: Michael Ellis.
        Chris: I see.
        First Assistant: Do you know him, sir?
        Chris: Er ... Michael Ellis. Michael Ellis...
        First Assistant: You don't
        Chris: Well, I don't remember the name.
        First Assistant: I think you would remember him, sir.
        Chris: Why do you say that?
        First Assistant: Well, would you remember a man six foot nine inches high, fortyish, and he's got a long scar from here to here and absolutely no nose?
        Chris: ... oh, I think I do remember somebody like that...
        First Assistant: Well, that's not Michael Ellis.
        Chris: What?
        First Assistant: He's a small man about this high with a high-pitched voice.
        Chris: Right, I'm not going to buy an ant from you now.
        First Assistant: (distressed) Oh, no, please.
        Chris: No. You've not been properly trained. I demand another assistant.
        First Assistant: Oh, no, come on... please...
        Chris: No, I want another assistant.
        First Assistant: All right! I'll get another assistant. (he disappears behind a curtain)
        Chris: Thank you.
        (The same assistant reappears with a long mandarin-style Chinese moustache.)
        First Assistant: (high-pitched voice) Hello sir, can I help you, sir?
        Chris: No, I want a different assistant.
        First Assistant: I am sir, I'm Mr Abanazar, sir.
        Chris: Don't be silly.
        First Assistant: (normal voice) Oh no, please please please let me help you...
        Chris: No! I want another assistant.
        First Assistant: Oh, no, come on, please...
        Chris: If you don't give me another assistant.,.
        First Assistant: No, no, I'll be very good, sir, really. (he becomes exaggeratedly polite) Good morning, sir... how are you, sir... bit parky outside today... isn't it, sir... ? A very nice suit you've got there, sir... you had a very close shave this morning, sir...
        Chris: Right I'm going.
        First Assistant: No, no, please... (he takes off his moustache) I'll get another assistant... (he rings the bell on the counter.)
        (After a pause, very slowly indeed an identical mask to the first appears over the top of the counter right next to the first assistant, making the same noise very quietly. The first assistant sees him, starts and nudges him hard.)
        Second Assistant: Woooooo...ooooooo...
        First Assistant: It's not him!
        (The second assistant makes a disappointed noise and disappears below.)
        Chris: (pointing over the counter at the disappeared assistant) I don't want him!
        First Assistant: Oh please, give him a chance!
        Chris: No!
        Second Assistant: (appearing from below counter without a mask, looking immaculate) Yes, sir, can I be of any assistance?
        Chris: Oh no, come on, don't try that!
        Second Assistant: I'm sorry, sir... try what?
        Chris: You know perfectly well what I mean.
        Second Assistant: I'm afraid I don't, sir.
        Chris: You were down behind there with a silly mask on going wooo-ooo...
        Second Assistant: I don't think I was, sir.
        Chris: All right, get the manager.
        Second Assistant: There seems to have been some sort of misunderstanding, sir.
        Chris: Manager!
        First Assistant: This is the manager, sir.
        Chris: What?
        Second Assistant: (in a silly voice) Yes, I'm the manager.
        Chris: Manager! (he keeps calling)
        Second Assistant: It's a smashing store this, I can't recommend it too highly, well-lit, rat-free. It's a joy to manage. Oh yes, the freshest haddock in London, second floor, third floor Ribena, ants here, television and flame throwers over there, behind them our dinner-wagon exhibition closes at six...
        First Assistant: (nudging him) Quick!
        (They both disappear under the counter. The real manager arrives and presents himself to Chris.)
        Manager: Yes, sir? Can I help you, sir?
        Chris: (noticing the badge on his lapel) Yes, I want to complain about the assistants on this counter.
        Real Manager: I'm sorry to hear that, sir, which ones?
        Chris: Well, they're hiding now.
        Real Manager: Sir?
        Chris: They're hiding, down there behind the counter.
        Real Manager: I see, sir. (he goes round counter, looks, but obviously can't see them; Chris goes round to join in the search)... well... there's nobody down here, sir.
        Chris: They must have crawled through here, and made their escape through 'Soft Toys'. (he points)
        Real Manager: Yes, of course.
        Chris: They were wearing masks and making silly noises and one of them pretended to be the manager. He spoke like this... (does an impression of the second assistant)
        Real Manager: Ah! I think I've got it, sir, I think I've got it! It's rag week.
        Chris: Ragweek?
        Real Manager: Yes, you know, for charity, sir.
        Chris: Oh! I see. Some local college or university?
        Real Manager: No, no it's the store's rag week.
        Chris: The store's rag week?
        Real Manager: Yes. The senior staff don't join in much - it's for the trainees really...
        Chris: It's not very good for business is it?
        Real Manager: Oh, It's for charity, sir. People are awfully good about it, you know. (he rattles a collecting tin)
        Chris: Yes, yes, of course.

      • Chris: What a rotten ending!
        Assistant: Well it is one of our cheapest, sir.
        Chris: What else have you got?
        Assistant: Well, there's the long slow pull-out, sir, you know, the camera tracks back and back and mixes...
        (As he speaks we pull out and mix through to the exterior of the store and into an aerial view of London. It stops abruptly and cuts back to Chris.)
        Chris: No, have you got anything more exciting?
        Assistant: How about a chase?
        (The manager and the toupee assistants suddenly, appear at a door.)
        Manager: There he is!
        (They pursue Chris out of the hall and into another part of the store. Then cut back to Chris at counter.)
        Chris: Oh, no, no, no.
        Assistant: Walking into the sunset?
        Chris: What's that one?
        (Dramatic sunset shot on a beach. We can just see the back of Chris and the assistant as they walk together towards the setting sun. The assistant is gesturing and describing it.)
        Assistant: You know... two lone figures silhouetted against the dying rays of the setting sun. The music swells, you've got a lump in your throat and a tear in your eye...
        (Cut back to the store.)
        Chris: Oh no.
        Assistant: Oh, pity, I rather like that one...
        Chris: They're all a bit off the point, you see.
        Assistant: Well there is one that ties up the whole Michael Ellis thing, but....
        Chris: But what... ?
        Assistant: Oh, no, nothing, nothing...
        Chris: Look, who is this Michael Ellis?
        Assistant: How about a happy ending, sir?
        (A girl rushes up to Chris and flings her arms around him.)
        Girl: Oh Chris! Thank God you're safe.
        Assistant: No, you wouldn't want that, would you.
        (The girl disappears.)
        Chris: Why wouldn't I want that?
        Assistant: What about summing up from the panel? That's cheap. You know - the big match experts.
        (Panel in typical football panel set. Malcolm Allison, Brian Clough, and huge still of Jimmy Hill on set behind.)
        Malcolm Allison: Yes. It was quite a good show. I think that the Michael Ellis character was a little overdone.
        Brian Clough: Well, I don't agree with that, Malcolm, quite frankly the only bit I liked was this bit with me in it now.
        (Cut back to the store.)
        Assistant: No? Slow fade?
        (The picture begins to fade.)
        Chris: Nnnn... no.
        (The picture comes up again.)
        Assistant: Well, how about a sudden ending?
        (Blackout.)

    • NOTES (2)

      • This episode begins with the opening theme song, followed by
        a screen that says "THE END," followed by the end credits, and then the show begins.

      • John Cleese had allowed the other Pythons to use in this program material he had written and discarded for the first draft of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. One such item was the "Toupee" sketch.

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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