David Addison Jr.
Madeline "Maddie" Hayes
Herbert Quentin Viola (seasons 4 - 5, recurring previously)
(The detectives walk out of the bowling alley. It's just now sunrise.)
Maddie: Well, sun's up.
David: I did what I could. Couldn't stop it, though. Want to get something to eat?
Maddie: What, the way I'm dressed?
David: I think you look great.
Maddie: I feel great. And you want to know something dumb, I had a great time.
David: Yeah. Me too. Must be the lack of sleep.
Maddie: That's what I should do, sleep. Go home, get in bed and--
(Maddie stops abruptly, and looks worried. David keeps going. Then he notices.)
David: She was here just a minute ago? (Pause; turns to face her) Maddie?
(Cut to interior of Maddie's room at home. Sam wakes up. Alone.)
(On the way back from the McLafferty's house. David talks about the infidelity in the case.)
David: Talk around it all you want, it's cut-and-dried, bottom line, everyday betrayal.
Maddie: Since when are you so judgemental about sleeping around?
(In the agency office. Sam catches up with David about yesterday's fistfight with a stranger at the gas station.)
Sam: I'm surprised you were able to see anything, much less land a punch.
David: Yeah, well, I did manage to get in a few.
David (to Maddie): It's about time we see that Herbert Viola is promoted to full-fledged Blue Moon flatfoot. He's been doing the work of three short men in this office.
(At David's apartment. He brings out a storage trunk so he and Maddie have something to sit on.)
David: Well, this is great! Glad you stopped by, I've been meaning to have you over. Can I get you something? You sure? Some cheese, peanut butter?
Maddie: David, what are we going to do?
David: I don't know. There's always the bedroom. (She stares.) It was a joke, it was a joke. Bad joke. Ah, let me take your coat.
Maddie: No thanks. I snuck out. I don't have anything on under here except a nightgown. Nice, huh?
David (laughing): Sneakers for sneakin'. I like that. (Now serious) You just left him there, huh?
Maddie: He's perfect for me, you know? But you and me, we... we... (Starts crying, head in hands. After a moment, sits up and looks at David.) I can't believe you're going to sit there and let me go through this by myself!
(David puts an arm around her shoulder. She leans into his chest.)
David (very softly): It's okay.
Maddie (sniffling): I hate you, David Addison.
David: I know. I hate you too, Maddie Hayes. I've always hated you.
(She leans back. They look at each other, and then-- a slow, sweet kiss.)
David: ...You look awful.
Maddie: Yeah, well, you smell awful. (Looks at her hands, touches her face. From all the crying, her makeup is a mess by now.) This is great!
David: I'll get you some tissues. I know I have some tissues here. (Steps out for a minute.)
Maddie: In my whole life, every major event since I was thirteen, you could count on me to cry, count on my mascara to run. Probably go to my grave with running... mascara...
David (returning): I was wrong. I didn't have any tissues. Here. (Hands her a bunch of toilet paper)
(Maddie blows her nose.)
Maddie: David, Mrs. McLafferty, when they carried her out, she looked beautiful, didn't she?
David: Yeah, I guess so-- if you go for that sort of thing.
Maddie: No, I mean we heard her crying a lot-- we heard her crying a lot. When they carried her out, she looked perfect. I mean, her makeup looked perfect.
David: Yeah, so?
Maddie: So, put some shoes on. (Runs towards the door.)
David (to camera): Yeah, I know. I thought we were heading for something big too.
(At David's apartment. There's a knock on the door. He wakes up and goes to answer: it's Maddie.)
Maddie (hurriedly): That night when you interrupted my dinner with Sam, what were you going to tell me?
Maddie: No 'what,' no 'huh,' I want you to tell me what was on your mind. What were you going to tell me?
David: It's four o'clock in the morning-- (Maddie slams the door shut.)
Maddie: What did you want to tell me?
(She turns around to look at the main room of his apartment. There is absolutely no furniture.)
Maddie: Where are we, what is this room?
(After the case business, Maddie goes home. Sam is still waiting, in the living room.)
Maddie: You made lamb?
(Sam nods. Maddie sighs.)
Sam: How 'bout I run you a hot bath? (He stands.)
Maddie: Bath? Lamb? Sam?!... You're in such a good mood. What did you take, and did you put it in the food? (She crosses to Sam and hugs him.) You're going to make somebody a good wife someday.
Sam: So are you.
Maddie: You don't know me as well as you think.
Sam: I know you better than you think I do. (Pause.) Come on, Maddie, what do you say we make it official? You and me. Wife and wife.
Maddie (taken aback): Sam?... Where did this come from?
Sam: I don't know! Laying here, waiting for you... doing things! Listening for the sound of a car... at 2:30 in the morning, right? (Laughs.) Enough to make you crazy. Didn't make me crazy-- made me kinda happy. Yeah, perfectly happy! Just sittin' here, knowing that you'd be coming home. Sometime. To me.
(He caresses her face. She looks rattled, even upset.)
Sam (concerned): What are you thinking?
Maddie: I'm thinking my head's going to explode.
Sam: Come on, Maddie. You've gotta help me more than that.
Maddie: It's nothing... but... maybe it's not nothing. Maybe it is something. I'm confused!-- I'm so confused, I just wish someone would tell me what to do.
Sam: Okay. Do this. Marry me.
(The detectives run up to the house to try and stop Mrs. McLafferty. A shot sounds. David grabs Maddie as she tries to run past him. He keeps her from looking at the scene.)
David: No. Don't look.
David: Don't look at her.
(In the surveillance van outside the McLaffertys' house)
David: Wait, wait, wait-- why would a murderer leave a note?
(In Maddie's office. Sam and Maddie kiss.)
Maddie: Now this is the kind of talk I like!
Sam: Just happened to be in the same state. Thought I'd stop by. Hope you don't mind.
Maddie: Why would I mind?
Sam: Well, it's where you work, spend most of your day... This is the place most people prefer to keep their private life, private.
Maddie: Not me! I'm glad you came by.
Sam: I don't know about you, but I've been spending a whole lot of time thinking about last night.
Maddie: Me too!
Sam: Guess what I've been thinking about most is, how we're gonna top it. (Smiles) Got a few ideas about that one.
Maddie: Anything you can repeat?
Sam: I don't know. Starts with you and me.
Maddie: Just you and me?
Sam: Uh-huh. A bottle of wine, maybe a sunset? Then, ah... we could skip the bottle of wine.
Maddie: It's the tonight part. I've gotta work.
Sam: All night?
Maddie: I don't know.
Sam: No problem. How 'bout same time tomorrow? I hear there's gonna be another sunset.
Maddie: Maybe later tonight, if you're still awake.
Sam: Oh, I'll still be awake.
(Kisses her, then walks out)
(At the Blue Moon office; the detectives walk in. Sam is there to meet Maddie. He says hi to David. The phone on the front desk starts ringing. Agnes ignores it, and stares rapturously at Sam.)
Maddie: Miss Dipesto. (No response) Miss Dipesto, the phone!
Agnes (absently points, does not move): It's right there.
(Bert nudges his way past Sam and Agnes to the phone)
Bert: Excuse me. Excuse me, I'm sorry. (Picks up phone) Blue Moon Detective Agency? If you want a rhyme... call another time. (Glares at Sam; hangs up) Excuse me. (Leaves)
(Agnes goes right back to beaming at Sam)
(Client Elaine Johnson has now asked for audio tapes of her lover and his wife. The detectives are driving in Maddie's car.)
David: Take it easy. I'll eighty-six Monique and take care of it myself.
Maddie: Oh no!
David: Oh no?
Maddie: Oh no. Who knows what Sam has in mind tonight, but whatever it is, I can't bear the thought that we'll be in the middle of it, and in you'll walk with some 'emergency' about some employee who needs a parking space closer to the elevator or a speaker phone on his desk.
David: That's not gonna happen.
Maddie: You're right, that's not going to happen, because I'm going with you.
David: Don't do me any favors, Maddie.
Maddie: I'm not doing you any favors, I'm doing me a favor.
Maddie: He's a nice guy, David.
David: I know he's a nice guy.
Maddie: He deserves better than this. I deserve better than this!
David: I don't know what you're talking about.
Maddie: You know what I'm talking about!
David: I do not know what you're talking about.
Maddie: Yes you do.
David: No I don't!
Maddie: Yes you do too, you're just jealous, jealous, jealous!
David: Jealous, jealous, jealous? Of who, of what?
Maddie: Of him, of me, of us!
David: 'Us'? Us, you're an 'us' now?
Maddie: Yes. No. I don't know! I don't know what we are, and I'm having a damn hard time trying to figure it out, because every time I turn around, there you are. And what the hell business is it of yours if I am an 'us'?
David: I work with you. I work with you for two and a half years.
Maddie: Yeah, and for two and a half years, you have worked, no, let's say slaved, to take nothing about me, my life or my business seriously! And now, all of a sudden, there's Sam!
David: Look, I like Sam!
Maddie: And that's another thing! I don't give a damn if you do like Sam! Sam likes you, you like Sam, who cares who you and Sam like?
David: Well, for what it's worth, I happen to--
Maddie: It's worth nothing!
(Another tense silence.)
Maddie: Okay, okay, what's okay?
David: I don't know, you're the one that's doing all the yelling.
(After talking to David about his drinking binge, but getting no real answers, Maddie goes to her office and leans back on the door)
Maddie (mimicking David's tone): Fine... 'A fine time was had by all'... 'A fine time was had by all'...
(Sits on couch; laughs skeptically)
Maddie: Herbert Viola. Now he wants me to believe he interrupted my dinner to talk to me about Herbert Viola. Fine... fine.
(Bert goes to Maddie's office to tell her about the previous night's surveillance work)
Bert: You ever done, like, seven pots of U-Ban at a sitting?
Agnes: You should have seen him this morning.
Maddie: David? I just left his office.
Agnes: No. When he got in, he was all dressed and shaved, like he wanted to make a great impression. But he was holding his head, holding his stomach... (Pause) I've known him for a long time, Ms. Hayes, and he's putting on a great act...for you. But something's making him crazy!
(As Sam and Maddie wake up together, at Maddie's house)
Sam: Sleep good? (Pause. Maddie is silent.) You going to be okay?
Maddie (slowly): Yeah, I'm going to be okay. (Pause.) Everything's going to be okay.
Agnes: There's no Monique. I'm Monique. Is there really a Sam?
Maddie: Yes, there's really a Sam.
Agnes: Is he really terrific?
Maddie: Truth is, Miss Dipesto, they're both really terrific.
David (in driver's seat of milk truck): Open bomb bay doors.
Maddie (going to rear door of truck): Roger! Bomb bay doors open!
David: Then fire at will. Or Alan. Or whoever the hell else you can hit!
Bert Viola: By the way, do we have any tomato juice?
Elaine Johnson: I'm sure you understand. Men are capable of making love with their bodies. We make love with our hearts.
The show opens with clips from the two previous episodes, punctuated by commentary from viewers who are interviewed on the street.
Music: "Stop! In the Name of Love" by the Supremes; "Someone to Watch Over Me" by Linda Ronstadt (from Moonlighting soundtrack); "Nowhere to Run" by Martha & the Vandellas
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