After David’s doomed quest to save Maddie from her planned decadence in “Blonde on Blonde,” and the sad mess at the dinner table in “Sam and Dave,” the focus shifts from the battle between the two men, to the woman they’re after.
Following the small war at the restaurant the previous night, Maddie wound up at home with long-lost boyfriend Sam Crawford, while David was left alone in alcoholic misery. Come the morning, it’s back to ‘normal’ for everyone. Or, pretending to be normal.
Herbert Viola is flush from the success of his surveillance assignment. He took photos and made sure there were enough to share with the class. (Ahem.) Maddie once again presses David for the news behind what exactly he felt so very bothered about yesterday that he had to come and bust up the dinner.
David slings a white fib about getting Viola his own detective license. Sure, that was what provoked the drunken collapse and emotional firestorm that everyone saw, but no one wants to talk about…and water goes uphill…
Maddie files this away in her “not buying it” drawer and retreats to her office. Agnes pops in for a chat.
As usual, you can’t put anything past the secretary. She cottons on right away to the fact that things are uncomfortable under the surface.
Maddie casually denies there could be anything wrong. Agnes knows better.
Dipesto makes it clear she sees David is putting on a front, so no one will know how much he’s breaking down. She suspects Maddie is doing the same thing, but Hayes once again will not admit it.
Then Maddie wanders, by chance, into one of the most stunning 'Freudian slip' confessions of the whole series.
Agnes had pretended, over the phone, to be David’s nonexistent girlfriend, Monique. Then she comes out with the truth: “There’s no Monique. I’m Monique. Is there really a Sam?”
Maddie: “Yes, there’s really a Sam.”
Agnes: “Is he really terrific?”
Maddie: “Truth is, Miss Dipesto, they’re *both* really terrific.”
Not only did Maddie just blurt out, without directly being asked, exactly what she thinks about David, but she puts him on an equal footing with Sam.
There’s still work to be done. The client, Elaine Johnson, suspects her lover, Alan McLafferty, really wants to go back to his wife. Although the detectives already have Bert’s photos to go by, Johnson is still not impressed. She says she needs to hear the man’s voice to tell if he has truly reestablished an emotional attachment to the Mrs.
All through the conversation, David shoots sarcastic looks at Maddie. Perhaps to see what she thinks of all this brazen talk about marriage, infidelity, true love and sex? But the camera rarely comes to rest on her; when it does, she maintains her gaze of concentration on the client. If it’s now David fishing for cues to the soul of his partner, she won’t budge.
Off in the car again, where Maddie insists on accompanying David on the new fact-finding quest. Sure as the sun does not rise in the west, part of the reason Maddie’s doing this is to show David she knows what he won’t admit, that there’s no “date.” She is cutting through his patent little lies like a hot knife through cake.
“I like Sam,” David begins.
Yeah, sure pal. Sure you do.
“Who cares who you and Sam like?” Maddie thunders back. It is the beginning of what she will reveal more of in the next episode—that she is deeply tired of being the third wheel in the upheaval between these two rivals.
Maddie understands that David is a lot more of a loner, and now a lot more interested in *her*, than he will say except under duress. Too prideful to cop to reality, David goes along with her plans.
Back to the office, where they encounter an unexpected guest. The man of the hour, Sam himself. Agnes gazes up at Crawford in adoration. David shoots him the most overwhelmingly fake hello gestures you will ever see in your life. A few hours ago, these men wanted to kill each other. I don’t think now it’s any different. But for the sake of the lady involved, they keep their mouths shut and focus on the task at hand.
Please note: the bash mark on David’s right forehead, which he was dealt in the flying encounter with the trash bin two nights previous, is nearly gone; meanwhile, Sam’s left-side shiner lingers on, from the time he fended off the aggressive mook in the parking lot. This is not a coincidence.
Herbert bravely catches the phone call intended for Agnes. With a steely-eyed glare directly at Sam, Viola fumbles the message, then wanders off to safety.
The boys pretend to laugh.
Maddie’s interruption, “I had a nice time too,” brings the conversation to a screeching halt. Agnes whispers one more little vision of joy before Sam and Maddie head off to Ms. Hayes’ office.
Where they kiss. Only, there is a pause in between.
Now, do these look like real lovers, where they even have to ask?
“Are you honest? Are you fair?”
But let’s keep to the question at hand.
Sam mutters something about how this is the place where “most people prefer to keep their private life…*private*.”
We can instantly see that Sam is as mad as it gets over the intrusion. Nevertheless, he covers up quickly. He claims he hasn’t been thinking very much about the epic destruction that rained down after the battle with Mr. Addison. Maddie tries the same line. Sam gamely kids her as to how they would get back to the idyllic state that had been enough for the two of them before. Maddie says there’s nothing different; Sam, we can bet, knows the excuse.
David complains about the work for tonight. Is Maddie really okay with this? According to her, yes, but it doesn’t ring very true…
Oddly enough, David is the one who pleads sorrow on behalf of the leftover wife; you would think he’d be skating away without a care, but no.
Anyone surprised to find Addison a loyalist toward marriage, the old traditional security, can be forgiven their dilemma when he trails off the end of this conversation as just the happy ‘delivery boy,’ not much more to say than ever.
Yeah, sure. And I’m Saint Nicholas.
Cut to Sam, languishing in Maddie’s fancy but empty house. He’s fixed a dinner, but the lady in question is late to hear him speak.
Finally Ms. Hayes comes in.
And she looks like she didn’t want to deal with this…
So who’s the real deal? Is *anybody* being honest at this point?
Sam went to the enormous trouble of fixing an elaborate dinner, and keeping it warmed up through the small hours. He even offers to run her a hot bath. Overwhelmed at all this, Maddie doesn’t quite know what to make of it.
So Mr. Crawford tries to settle the issue for her.
Thenceforth, a very important question. Ordinarily Maddie would have been overjoyed. Now, however, for some reason this is not so easy to take. Maddie defers response and, without Crawford’s knowledge, goes to meet the other man in her life.
David lives in a bachelor pad. No, let me start that again. He lives in a place that can barely be called “indoors.” When Maddie arrives, David hauls out a trunk as a makeshift chair. They sit down and Maddie begins to tell him her tale of woe. Half of it, anyway.
“David, what are we going to do?!”
“I don’t know, there’s always the bedroom—it was a joke, *bad joke*,” Addison flubs.
It was once said that when people talk about the weather, they really mean something else.
Let’s just say Maddie is talking about the weather.
She sobs, “But you and me—you and me—what are we going to do?” and leans on David’s chest. He wraps his arm around her shoulder.
They draw back—into a slow, gentle kiss...And so on, to the 'real' world.
It looks as if Mrs. McLafferty could not handle her despair and said goodbye to the cruel world. David won’t let Maddie go back and look at the scene.
The cops take care of procedures. The gumshoes figure out a little more. The woman, who had supposedly shot herself, was perfectly composed—even to the point of her makeup not running.
To Maddie, who knows a thing or two about makeup, that makes no sense.
They had seen *a* woman get shot—but was it the one to whom they’d been talking before?
The detectives rush back to the scene. They look around the house, only to find unwanted guests: that not-so-dead person and her beau.
Maddie and David rook the only available transportation, a milk delivery van, in the name of justice and scoot off in pursuit.
Cue “the truck scene.” Which any t.v. fan has, for about 20 years, been ready to recite from the get-go…
“Or Al, or whoever the hell else you can hit!”
The chase leads them to—sure, why not—a bowling alley. Chaos ensues, as the gumshoes and criminals duke it out up and down the lanes. Finally the evildoers are cornered, and the detectives can go home happy with a case safely finished.
The night having once again worn itself to the nibs, it’s going on sunrise. Maddie and David stroll up the block away from the lanes. They’re quite content with themselves, until Maddie remembers one thing.
Her would-be fiancé is still alone.
And that’s how Sam wakes up, gazing across the pillow to see—nothing.
He calls for her…no response.
Where could this all be leading?
When Maddie heads home, trust…the day ahead is not going to be one to forget.