Muppets Tonight

Season 1 Episode 3

Billy Crystal

Aired Friday 8:30 PM Mar 22, 1996 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Bobo: (To Sal) Hold it up there, Jay Fred Muggs. Where do you think you're going?
      Sal: This is Johhny Fiama. He's booked on tonight's show. So GET OUTTA THE WAY, Smoky the BUTT-HEAD.
      Bobo: That's one. Lemme check my list here. Let's see, we have Johnny Depp, Jonnhy Ola. Larry King....whoa. So he was on the list.
      Sal: Hey come on, come on. Ya got Johnny Fiama waiting over here. He is a very important performer. So hurry up, Yogi the...the BUTT-HEAD.
      Bobo: That's two.
      Sal: Listen to me, bear. You let Johnny Fiama in...OR I'M GONNA MAKE A THROW RUG OUTTA YA AND PUT YOU IN JOHNNY'S BATHROOM. YOU, YOU, YOU GRIZZLY...
      Bobo: Butt-head?
      Sal: YEAH.
      Bobo: And that's three. (puts his list on the counter, grabs Sal by his neck and drags him to the back) Come 'ere, you little miserable monkey.
      (All this time Johnny Fiama was reading the schedule)
      Johnny: Hey, Sal. I just checked the schedule. I'm not even on the show tonight, huh?. Heh, ain't that a laugh?
      Sal: (Bobo is slamming him repeatedly on the counter) HUH? Yeah yeah yeah, that's funny, Johnny.
      Johnny: 'Ey come on, Sal. Don't fooling around with your new buddy. Let's get outta here, huh?
      Sal: Johnny Fiama is leaving the...(Bobo throws him out into the street with one hand) BUILDING.
      (A car's tires can be heard skidding on the road)
      Johnny: Hey, Sal. That is one naughty way to stop a cab. (laughs)

    • Clifford: Our guest this evening is a funny man. Yet a humble man. A comedian who doesn't let stardom go to his head.
      Billy Crystal: (impatient) Introduce me already.
      Clifford: (offended) All right.

    • Clifford: Okay, Bobo, this is your first day on the job. Now tell me what you are and what you're suppose to do?
      Bobo: Sure. Um. (reciting) I am the security guard. My job is to keep unwanted, and/or suspicious characters from entering the premises.
      Cliford: Good. Now how do you know they can enter?
      Bobo: Oh, good one. Um...I sniff their musc-glands. And if the scent is familiar, I let them in.
      (Clifford stares in the direction of the camera completely dumbfounded, then stares at Bobo)
      Clifford: NO, MAN, YOU CHECK, THE LIST.

    • Bobo: Hello! If your name is not on the list, you don't get in.
      Clifford: Hello. If my name is not on your paycheck, you don't get paid.
      (Bobo stares at Clifford for a moment)
      Bobo: Have a good day, sir.
      (Clifford walks in)

    • Rob Reiner Muppet: The next one that calls me Meathead is gonna get it!

  • Notes

    • Clifford's intro: "Welcome to Muppets Tonight, the show critics everywhere are calling 'Muppets Tonight'."

    • Sam the American Bald Eagle brings back his editorial with Randy and Andy Pig now as continous guests throughout the series. Poor Sam.

  • Allusions