Muppets Tonight

Season 1 Episode 4

John Goodman

Aired Friday 8:30 PM Mar 29, 1996 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Kermit: Hey, there, Nigel. How's it goin'? Huh?
      Nigel: Well, John Goodman just fell out the window, Clifford is tryin' to get a bear trap off his head, THE PRODUCER'S CACTUS GOT AWAY, AND THERE'S NOBODY ON STAGE TO INTRODUCE JOHNNY FIAMA!!
      Kermit: Gee. Sounds like a slow night.

    • Alf: One of these days, Alison, BANG!! ZOOM!! RIGHT TO THE EARTH!!!
      Alison: That would be my first trip since our honeymoon.
      Alf: Ha-dee-ha-ha!

    • Alf: What are you tryin' to do, Newton? Gimme a heart attack?!
      Newton: Take it easy, Alfie-boy! Hey! I just came down to give you the tickets ya wanted. You know, to the Space Cadets' Ball.
      Alf: Aw, that's great, Newton. You're the best pal a guy ever had. Alison's gonna be so surprised!
      Newton: Hey, sure, Alfie-boy. I got 'em right in my vest. Right-here-a-rooney, ha-root-a-doot-doot...!

    • Stagehand: Hey, Mr. Goodman. Welcome back to the show.
      John: John. John.
      (he takes a seat on the couch)
      John: Yeah, it's great to be back on Roseanne. Those Muppets drove me crazy. Could someone get me a coffee, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
      (Andy and Randy enter)
      Randy: We'll get it for you, Master.
      Andy: Yeah. We work on this show now.

    • Andy: You keep forgetting things, like this.
      (he exposes a live grenade from John's previous sketch)
      John: Oh, no, you idiot! That's a live grenade!
      Andy: A what?
      John: A live grenade!
      Randy: A WHAT?!
      John: (covers his ears) A LIVE GRENADE!!!
      Randy: (as the grenade explodes, causing John to hit the ceiling) THANK YOU, GUYS!!!
      John: I'm, uh, not relaxing.

    • (after the blast)
      John: Everybody okay?
      Rizzo: Hey, Sarge, take a look at Indiana.
      John: (sees Indiana in halves) NO!!
      Indiana: Sarge, you told me you was gonna get me home in 1 piece!
      (John laughs)
      John: I was way off on that one! Huh? But don't worry. I'll get a message to that girl of yours, Jill.
      Indiana: Oh, forget Jill. Get a message to that steak. Tell 'er I... I couldn't think of a steak joke.

    • John: Hey, Clifford, the ig-pays are a little upid-stay.

    • John: 'Don't look good, fellas. The enemy cheese has us surrounded. RATS!
      Rats: Yes, sir!
      John: No, no, no! I meant... Shoot!
      (the rats fire wild shots into the air)
      John: No! No! No! Darn! And if anyone of you clowns pulls out a pair of socks, I'll slug ya!
      (a slug comes by)
      Slug: Did someone say "slug"?
      John: (shoves the slug away) Get outta here!

    • Statler: Well there you go. There's nothing like good comedy.
      Waldorf: Nothing like it on this show!

    • Dr. Phil Van Neuter: Two letters, that's it? (Mulch mumbles and growls) What do you mean the rest were for you? You can't even read!

    • John Goodman: All things considered, this is one of the worst experiences I've ever had.
      Clifford: That's what all our guest stars say.
      John Goodman: Well, at least you're consistent.

  • Notes

    • Clifford's intro: Welcome to Muppets Tonight, the show that has families all around the world saying...
      (cut to a family watching the show)
      Family: I don't get it.
      Family dog: Oh, I do. You see, they're making fun of all of you, and... uh... oh, never mind...

  • Allusions