Mike: Andy's new bed is unbelievable. It's literally like sleeping on a cloud.
Kenny: It makes me like myself more.
Andy: It's as soft as Swedish astronaut skin.
P.J.: Meredith's story is really simple. She's married to my brother. She completely dominates his life and according to Andy, she's the Wicked Witch of the Midwest.
Andy: What am I, a heroin addict? How am I supposed to sleep in the chair?
Mike: I can get you a blanket. Come on, we're not cavemen around here.
(On the sports talk show)
P.J.: He puts the lotion in the freaking basket.
(While shopping for a mattress for Mike's apartment)
Mike: Come on man, this just seems so unnecessary.
Andy: I'm weird. I'm one of those people who don't like to sleep in a chair.
P.J.: (Talking about her jacket) Does this say, 'Hi, I'm P.J. I know sports.'
Stephanie: Actually it kinda says, 'Hi, I'm P.J. I'm the number one real estate agent in Lincoln Park.'
P.J.: Number one, huh?
Stephanie: It's not a compliment.
Stephanie: The good news is, we're going to Italy in the fall!
Stephanie: And the better news is, if we buy now we can get two for one tickets! One for us and one for our boyfriends.
P.J.: Why don't the two of us go just you and me?
Stephanie: Cause I don't want to go with you.
Stephanie: Okay! I've got good news and even better news!
P.J.: I will take the better news.
Stephanie: I have to give you the good news first otherwise it doesn't work.
Ian Gomez received the "And" credit.
Brendan Smith, who co-wrote this episode, is a close friend of Betsy Thomas, the series creator, and is the inspiration for the character of Brendan Dorff.