Earl J. Hickey
Kevin the Hornman
Introduced in this episode
#86 Stole a car from one legged girl.
#204 Seduced seven virgins.
#275 (new) Never bought Randy a Ferrari. (Added by Randy when Earl was in a coma)
#276 (new) Never told chicks Randy was a fighter pilot. (Added by Randy when Earl was in a coma)
Crossed off in this episode
#86 Stole a car from one legged girl.
"Country Roads" sung by Alyssa Milano (Billie sings in the shower)
"Sell Out" by Reel Big Fish (Billie tortures Randy)
"I Know A Little" by Lynyrd Skynyrd (Earl visits his mother for advice)
"Jingle Bells" (Earl's mom sings as they are about to go caroling)
"Get On The Good Foot" by James Brown (One legged Earl)
Earl: Hey, Catalina. When I saw you at Club Chubby at Christmas I was a pig, right? And I slapped your butt cheek?
(Randy replays the moment fondly in his mind.)
Catalina: Yeah! Hard enough to leave a mark. When Santa came I couldn't even sit on his lap, and he's a BIG tipper!
Billie: Look, Earl, I'm sorry I've been a little stingy with you. It's our money. Here's an ATM card so you don't have to ask me for it any more.
(Randy has a sudden epiphany moment.)
Randy: Ahhhh! There's a special card you have to put in.
Didi: I want you to hop a mile in my shoe.
Randy: Sometimes I wish Karma could talk. It'd take a lot of guesswork out of what we do.
Joy: That's it, Earl. I'm done waiting for you to put my house back. I was walking past our ceiling fan which is now on our wall and it lopped off one of my pony tails.
(She shows Earl her left pony tail in her clenched fist.)
Joy: You owe me 25 bucks!
Earl: (Narrative) ... our annual family portrait ...
(Flash back to a photo shoot with the Hickey family, they're all dressed in white. Earl & Randy's mother, Kay, gets off the phone.)
Kay: There's an emergency down at the framing shop. Apparently all the 5x7 frames came in 7x5s. Father's going to be there all night. We're going to take the 'White Picture' without him.
Young Earl: Can my gerbil be in the picture?
Kay: (Exasperated) Is he white!?
(Randy observes Billie eating a Klondike bar.)
Randy: Can I have a Klondike bar? Please?
Billie: That depends. (Sings) What would you do for a Klondike bar?
(Randy thinks for a moment, then makes like a chicken and clucks.)
Billie: Nah. Seen it.
Earl: Listen. I need to ask you a marriage question. How do you handle being married to someone who's difficult?
Darnell: Try this.
(Darnell retrieves a notebook from under one of the couch cushions.)
Darnell: I just write down everything Joy does that bothers me. Most psychologists will tell you to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of confrontation. These are individuals I call 'People Who Have Not Met Joy'.
(Joy then crawls through the tipped-over trailer door.)
Joy: Earl!! You gotta put this trailer right side up. I've got so many bruises by climbing through this door I'm like a woman in a Lifetime movie.
Earl: I'm gonna do it, Joy. I just need to figure how to get some money from Billie to rent a crane.
Joy: One way would be to grow some 'nads. Speaking of bein' 'nadless ... Darnell, are you showin' Earl your poetry book?
Darnell: Uh, yeah. We were havin' a poetry slam.
Joy: Let me read one.
(Joy grabs notebook from Darnell and reads from it.)
Joy: Today she hit a new low.
Joy: Got mad cookin' dinner and threw the chicken on the lawn.
(Earl's eyes go wide with fear while Darnell closes his eyes with fear.)
Joy: Once again I see why everyone in our trailer park despises her and wishes we would move.
(Joy thinks about it for a moment, then chuckles to herself.)
Joy: That's a terrible poem, Darnell. It don't even rhyme.
(Earl and Darnell relax a bit.)
Joy: Hey, remember the time I threw a chicken on the lawn? You should write a poem about that, but make it rhyme.
(Joy scoffs at Darnell, gives him a condescending smile as she hands his notebook back to him and walks off. Darnell turns quietly to Earl after Joy leaves the room.)
Darnell: Did you pee a little?
Darnell: Me too!
(Darnell is trimming the grass that is growing through one of the tipped-over trailer windows. Earl climbs through the tipped-over trailer door.)
Earl: Hello? Crabman?
Darnell: Hey, Earl.
Earl: I really am sorry about this whole trailer thing.
Darnell: Ahh! Don't sweat it Earl. I kinda like it. Besides, with the grass growin' on the floor, Mr. Turtle has his own little park.
(They both observe Mr. Turtle enjoying his tiny patch of grass.)
Earl: Huh! Never seen him wag his little tail before.
(Earl takes two tissues out of the box to blow his nose.)
Billie: Hey, whoa whoa whoa! How many tissues you got there?
Billie: How many times are you gonna blow your nose?
Billie: You might want to check your math, Mr. Rockefeller.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Earlovy ženy (Earl's Women)
Original International Air Dates:
Australia: July 10, 2008 on Network 7
Denmark: July 11, 2008 on TV3+
United Kingdom: August 7, 2008 on Channel 4
Belgium: June 17, 2009 on 2BE
Czech Republic: July 6, 2010 on Prima COOL
Randy: You should just cut her head off like that King of England dude.
Randy is referring to King Henry VIII of England. He was married six times; two of his wives, Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard, were executed by beheading.
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