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Earl J. Hickey
Earl doesn't cross anything off his list in this episode.
"Rump Shaker" by Wrecks-N-Effect (Joy is drunk and Darnell makes his move)
"Black And White" by Three Dog Night (Earl goes back to the wife and kids)
Carl: What are you doing here?
Earl: We moved back in, Mom said it was cool.
Carl: No, no it's not cool. Kay?
Earl: Her and Randy went to pick up a bucket of chicken. She said she was going to get all white meat to make me feel better about my situation.
Carl: You can't just move back in, we don't have the room. Where are your kids gonna sleep?
Earl: I don't have any kids.
Carl: But where's you wife?
Earl: Still at the hospital. Probably starting to figure out I left her cheating ass. That or she's banging an Asian doctor trying to get one of everything.
Randy: He back on the fence.
Earl: (tugs on a rope and Dodge falls) Sorry buddy, we'll put a mattress there tomorrow.
Joy: Don't worry, those huggies are padded.
Earl: What are you doing in bed?
Joy: Waiting for you to get home to give me my Thanksgiving stuffing.
Earl: Really? Alright, it's been a while.
Darnell: (to Joy) I don't like having sex in a walk-in freezer! It's cold in there and we still get sweaty. Last time, my balls got stuck to a keg of beer.
Darnell: What if the real daddy can't? What if things are complicated with the real daddy right now? What if Joy doesn't seem to love the real daddy anymore and the real daddy's fiscal instability, volatile living conditions and possible secret identity doesn't lend itself to creating an environment that is conducive to raising a child right now?#
Randy Are all those words English...or are you making them up? because I made up a word last week, farnicerous. I don't know what it means yet.
Earl: At least the first 'illegitimate' child was the same color as me. We could all walk through the mall together and pass for a family. Now everyone's going to stare. I'm a clown, Randy. I'm damn clown.
Randy: But people like clowns. Hey wait a sec, if we all painted our faces like clowns all the time, no-one would ever know Earl Jr. wasn't yours. Can we? Can we paint our faces like clowns?
Earl: Randy, we're not painting our faces like clowns. People will still stare...and if it rained we'd be screwed.
Joy: I got hemorrhoids
Kay: Oh,Oh, you poor thing. Oh, I had those so bad with Randy. I thought his foot was coming out the back door.
(looking under the hood of his car)
Earl: We're out of anti-freeze.
Joy: How did you forget to put in anti-freeze?
Earl: How do I forget to put in anti-freeze?! How do you forget to put a damn diaphragm in before you go to a Ronnie James Dio concert?!
Joy: I swear to God, if that thing don't stop cryin, I'm a put him in a gunny sack and smack him up the side of a barn.
(Randy looks towards Joy, shocked)
Joy: I'm just blown off steam. If you tell the cops I said that, I swear to God I'll tie you up behind my car and do doughnuts in the mall parking lot.
Carl: (to Joy) So...Who is the father?
Joy: Oh, I didn't get a name. You know how crazy concerts are.
Joy: Darnell. You're gonna have to pick the kids up from school.
Darnell: Baby, I'm trying to pick all the broken light bulb out of the gumbo. Why can't you do it?
Joy: I am growing a human being in my body cell-by-cell. I need my rest, Darnell. My stomach could be building his brain today, you don't know.
Joy: Yes, sweetie?
Earl: Earl juniors...Earl juniors is a little dark.
Joy: Maybe the cord was wrapped around his neck. Sometimes they get a little blue.
Earl: No, no, his darker than blue. He's...black.
Joy: Oh my God! I have read about this. This can happen when a man has a repressed black genie in his body. I bet your great, great, great grandmother snuck out to the barn and let a slave get a few licks of his own if you know what I'm saying.
Nurse: Excuse me?
Joy: Oh, it's alright I can say that, I just had a black baby.
Joy: Take me to the bed or lose me forever!
Earl: Really? Alright! (talking to Dodge) Sorry buddy, it's been a while.
Earl: I'm not doing it.
Mr. Hickey: Yes, you are!
Earl: Says who?
Mr. Hickey: Say's me! I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago, and forcing you to stick with something! Now go take care of your family!
Earl: What happens if I don't?
Mr. Hickey: I'll do something.
Earl: What? What are you gonna do, Dad, spank me? I'm not seventeen anymore.
International Episode Titles:
Czech Republic: Kdopak se to narodil (Who Was Born)
Original International Air Dates:
Czech Republic: November 17, 2009 on Prima COOL
This episode was nominated for the 2007 Emmy Award for Outstanding Single Camera Picture Editing for a Comedy Series.
Guess Who's Coming Out of Joy
The title of this episode is a nod to "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" a film in which a white couple (Spencer Tracey and Katharine Hepburn) is surprised when their daughter introduces them to her fiancé, a black man (Sidney Poitier).
Joy: Alright, fine. So we'll just wait until this place closes and you can do me on the pinball machine like in that porno Jodie Foster did.
"The Accused" based on the real life March 6, 1983 gang-rape in Big Dan's Bar in New Bedford, Massachusetts. Jodie Foster won the Best Actress Oscar and Golden Globe for her role as the rape victim.
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