My Name is Earl

Darnell: Dang it, baby, I can't! When I was Harry Monroe, I had to give up everything because of what I knew. And I didn't care. But if I tell you my secret now, I could lose everything again, and this time I do care! Because I love you! I can't start my life over again without you! Don't you understand? I can't tell you the truth because I love you too much, stupid! (Joy walks out of view of the window) Joy! Joy: (from the front of the trailer) I love you, too, stupid.

Catalina: You can't do this to me, Earl. You can't screw up my only chance to cross something off your list and get a good feeling. I need this in my life! I scrub toilets all day, and at night I dance for drunk losers who flick nickels at my ass. I'm going crazy! I need to feel good about something before I kill someone again!!! (long, awkward pause) What? Randy: You said you were gonna kill someone. Catalina: It's a figure of speech. "I'm gonna kill someone." Earl: Yeah, but you, uh...you said "again." Randy: You did, you said "Kill someone again."

Randy: When you go into the Witness Protection Program, do they let you pick your own name? 'Cause if I ever witness anything, I'm going to name myself "Crash Fistfight." Darnell: Damn. That's a good one.