My Name is Earl

Earl: (to Randy) If we don't figure out a way to break into that impound yard and get my money, we're gonna have to eat that potato.

Joy is sitting in the loan office when a black man walks in) Loan Officer: So, they tell me you're looking for a loan? Joy: Yeah! You know what I left something in the car, I'll be right back. (she returns with Darnell) We only need the money for like, an hour or two. (whispers to Darnell) Say something black.

Darnell: Hey, baby. Joy: Darnell, what are you doing here? I told you to wait in the car. Darnell: It's hot out there. Joy: Baby, I'm trying to get a loan here, okay. Look, you know I don't see color, but these people are never gonna give me three thousand dollars, if they see me here with a black man. (Darnell, walks off angry) Darnell, it's not me, its America. I don't make the rules.

Earl: (thinking) I knew neither Joy or I could come up with three thousand dollars without selling a kidney. So, I concentrated my efforts on getting to the car. Randy: I don't know Earl, maybe we should think of another way. I mean electricity hurts. Earl: I used to sneak my car out of here all the time. They only turn this thing on at night. (Earl cautiously touches the fence) See. Come on, let's get that money. (when they climb to the top of the fence the impound guy turns on the electric fence)

Impound Guy: What's up with the football? Randy: I play for NorthWestern high. I'm gonna score a touchdown. Impound Guy: What are you in the seventeenth grade?

Earl: (thinking) I knew I could pay em if I could just get to the car, but these aren't the kind of guys you want to let know that you have change in your ashtray, much less a hundred thousand dollars under your front seat.

(Darnell is picking up cans by the side of the road, when Joy pulls up in the car) Joy: You can stop now. That stupid guy at the recycle centre only gave me eight dollars for that whole cart full of cans. Darnell: We'll never make enough money this way. Joy: You think?

Earl: Are you sure you can fit into the trunk? Bruce: I've seen him fit into lots of trunks. Kenny: (giggling, taps Bruce) Oh, stop it. Bruce: (taps Kenny) You stop it. Kenny: (taps Bruce) No, you stop it. Bruce: (taps Kenny) You stop it. Kenny: (taps Bruce) You stop it. Bruce: (taps Kenny) You stop it. Earl: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why don't we all stop it, okay? Let's shut down the horseplay.

Principal: Transfer student, huh? Old man: I travel a lot for work.

Earl: Thanks for doing this Kenny. Kenny: Are you kidding. Thank you for helping me come out of the closet. I didn't realise there were other people like me. I've worked with Bruce, for years and didn't know.

Earl: Where's my grandfather's cuckoo clock? Joy: I pawned it. Earl: What? Joy: What do you think, cigarettes grow on trees?

Earl: Where's my car, Joy? Joy: Oh, I had it towed. Earl: Towed? Joy: Yeah. Maybe if you gave me some of that lotto money, I'd find more things to do. Earl: (voiceover) It was at that moment I realized Joy had no idea that the money was in the car. Randy: Hey, Earl! Joy had no idea all your lotto money was in the car!

Randy: Are you sure you wanna get Grandpa's coo-coo clock back? That thing almost put my eye out. Earl: Well you shouldn't have been so close, you knew what time it was.

Earl: As for my plan, the Trojan horse was on its way, but only instead of a horse stuffed with a bunch of Greeks we had a LeCar stuffed with one tiny gay.

(To Darnell while looking at Joy's posterior) Banker: Nice pool, brother. Darnell: Right on.