Earl J. Hickey
"Ain't No Easy Way" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"25 Miles" by Edwin Starr
"Joy" by Harry Nilsson
"You're My Best Friend" by Queen
"Rock and Roll Part II" by Gary Glitter
The top magazine in the pile Crabman sets down at the beginning of the episode is called "Classy Ass".
Then Joy says, "it's missing the February 04 from the stack..." - Jaime Pressly posed for Playboy Magazine in February 2004.
Randy: You know I love Darnell, but if it'll get this guy outta our lives maybe we should consider... killing Darnell.
Earl: Randy, we're not killing Darnell!
Philo: (to Earl) I usually obey the law, but what are they going to do, give me a ticket when I'm dead?
Philo: (to Earl and Randy) Hey, why don't you guys come in and watch my old wrestling tapes from high school. I wasn't on the team or nothing but me and my sister had some really close matches.
Joy: Hey, do me a favour? Put your hand on my leg right here and just rub it around. You like that darling? I shaved above the knee today.
Philo: This is so much better than a doll.
Earl: Hey Crabman, need a few beers.
Darnell: Sorry, boss said I can't serve you til you fix that pipe in the bathroom, it sprays people when they flush. Luckily, only a few people have flushed so far.
Earl: Hey Crabman, I was looking to have a word with Joy.
Darnell: Hey Earl, come on in. We're just fighting. Joy's jealous.
Joy: I'm not jealous. You're the one that should be jealous, I can't even walk down the street without guys offering to do me.
Darnell: I take that as a compliment. I don't get jealous.
Joy: That's a lie, everybody gets jealous. Hell, even frogs get jealous. I saw that on tv. That's what all that croaking's about.
Earl (thinking) You may think me asking my ex-wife for help was crazy. But, sometimes, you have to fight crazy with crazy.
Joy: (to Darnell) Victoria Secret is just as bad. Just cause they're classy doesn't mean they're still not whores. (throws the magazine in the trash)
Catalina: Excuse me, I'm hot.
Philo: You're okay, but, compared to my girl you look like on of those things from Lord of the Rings that crawled out of the ground and attacked the castle.
Catalina: This uniform is not flattering. You should see me in jeans and a bra.
Earl: Catalina, I need to ask you a favour? I got this guy who needs something to live for.....
Catalina: I'm not sleeping with that man.
Earl: No, no, of course you're not. Just make out with him a little.
Catalina: No thanks. I can smell him from here.
Earl: That's a real interesting birth mark you got on the back of your neck.
Philo: My mom hit me with a curling iron because I spilt cereal on the carpet. It didn't even have milk in it.
Earl: So, your mom wears her hail curly, huh?
Earl: Why do you want to kill yourself?
Philo: Because, I don't have a job, I don't have any friends, I live in a trailer with no heat, I fail at everything and my feet hurt.
Earl: You ever tried wearing different shoes?
Earl: What are we supposed to do? Just stand here and watch him get run over?
Randy: No I don't wanna see it. But if we get in our car and hear a thump and a scream? That's none of our business.
(Philo says he has to go tinkle)
Randy: Tinkle? That's so stupid. I wonder what he calls going ploppies?
Philo: I thought we were on a date.
Joy: It was a date, but not all dates are good ones, honey. Sometimes it ends up with your sweetie doin' a black man in the bathroom.
Earl: I just can't walk away from the guy.
Randy: Then let's run, Earl. Let's run away from him. We can make it a race. It'll be fun.
Randy: You're breathing loud.
Philo: It's because you made me use toothpaste. It makes the sores in my mouth sting.
Joy: You that weird guy who like to watch me take my underwear off?
Philo: One of them. Yes ma'am.
Earl: (to Joy) I heard you're wearing underwear again. Good for you.
Earl: You can't date Joy, she's married.
Philo: I know she's not happy. She's always yelling at her husband.
Earl: Oh, that's her happy. She's just a bitch.
Earl: You like Joy?
Philo: Joy? Classy name for a classy lady.
Earl: (to store clerk) I-Pod, huh? Is that some kind of space capsule?
Randy: (to Earl) Are you going to start helping people that aren't on your list? Cause, if you do, you'll never finish and get back to stealing.
Earl: You don't really understand my list, do you, Randy?
(Philo sneezes in Earl's face)
Earl: You know, most people cover their mouths when they do that.
(Philo is lying in the street and a truck is coming)
Randy: It's okay Earl, the carpet will protect him.
Earl: I have this list....
Philo: And, you want me to give you a dollar, right?
Joy: Darnell, I don't know why you'd want to look at Miss February anyway, when you got all this right here?Darnell, you better look at my boobs when I'm talking about them.
Earl: What you doing Crabman?
Darnell: Joy found my stash of classy ass, and she's making me get rid of them.
Randy: Man, that's a lot of classy ass. I bet it's more than the President has?
The Czech episode title is "Mít pro co žít", meaning "Have Something To Live For".
Original International Air Dates:
Czech Republic: September 30, 2009 on Prima COOL
Randy: Ewoks! Those are called Ewoks.
Randy confuses the orcs of the Lord of the Rings trilogy with the small furry Ewoks from the Star Wars movie Return of the Jedi.
Philo: Compared to my girl you look like one of those things from the Lord of the Rings that crawled out of the ground and attacked the castle.
This is in reference to the movie trilogy where a young hobbit inherits a magic ring that he has to destroy to prevent it from reaching the hands of evil Lord Sauron, who wants to use the ring's power to control and enslave the people to Middle Earth.
Randy: ...and when there was only one set of footprints, God was carrying you to be screwed by thieves.
This is a reference to the poem "Footprints in the Sand", written by Mary Stevenson. In the poem, a man is walking with God wondering why, when things were bad, God left him, evident by only one set of footprints during that part of his life. God replies that in those times, he was carrying him.
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