My So-Called Life

Season 1 Episode 19

In Dreams Begin Responsibilities

Aired Thursday 8:00 PM Jan 26, 1995 on ABC
out of 10
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78 votes

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Episode Summary

Jordan asks Brian for help on winning back Angela's affections; Sharon and Rayanne reach a turning point in their relationship; and Rickie learns that the new girl has a crush on him.

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  • The series finale of a fantastic show that unfortunately ended in a semi-cliff hanger that will never be answered... ever.

    Everybody's dreaming about somebody. Angela's dreaming about Jordan Catalano. Her mother is dreaming about her old boyfriend and Delia the new girl is dreaming about Rickie. Do dreams really tell us something? Meanwhile, when Rickie finds out that Delia the new girl likes him, he suddenly gets this brainwave; this could be the part where he can turn straight. And like... girls. Brian looks at him crazily, and i do the same. But when he confronts Delia, she calls him out and stunned by this revelation of hers, he realises that he is what he is and finally admits it. You can all guess what 'it' is. Jordan wants Angela back, and in a crazy twist of character, he's the one trying to talk to her and get her attention, not the other way round. He wants to tell her how he really feels, but because he's hardly ever in class, doesn't know how to do so. See? school really does pay off. Anyway, he cracks Krakow into writing a letter for him and when Angela gets it, she thinks Jordan is some closet poet. Which he isn't. And Brian is kicking himself when he sees Angela fawn over the non-sentence forming Jordan. But has he learnt his lesson? No, he writes another letter through Jordan, and Angela gets pulled in deeper into this wordy lie.

    But thankfully, Rickie tells Angela that Brian has been the one writing all those letters. "Say what?" Angela says to herself. And then she confronts Brian and realises something, but what that is, we never know, because she jumps in a car with Jordan and drives off into the sunset, or whatever. Even 12 years later, people are still tossing up whether she chose Jordan or Brian. And that just goes to show, how much of an impact Angela's so-called life had with us.moreless
  • Jordan seeks Brian\'s help in getting back Angela. Graham cooks dinner for the investers as he and Halley get closer. Rayanne and Sharon become friends. Rickie admits that he is gay.moreless

    I think that it\'s too bad that they cancelled this show. Even 12 years after it has gone off the air, it is a show that everyone can relate to. It definitely was ahead of its time by having a gay character, and the character struggling with his sexuality.

    Obviously this wasn\'t a season finale because the producers of the show thought that there was going to be a second season, that being said I still think they could have fixed things anyway.

    From the beginning, I never liked Jordan Catalano. He was just too dumb and Angela seemed too smart to like someone like him. The only reason she could like him was because he was pretty. They never had intelligent conversations because most of the time they were making out. I didn\'t like at the end of the episode that she just took him back after what that letter said. It didn\'t really make any sense, they weren\'t really together in the first place, but I guess since she was so infatuated with him it didn\'t matter in the end.

    Poor Brian, he has been in love with Angela since they were kids, and this was a perfect opportunity for them to kiss, and then Jordan shows up. This is the part that frustrates me the most, that there was no wrap up, just the question \" Who would Angela have ended up with?\" Which will never be answered. I think that ABC should do a TV movie to wrap up the show even though its been years since its been on the air. They could reunite all the characters and see what everyone has been up to. In my humble opinion, I think that Angela should\'ve ended up with Brian.moreless
  • Angela has dreams about JC. Jordan finally apologizes with Brians help. Sharon & Rayanne share a moment as do Rickie and Delia. Rickie admits he is gay -outloud for the 1st time. Angela almost kisses Brian but then goes in the car with JC.moreless

    The episode begins with everyone having dreams about one another, hence: the title. Anyway, in this episode (which was clearly not meant to be a series finale) Jordan actually manages to make emotional progress. You see him at least trying to express his feelings for Angela, and I should say, for the first time throughout the show, you realize that he really likes her- in fact he maybe even loves her.

    Of course it would not be a full episode without Patty and Graham having a little mini-drama of their own on the side. Graham almost cheats on his wife- again- but he holds back. And Patty lies about meeting with her high school boyfriend for dinner. I have to say, as bad as I feel for Brian Krakow, he just needs to learn to say no to people, period. However, the letter he writes for Jordon really is a very nice letter and it makes you feel really bad for him. Rayanne finds a friend in the most unexpected person it seems- Sharon. (Maybe those two have more in common than they tought after all?)

    All in all, it was a good episode but I must admit, it ends without any semblance of a resolution, and in that way it seems consistent with life. However, tv-oholics usually prefer endings that are more clear. So in that sense the episode can be viewed as a disappointment by many. After all, we dont know whether Angela is gonna choose Brian or Jordan Catalano. And since a second season is not in the making, I guess that part is left to our imagination. I guess those who picture themselves in Brians shoes will imagine she broke up with Jordan in the car and came back for Brian... And those who see everything through Angelas eyes as hopeless romantics will believe that she gave him a last chance and this time Jordan came through and did not disappoint her.

    The truth is, I am too cynical at this point to believe in either of the two scenarios. Whoever she chooses, she will be disappointed again. But I will admit, the ending, although pretty bleak and unclear, ends on a sort of romantic and optimistic note- so even if it is for a split second, you get the feeling that no matter what happens next, it is going to be a good thing.moreless
Jeff Perry

Jeff Perry

Mr. Katimski

Guest Star

Senta Moses

Senta Moses


Guest Star

Lisa Waltz

Lisa Waltz

Hallie Lowenthal

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (5)

    • Brian (writing a love letter on behalf of Jordan): Dear Angela, I know in the past I've caused you pain and I'm sorry. And I'll always be sorry 'till the day I die. And I hate this pen I'm holding because I should be holding you. I hate this paper under my hand because it isn't you. I even hate this letter because it's not the whole truth. Because the whole truth is so much more than a letter can even say. If you want to hate me, go ahead. If you want to burn this letter, do it. You could burn the whole world down. You could tell me to go to hell; I'd go, if you wanted me to. And I'd send you a letter from there. Sincerely, Jordan Catalano.

    • Angela: In the dream I keep having about Jordan Catalano, I'm trying to catch up with him... but it's hard, because there's something wrong with the floor
      [shows shoes glued to the floor]. Sometimes my father's there. Sometimes my great Aunt Gertrude's funeral kinda gets mixed in with it. The end of the dream is always the same. I catch up with him. I yell and scream -- how he hurt and betrayed me, how I can never forgive him. He just stands there, like someone caught in a storm who's stopped caring how wet he gets. Then I wake up. The storm of words still pounds through my body.

    • Angela (about the love letter): Well, it's obviously a total lie!
      Brian: No, I meant every word. I mean, the person who wrote it meant every word...
      Angela: Brian?
      Brian: I didn't write it!

    • Jordan (about getting Angela to forgive him): I was so close yesterday, but it wasn't enough. She was, like, starved...or something.

    • Rickie: I really think that we'd be good together.
      Delia: Okay. But, hm, you're gay, right?
      Rickie: Yeah, I'm gay. I just don't usually say it like that.
      Delia: And how do you usually say it?
      Rickie: I don't usually say it. I mean, I've actually never said it...out loud.

  • NOTES (4)

    • Winnie Holzman dedicated the script: "To the brilliant, beautiful cast and crew" and added a Shakespeare quote: "How far that little candle throws his beams" on the first page of the script.

    • German episode title: "Jeder wird mal erwachsen" (Everybody grows up sometime)
      French episode title: "La lettre" (The letter)

    • Although the series was short-lived, My So Called Life won a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a TV Series - Drama. It was also nominated for 4 Emmy Awards: Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series, Outstanding Individual Achievement in Writing for a Drama Series, Outstanding Individual Achievement in Main Title Theme Music, and Outstanding Individual Achievement in Directing for a Drama Series.

    • The final scene is similar to the Pilot's final scene where Angela leaves Brian on the street.


    • Patty: And suddenly, I realize, there's someone there. And it's Princess Diana.

      Diana, Princess of Wales, was the first wife of Charles, Prince of Wales. After their divorce, she was killed tragically in a car accident in 1997.

    • Delia: I was wearing this dress
      I saw on The Nanny.

      The Nanny was a 90s sitcom about a Jewish girl from Queens becoming a nanny for a rich man's kids.

    • The love triangle shown in this episode between Angela, Jordan and Brian alludes to French dramatist Edmond Rostand's most successful work, "Cyrano de Bergerac". This play, first published in 1897 and loosely based on the real life of the eponymous character, tells the story of a poet from the 17th century who is madly in love with the beautiful Roxane. Much like Brian is forced to lend his eloquence to Jordan so he can win Angela's heart in the show, Cyrano in the play writes passionate letters to his beloved, signed by the name of Christian de Neuvillette, a more handsome but less articulate man with whom Roxane is already in love.