My Wife and Kids

ABC (ended 2005)


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Episode Guide

    • Let Them Eat Pie
      Season 2 - Episode 8
      After playing a game where Claire eats Michael's pie he gets his revenge by only letting them eat pie. Also Michael doesn't plan on sticking to the promise he made to Jay.
    • Diary of a Mad Teen
      Season 3 - Episode 5
      While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary hidden under the mattress. She can't resist the temptation of reading it and is quite shocked to learn that her daughter is thinking about taking the next step with Tony. Meanwhile, Michael is scheduled for an appointment with the eye doctor even though he insists there's nothing wrong with his sight. He decides to have Jr. drive him there so he can test his driving abilities for an upcoming date with a girl. All Kady wants to do is play hide-and-seek...moreless
    • Table for Too Many (2)
      Season 2 - Episode 17
      The concluding chapter in Michael's disasterous evening where things don't get better as the family they have to sit with are the wrong side of annoying.
    • Table for Too Many (1)
      Season 2 - Episode 16
      Michael is forced to take the family out for a meal but really begrudges it as it will cost him a lot of money. Michael gets ever more annoyed as they keep spending money on nothing and when the service is poor, Michael has had enough...
    • Claire's New Boyfriend
      Season 3 - Episode 6
      After Michael admits liking Claire's boyfriend, Tony, she dumps him. The poor kid is devastated, and since Michael likes him so much he decides he's going to help Tony win Claire back – especially after seeing her new boyfriend, Jason. Meanwhile, Jay refuses to admit she looks like Jr.'s drawing of her. Instead, she believes she looks more like Halle Berry.moreless
    • The Whole World is Watching
      Season 2 - Episode 10
      Jay buys Jr. computer appliances (including a 24-hour broadcast webcam), and Michael protests saying he'll only use it for porno instead of studying. They start to fight over who's in charge, and make up on Jr.'s room, unaware that they're being seen through Jr.'s website by the entire world. The next day, Jr. discovers what his parents did, and seeing the unlimited reach of the internet, Michael decides to use it for promoting his business.moreless
    • The Kyles Go to Hawaii (1)
      The Kyles Go to Hawaii (1)
      Season 3 - Episode 1
      The Kyles are leaving for their family vacation on Hawaii, but instead of taking only one flight straight to the island, Michael thought it would be a good idea to make a quick tour around the country, so they make stops at New York, Chicago, Denver and other cities before they get to Hawaii (two days later).moreless
    • He Heard, She Heard
      Season 2 - Episode 6
      Claire asks her parents to go to a party, but Michael won't let her. Jay thinks he should trust his daughter more, so he lets her spend the night over at Erica's. When he picks up the phone, he ‘accidentally' listens to Claire's conversation, where she says she'll fool Michael and go to the party. Michael sets up a scheme to catch her, but Kady overhears it. Claire bribes her sister so she'll page her when Michael leaves the house, but Claire isn't the only one who can bribe...moreless
    • The Bowling Show
      Season 2 - Episode 26
      The Tylers and The Kyles go at it in a game of bowling. All this is going on during Star Trek night. Junior meanwhile develops a crush on the Tylers' daughter and can't work up the courage to ask her out.
    • Get Out
      Season 2 - Episode 14
      Michael is on a mission — to get his notoriously late family dressed and ready to go to a wedding in 15 minutes, but everybody has some sort of problem that keeps them from getting fully ready.
    • Learning to Earn It
      Season 2 - Episode 12
      Michael decides to teach the kids how to handle money due to their inability of spending their allowance money wisely. He proposes that each kid comes up with their own business, and at the end of the week he'll double whatever profit they make.
    • Papa Said Knock You Out
      Season 2 - Episode 20
      Michael freaks out when he spots a grey hair, but not on his head. He feels he's getting too old, and decides to practice boxing again to get in shape. He even teaches Jr. some tricks and some punches, until Jr. knocks Michael out, giving him a black eye. Meanwhile, Claire is ready to go on her first date with Tony, and Jr. mishears their conversation and thinks they're having sex.moreless
    • The Kyles Go to Hawaii (2)
      The Kyles Go to Hawaii (2)
      Season 3 - Episode 2
      Michael and Janet decide to go out on a romantic dinner, leaving their kids all alone. Claire and Jr. fight over who'll have to stay in the room babysitting for Kady, but Claire lets her brother get out of the duty, after all it's not often he gets a date. Kady and Claire decide to spend their times on the hotel's spa, while at the dinner table Jay and Michael both struggle to say no to the temptations they meet – a female underwear model and a male chest/abs model. When they go back to the hotel, they find their three kids resting peacefully so they decide to extend their night at the beach, celebrating their second honeymoon.moreless
    • Sister Story
      Season 3 - Episode 9
      Michael's sister Kelly is coming over for the weekend, which freaks Jay out because every time Kelly comes over she overstays her welcome and always gets on Jay's nerves. Things heat up when Kelly brings up Sharon, Michael's old girlfriend and Kelly's best friend...
    • Double Date
      Season 2 - Episode 18
      Claire wants to go on her first date with Tony, but Michael is reluctant to let her. So he decides he and Jay should also go with them to the movies so they can check on Tony. Meanwhile, Jr.'s at home babysitting for Kady and decides to take advantage of her.moreless
    • The Kyles Go to Hawaii (3)
      The Kyles Go to Hawaii (3)
      Season 3 - Episode 3
      A mad scramble ensues when Michael finds out that the family's flight home from Hawaii leaves much earlier than he thought, but matters are complicated when a love-smitten Jr. insists on staying with his new love, Leilani. Meanwhile Kady refuses to leave without her beloved doll, Little Pippy, and Claire has to go to extremes to keep her parents from finding out about her exorbitant hotel charges.moreless
    • Jay Gets Fired
      Season 2 - Episode 9
      The girls' trip to Jay's work isn't quite what they expected but this works out well for Michael.
    • The Fighting Kyles
      Season 3 - Episode 8
      Sick and tired of listening to their kids fights, Michael and Jay act like they are fighting themselves so Jr. and Claire can see how annoying it is and quit it. But the three Kyle children get the wrong idea and think their parents are splitting up, and try their best to bond them and end the fake fights.moreless
    • The Sweet Hairafter
      Season 4 - Episode 2
      Michael meets his friend Jimmy at the golf club and is impressed with how much hair he's grown with the help of some "miracle" pills called "Come Hair Now". As he starts to take them in overdose, weird stripes of hair rise from his chronically bald head. He also starts to get paranoid that Jay is trying to kill him after they take out life insurance. Meanwhile, Kady becomes very jealous of Claire when she volunteers to be on the big sister program.moreless
    • Not So Hostile Takeover
      Season 3 - Episode 25
      Claire comes home with the exciting news that she was invited to senior prom. Jay is excited about it and volunteers to chaperone at the dance, in order to keep Claire safe from her date, a senior quarterback. Meanwhile, Junior falls into another one of Michael's plans once he tries to teach him a lesson about money management.moreless
    • Samba Story
      Season 3 - Episode 4
      Tired of the same dinner-and-a-movie routine, Jay convinces Michael to take dancing lessons to spice up their relationship. When they get there, only more problems waits for Michael. Meanwhile, Claire's accepted into the cheerleading squad, but won't believe she only got in for her looks and not for her talent.
    • Jr. Gets His License
      Season 2 - Episode 27
      Michael is stopped by a cop while giving Jr. a driving lesson and it seems that Michael's license has expired. So father and son must both take a driving test.
    • The 'V' Story
      Season 5 - Episode 26
      Now that the kids are almost out of their hair, Jay insists that Michael have a vasectomy so they can feel free to enjoy themselves, but Michael is reluctant to go through with the operation.
    • Here Come Da Judge
      Season 3 - Episode 20
      When Jr and Claire find a lost wallet containing $500, it's time for a session of "family court" to decide who gets the money which ends up getting brought to the police department out of guilt. Meanwhile, Claire's boyfriend Tony induces her to become a vegetarian.
    • Jr's Risky Business (2)
      Jr's Risky Business (2)
      Season 3 - Episode 18
      After walking in on Jr. and his girlfriend having sex on his bed, Michael decides that he and Junior can no longer live under the same roof and throws his son out. Feeling sympathetic for her baby, Jay opposes to Michael's attitude, but at the same time agrees the boy needs a severe punishment. She makes Jr. stay in a tent in the backyard until she can cool things down with Michael...moreless
    • Letting Go
      Season 2 - Episode 11
      Kady has acquired a hamster and Claire has a crush on a boy named Tony. Both developments pose parental challenges for Michael and Jay. The hamster dies and Michael wishes Claire's new beau would follow suit.
    • Pilot
      Season 1 - Episode 1
      Michael Kyle has been used to having his wife at home, taking care of him and the kids. Now that Jay wants to put her college degree to work, he has trouble accepting the fact that she wants to return to work. Meanwhile, Claire gets carried away with the eyebrow tweezers.moreless
    • Crouching Mother, Hidden Father
      Season 3 - Episode 7
      Jay volunteered to be the director for Kady's kindergarten class play, but due to illness she is forced to step away from the production, leaving it all on the hands of Michael. Michael allows the children to make any changes they want on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, and the result is a very successful – and very weird – play.moreless
    • Road Trip
      Season 2 - Episode 15
      Jay organizes a historic trip to Paul Revere's house for the entire family to learn more about American history. She even packs colonial food (which Michael hates) to give it an extra touch. Michael, unlike Jay, isn't so excited about spending a long time with Jay and Claire in a car. The reason? They're both on that time of the month, which spells trouble!moreless
    • No Rules
      Season 2 - Episode 3
      Michael abandons all house rules after the kids moan which means they must fend for themselves which they initially think is a good idea but not all goes as planned.
    • Jr. Kyle, Boy Genius
      Season 2 - Episode 23
      After receiving Jr.'s SATs score results (a perfect 1600), the Kyles believe they have a genius in the house and start treating him more respectfully. Meanwhile, Jay asks the girls what they to be when they get older. Claire wants to shop, and Kady wants to be an officer, so she starts practicing it around the house.moreless
    • Thru Thick and Thin
      Season 2 - Episode 5
      Jay returns home from taking care of her mom's injury, and she's put on a few pounds after eating mom's home cooking. Michael doesn't know how to 'diplomatically' tell his wife that she's packing a little bit extra. The episode builds to a dream sequence, in which Janet imagines that the entire family is tremendously overweight.moreless
    • From Dummy to Daddy
      Season 4 - Episode 1
      After hearing the shocking news that their son Junior is going to become a father, Michael and Jay freak out. They try to talk with him and help him realize he can't support a family living in their garage and having no job, so Michael offers him a job at his firm. Meanwhile, Tony feels guilty about having spicy thoughts about Claire and Franklin is still out for Junior's spot on the Kyle family.moreless
    • Anniversary (2)
      Season 2 - Episode 29
      The anniversary day finally comes and Michael goes out to play golf, leaving Jay devastated at home. Later, she goes out for drinks with her girlfriend Wanda, who insists Jay should confront Michael. When she gets home, she starts to punch him with the Ali signed boxing gloves she bought for Michael, and he reveals he was just faking it all along with Wanda's help. He gets down on his knee and proposes to Jay. They have a vowel renewal ceremony with the presence of Brian McKnight and renew their vowels and reaffirm their love for each other.moreless
    • Grassy Knoll
      Season 1 - Episode 3
      Jay is trying to get rid of some old clothes, so after Michael opposes to that she and him make a deal that everything that is not worn by the end of the week has to go. Meanwhile, Junior is trying to learn how to play the guitar and his friend convinces him to smoke pot. Kady gets angry at Claire for avoiding her.moreless
    • A Little Romance
      Season 1 - Episode 10
      Michael's brother Ken comes to visit and brings his newest girlfriend. Michael envies his brother because his own sex life became a little boring - Jay keeps asking for more spontaneity and Michael doesn't know what to do. Meanwhile, Claire is worried about winning a dancing contest. She's not satisfied with Jr. being the only one with trophies to show around, and despite her father's dissatisfaction with her dance moves, she manages to get a second place - which is not exactly what she hoped for.moreless
    • Working Relationship
      Season 2 - Episode 22
      Jay's feeling bored ever since she was fired. She can't think of anything else to do around the house, and won't let Michael watch the Jordan game until he hires her as the new accountant at his firm. What comes as a great idea for Jay turns out to be a nightmare for Michael, because Jay wants to turn his morning ritual into running errands; takes over his office and gives the employees way more breaks than they should get. Meanwhile, Claire tries to show Kady that E.T. is not so scary.moreless
    • Jr. Executive
      Season 4 - Episode 3
      Michael wants Jr. to learn the family business by starting at the bottom, so he assigns Jr. to do menial jobs around Kyle Trucking. Jr. however, decides to use the fact that he's the boss' son to his advantage and convinces other employees to do his work for him. Elsewhere Claire arranges a secret date with a guy she met on the Internet in a Shakespeare chat room.moreless
    • Mom's Away (2)
      Season 2 - Episode 2
      The pregnancy test was Charmaine's, who is thinking about running away from home. Thanks to Michael's advice on teen parenting, Charmaine decides to talk to her parents about it. Meanwhile, Michael tries to prove to Jr. that his friends are not as friendly as he thinks. Also Michael carries on with the story on Kady's birth.moreless
    • Breaking Up and Breaking It
      Season 1 - Episode 9
      Claire develops her first real crush on a boy, and Michael does everything to break them up. He takes a different approach by becoming friends with him, to the point where the boy wants to spend more time with Michael then with Claire. After Claire dumps him, Jay makes Michael dump him too. Ever since his hormones kicked in, Jr. spends most of the day in the bathroom, until he "breaks" his toy and has to take some time out.moreless
    • Michael's Garden
      Season 2 - Episode 7
      Michael has been having problems in the bathroom trouble so has to have a colonoscopy and his troubles aren't eased when he has a strange dream about what may occur...
    • Back Story
      Season 2 - Episode 24
      When the kids tease Michael about getting old, Michael pretends to have hurt his back in a game of Twister so they will have to cater to his every whim. Later Jay finds out about his antics and plays a practical joke back on Michael.
    • Of Breasts and Basketball
      Season 1 - Episode 4
      Michael doesn't take it well when he loses at basketball. Meanwhile, Claire thinks the best way to attract boys is to have bigger breasts, so she buys a padded bra, much to the dislike of Jay who punishes her for doing so.
    • Claire's Permit
      Season 3 - Episode 21
      Claire has taken her driving permit, but Michael won't lend her the car because he doesn't think she can drive very well. Nevertheless, Claire steals the car keys thinking if she goes out really quick while her parents are gone they will never notice. Unfortunately, she drives by them on her way to meet her friends, and Michael decides to teach her a lesson the Michael Kyle way: stealing the car and making Clare feel guilty about it.moreless
    • Snapping and Sniffing
      Season 1 - Episode 7
      Jr. is having problems at school with a bully, so Michael and Janet invite his parents over to discover some of the kid's weak points. Jr. teases the kid back and Claire punches him in the nose making Jr. is feeling humiliated. Meanwhile, Michael tells Janet she is not around enough, and she starts to realize that when she misses Kady's first tooth and her new "smell the cushions" thing.moreless
    • Fantasy Camp
      Fantasy Camp
      Season 5 - Episode 2
      Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.moreless
    • Jay Goes to School
      Season 4 - Episode 4
      Jay decides to go to college and get her psychology degree, which Michael fully reprehends her for. He doesn't want her to put the household second because it would jeopardize the entire family and eventually could ruin their marriage. After going to a real psychologist, Michael and Jay come to terms and she agrees to scale back her classes as he decides to let her pursue her dream. Meanwhile, Junior's friends turn his old crib into some sort of vehicle.moreless
    • Class Reunion
      Season 5 - Episode 4
      Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off...
    • Perfect Dad
      Season 2 - Episode 4
      The kids complain that Michael is being too strict since Jay left, so they call for a family meeting where they all discuss the way they think the family should be, with no repercussions. Jr. thinks having a rapper for a dad would be cool, Claire thinks the perfect dad should be the manager of the country's #1 boy band, and Kady thinks Michael should be a big blue dragon (much like TV's Barney). Michael shows them how these versions could go wrong, and shares his thoughts of perfect children.moreless
    • Return of the Wall
      Season 2 - Episode 21
      Jay is coaching Kady's soccer team but the girls complain it's not any fun and Michael tries talking to Jay about it. He ends up taking over coaching the team and promises to make it fun for the girls. Jay breaks the news that she's been asked to coach another team, and they'll be playing Michael's on Saturday.moreless
    • Graduation (2)
      Graduation (2)
      Season 3 - Episode 27
      Junior finally graduates, and his parents give him a trip to Japan as a gift – and as a way to separate Junior and Vanessa, who are planning on moving in together and getting married as soon as they start college. Both Kady and Clare admit their sadness on Junior leaving, and Michael and Jay feel proud of having raised a semi-successful child. They go out to relive some of their memories and when they come back late at night they find Junior and Vanessa sitting in the kitchen...moreless
    • Working It
      Season 1 - Episode 6
      Michael hires an attractive girl to tutor Junior in math and later regrets his actions. Also, Jay doesn't like the direction her relationship is going with Claire who is turning into a typical teenager.
    • Jury Duty
      Season 3 - Episode 19
      Michael and Jay are asked to serve jury duty together. Michael's elected foreman and wants to move on the trial quickly so he can get home to watch the Godfather marathon on TV. But Jay won't vote guilty because she thinks there has to be a debate first. Thanks to that, Michael has to rent the videos and at the store, he meets an insurance salesman whom he mistakes for a mobster, and is convinced that the mob is after him due to the case.moreless
    • Jr. Sells His Car
      Season 4 - Episode 16
      Jr. restores his prized 1964 Impala, but then he and Vanessa surprise everyone when they decide to sell it in order to have money for their new baby. Meanwhile, Franklin seeks advice from Michael on how to act more like a normal kid.
    • Man of the Year
      Season 3 - Episode 16
      Jay nominates Michael for the "Small Businessman of the Year" award and he assumes he's going to win it. Meanwhile, Claire helps herself to items from Jay's makeup bag once too often and ends up grounded.
    • The Truth Hurts
      Season 1 - Episode 2

      Junior gets some tattoos. Meanwhile, Kady and Michael stop speaking to each other when he doesn't let her sleep over at Melanie's.

    • Making the Grade
      Season 1 - Episode 5
      Jr. gets an F in Algebra and forges it into an A. Claire finds out about it and soon starts to blackmail Jr. so she won't tell their parents. But Michael and Janet are smarter than that and decide to teach Jr. a lesson by "toying" with him. After numerous attempts, Janet decides to take her own action to get it out of Claire...moreless
    • Make Over
      Season 2 - Episode 25
      Jay and Michael are grocery shopping when they run into Susan Green, former cheerleader from their highschool. Susan is in great shape, which makes Jay feel ugly and inadequate like she did back in high school. Jay feels depressed and Claire talks her into getting a makeover to boost her self-esteem. Meanwhile, Junior gets himself locked in a girl's locker after a misfortunate attempt to steal her bra.moreless
    • He Said, She Said
      Season 1 - Episode 8
      Jay wants Michael to quit watching TV and spend a little more time with the family - something that apparently only she wants. But Michael insists on watching a basketball game. When Jay talks to him, he doesn't pay any attention and later Jay repays the favour. When the evening comes and they are ready to go out for dinner, Jay apologizes for not paying any attention and they decide to leave the kids alone. But will they pay any attention to their parents?moreless
    • Jr's Dating Dilemma
      Season 3 - Episode 10
      Michael decides to help Junior on his women approach techniques, seeing that his son has absolutely no clue on how to behave around women. Meanwhile, Jay freaks out about her dream of Michael and Janet Jackson having an affair.
    • Anniversary (1)
      Season 2 - Episode 28
      Michael and Janet's 15th anniversary is approaching. Jay's girlfriend Wanda brings her Brian McKnight's tickets (a concert Jay was really looking forward to see), but unfortunately she has to turn it down because it's on the same night as their anniversary. Wanda says Michael will forget about it, but Jay refuses to believe in that and even has the kids spy on him to find out if he's secretly planning something.moreless
    • Jay the Artist
      Season 3 - Episode 11
      Feeling that she has no space and time of her own due to home duties, Jay decides to paint. The result is a portrait of Michael based on Michelangelo's David, which makes Michael feel a little bit "diminished". They start an argument over it, which ends on Michael finally agreeing on letting Jay show her work at a friend's art gallery – with a "big" change, that is. Meanwhile, Michael renews acquaintances with old buddy Steve, while the kids are encouraged to develop their artistic abilities as well. Claire designs clothes, Kady plays the piano, and Junior writes some bizarre poetry.moreless
    • R.V. Dreams
      Season 5 - Episode 25
      Michael, who is determined to make record time driving from Connecticut to the Grand Canyon in a luxurious R.V., convinces his reluctant family to make the road trip so they can spend quality time together in the R.V. Along the way, Michael puts the family through many misadventures including getting lost and in his haste neglects to read one of the R.V. manual's most crucial operational features.moreless
    • Restaurant Wars
      Season 5 - Episode 8
      At first, Michael is skeptical that Jay can be successful at opening her own soul food restaurant. But his competitive and supportive sides emerge when the Hoos, the owners of the Chinese restaurant across the street, use sneaky tactics to put "Jay's Soooooouuuul Kitchen" out of business.
    • The Maid
      Season 4 - Episode 26
      While Jay is away at a seminar, Michael hires a maid, Mrs. Hopkins, to look after the family. Mrs. Hopkins fulfills their every need and want to a sweet perfection, including homemade ice cream, an immaculately clean house and handmade outfits for Claire. When Jay comes home, she appreciates Mrs. Hopkins' attention to every detail, but begins to feel that perhaps she has taken over just a bit too much.moreless
    • He's Having a Baby
      Season 4 - Episode 6
      Worried about Junior's fathering skills, Michael decides to enroll him in a parenting course. Junior is reluctant to attend, so Michael gives him a water balloon that Junior should keep for a week as if it was the baby. If it breaks, he'll have to attend the course. Michael doesn't let Junior have it easy, and Junior insists that more than wanting to teach him how to be a good parent, Michael doesn't have any trust in him.moreless
    • Open Your Heart
      Season 3 - Episode 13
      Jay decides to attend an "Open Your Heart" seminar for struggling couples, even though she and Michael are happier than ever. At the seminar, they are teased against each other and stop talking to one another. Meanwhile, Michael wants his children to learn the value of money and tells Jr. to start his own business selling monkeyfish like he did. Jr., instead of the monkeyfish, decides to get 100% refunds on the clothes Claire buys with a 40% discount at the store she's working. When Jr. gets caught, Claire gets fired and Michael punishes him by making him wear the clothes he wanted refund.moreless
    • Of Mice and Man
      Season 4 - Episode 13
      When Jay finds mouse droppings, she demands that Michael hire an exterminator to get rid of them, but, as usual, Michael is determined to handle it himself. Meanwhile, Claire is also freaked out by a rodent when she accidentally runs over a squirrel while driving home.
    • Mom's Away (1)
      Season 2 - Episode 1
      While Jay is away taking care of her mother who broke her leg, Michael is left in charge of the house and the kids. They all miss their mother, and nothing Michael does seems to be as good how Jay did. Jr. wants to join the basketball team. Michael doubts he'll make it, but when he does Michael has other problems to worry about: Jr.'s friends, who seem to be using him. Meanwhile, Kady is cranky and not even Michael's efforts to make cookies just like her mother's are working. Trying to get a smile from her, he starts to tell her how she was born. Claire's friend Charmaine is spending the night over. But the two have bigger worries when a pregnancy test comes out positive.moreless
    • Moving on Out
      Season 4 - Episode 14
      Tired of living in the garage, Jr. looks for an apartment and enlists his buddy, John, to be a co-signer… except that John has to dress up and pose as Jr.'s grandmother for the realtor. When Jr. and Vanessa's families come to visit the couple's new apartment, Jay is shocked to find that her new grandchild might be living in a run-down building with yellow police tape around the entrance.moreless
    • Child-care Class
      Season 5 - Episode 3
      Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, so Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him baby-sit his grandchild for the rest of the week.
    • Jr's Risky Business (1)
      Jr's Risky Business (1)
      Season 3 - Episode 17
      As a very impressed Michael sees it, his son's girlfriend, Vanessa is an absolute prize: "She's beautiful, smart, personable and polite... you guys have nothing in common," he tells Jr. But there's something about her that rubs Jay the wrong way. Elsewhere in the courtship department, Kady's similarly smart and personable gentleman caller is a budding piano prodigy named Franklin. As for Claire, all she's courting is a severe case of nerves: the PSATs are coming up and her face has broken out in hives.moreless
    • The Fellowship of the Baby
      Season 5 - Episode 5
      When an overwhelmed Jr. thinks he is not smart enough to take care of his own son, Michael tells Jr. that "Jr., Jr." is a "magic baby," and that every time he holds him, it will make Jr. smarter. The ploy works, but in the process Jr. becomes somewhat arrogant with his new-found knowledge, so Michael brings Franklin in so that the two geniuses can match wits. Meanwhile, Kady catches Claire sneaking back into her bedroom after hours and threatens to tell their parents, unless Claire does some favors for her.moreless
    • Michael's Tribe
      Season 3 - Episode 14
      Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Claire and "the new Tony" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a 'rave' which all goes horribly wrong and Claire gets grounded for her actions.moreless
    • The Return of Bobby Shaw
      Season 5 - Episode 9
      Michael's enemy Bobby Shaw, tricks Jr. into signing a contract making Jr. his slave for the rest of his life! When Michael tries to get him out of the contract, they end up in a rap dance off. Claire and Jay battle it out for the affections of their Yoga instructor.moreless
    • The Big Bang Theory
      Season 3 - Episode 24
      Michael and Jay panic when Claire reveals that she and Tony have decided to have sex. Her parents try by all means to change their minds and stop them.
    • Blackout
      Season 3 - Episode 15
      Michael wants some time alone in the house and makes a deal with Jay for her and the kids to get out of the house. He has to pay for Claire to agree on going to the mall and is forced to watch The Little Mermaid with Kady for the hundredth time. He switches the movie to Gremlins, which scares the death out of the poor girl, and when the power goes off Claire freaks out about losing her entire work on the computer. In the end, the power failure ends up bringing the Kyles closer together.moreless
    • Candy Wars
      Season 4 - Episode 15
      When Kady wants to spend some quality time with her father, she enlists Michael's help in the school candy drive. But when the father of last year's winner claims he can prevail once again, a competitive Michael loses sight of helping Kady and commits to selling an exorbitant number of chocolate bars.moreless
    • The Proposal
      Season 5 - Episode 7
      Jr. is finally ready to propose to Vanessa, but every time he tries to do so, something interrupts him, including Michael and Jay - who are preparing to compete against each other in a karaoke competition.
    • Michael's Band
      Season 4 - Episode 11
      When Michael's old friend and former bandmate, Johnny "Saxophone" Watson, comes to town for a gig, it turns out Johnny's piano player can't make it. Michael eagerly accepts an invitation to take the man's place, but refuses to admit that his musical skills have got rusty. Meanwhile, love is blind when it comes to Franklin realizing that his little sister, Aretha, is a much better singer than the tone-deaf Kady.moreless
    • The Baby (2)
      The Baby (2)
      Season 4 - Episode 30
      Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.
    • Calvin Goes to Work
      Season 4 - Episode 23
      When Calvin, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.moreless
    • Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
      Season 1 - Episode 11
      Michael's accountant dies suddenly, making him take a whole new perspective about his life. He buys a wig (or a hair piece as he like to call it) and starts to demonstrate his love for his family in a weird way. He even buys a motorcycle and an RV, in a misguided effort to live life to its fullest.moreless
    • They Call Me El Foosay
      Season 5 - Episode 12
      When Vanessa innocently buys Jr. a foosball game, Jr. discovers his competitive nature and becomes obnoxious when he wins. When Michael challenges Jr. and wins, he initially wants to teach his son a lesson about being a good winner. But then when Michael continues to win, his "fatherly lesson" goes out the window and instead he becomes obsessed with playing foosball. Desperate, the Kyles have to come up with a plan to break the game's hold on Michael.moreless
    • My Wife and Kids: Access All Areas
      Trouble presents an all new 'Access all Areas' for My Wife and Kids.
    • Careful What You Wish For
      Season 5 - Episode 11
      When Jay wishes that Michael would give her the kind of romantic attention that she sees newlywed Vanessa getting from Jr., Michael decides to kill Jay with kindness so he can get back to watching TV and ignoring her. Meanwhile, Franklin tells Kady that he thinks he's too short and goes to great lengths to appear otherwise.moreless
    • Failure to Communicate
      Season 2 - Episode 19
      Michael's parents come to visit him, but Michael is worried about the way they treat each other and how that is reflecting on his own children. After a disastrous attempt to fix things, Michael and Jay finally decide to let things the way they were. Meanwhile, Jay and Michael worry about Jr.'s rush to have sex and his new girlfriend.moreless
    • The Lady Is Not a Tramp
      Season 4 - Episode 12
      Michael's imagination takes off when he finds a package of condoms in daughter Claire's backpack — the same day her boyfriend, Tony, is returning from a month in the desert. Annoyed that her father is jumping to conclusions, Claire decides to give him a taste of his own unique brand of discipline. Meanwhile Jr. accidentally gives Kady his pet dog's medicine — and Kady pretends to turn into a dog.moreless
    • The Baby (1)
      The Baby (1)
      Season 4 - Episode 29
      Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.
    • Calvin Comes To Stay
      Season 4 - Episode 22
      Calvin, Vanessa's gregarious father, has an argument with his wife, Jasmine, gets kicked out of the house and moves in with the Kyles, against their wishes. When he starts eating everything in sight and keeps everyone awake with his loud snoring, a frustrated Michael comes up with a clever plan to get Calvin back home.moreless
    • The Wedding
      Season 5 - Episode 10
      Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to get married in two weeks, Vanessa having told Jr. that she wants a small, simple wedding. Michael and Jay offer to help plan it, but instead of something simple and sweet, they plan an elaborate and expensive ceremony that includes dolphins, a castle, and 751 guests. Frustrated, Vanessa tells Jr. he needs to regain control of things, forcing him to decide whether he should stand up to Michael.moreless
    • Michael Joins a Gym
      Season 5 - Episode 19
      The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favorite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews), who doesn't look any older than when Michael last saw him. He enlists Darryl's help to get him back into shape and, in the process, becomes obsessed with looking fit and buff. Meanwhile, Franklin fails his first test and fears that Kady will no longer accept him.moreless
    • Pokerface
      Season 5 - Episode 6
      Michael advises Jr. that it's ok to spend some time away from Vanessa and the baby, but his advice misfires when Jr. invites Jay along to their all-male poker game. Michael decides, in turn, to crash Jay's all-female book club, where they're discussing the latest book by Angeline Boudreaux.
    • Graduation (1)
      Graduation (1)
      Season 3 - Episode 26
      Jr.'s graduation is coming up, and he breaks the news to his family that he wants to go to college. At first shocked, Michael decides to help him make a good impression. Meanwhile, Claire wears a blonde wig to call her parents attention, thinking she has been forgotten now that Jr. is in the spotlight. Franklin applies for the soon available 'son' spot in the Kyle family.moreless
    • While Out
      Season 4 - Episode 10
      Much to Claire's delight, Michael and Jay forget to recite their house rules — "No friends, no fires, no freedom, no fun" - before going out for the night. As a result, Claire decides to throw a party so she can get in with the so-called right crowd. Things get raucous when someone spikes the punch and a drunken Tony fulfills a fantasy and streaks down the street naked.moreless
    • Romantic Night
      Season 4 - Episode 24
      Wanting to spend quiet time together, Michael plans a romantic evening with Jay at an exclusive hotel. Then, when Jr. mistakenly cancels the reservation, Michael tries to create a romantic night at home. But things take a disastrous turn when Michael hurts his head trying to shut off the water valve, Jay handcuffs them to each other – but can't find the key – and a burnt roast almost causes the house to burn down.moreless
    • The Bahamas (2)
      The Bahamas (2)
      Season 5 - Episode 17
      While at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for a family vacation, lovebirds Michael and Jay find themselves stranded on the isolated Magic Island - along with a rapidly rising tide -- and the only other person there who can help them is Michael's talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy - who refuses to do so since they weren't willing to spend time with him when they had the chance. Meanwhile, Jr. leaves Vanessa and the baby behind so he can enjoy the resort's activities; Tony and Claire hang out at the beach bar and she realizes too late that her island drink contains alcohol; and Kady and Franklin run into his nemesis, Francesco Mumfordi, who has stolen one of Franklin's theories.moreless
    • The Director
      Season 4 - Episode 25
      In his excitement to tape a basketball game, Michael accidentally records over a home video of Kady's first steps, which happens to be one of Jay's most cherished family moments. When Jay decides to have a family home movie night, Michael must act quickly and enlists Franklin's help to reenact that moment of Kyle family history.moreless
    • The Funeral
      Season 4 - Episode 7
      The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his "Grammy" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song for the last time.
    • Quality Time
      Season 2 - Episode 13
      Jay is annoyed with Michael who feels that after spending time with her, he's entitled to some alone time - an opinion shared by the marriage counselors they end up seeing. Meanwhile, Jr. wonders why Claire suddenly wants to hang out with him and his friends.
    • Sweetheart's Day
      Season 5 - Episode 14
      When Jay insists that Michael buy her a present for "Sweetheart's Day," a reluctant Michael comes up with a scheme to base the price of Jay's gift on her attitude towards him at a particular moment. He shares his plan with Jr., Tony and Franklin, hoping that they will follow his lead, but it leads straight to trouble.moreless
    • Empty Nest (1)
      Empty Nest (1)
      Season 4 - Episode 20
      During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.
    • Michael Sells the Business
      Michael Sells the Business
      Season 5 - Episode 24
      With a lucrative bid from a large company offering to purchase Kyle Trucking, Michael convinces Jay that, if they sold their business, they'd be able to spend more quality time with Jr., Jr. and watch him grow up - something they wish they could have done more of with their own kids. But the offer goes bust and Michael's nemesis, Bobby Shaw, comes up with a surprising proposal. Meanwhile, Kady and Claire antagonize each other over who gets to spend more time in the bathroom.moreless
    • Meet the Parents
      Season 4 - Episode 5
      Vanessa's parents come over the Kyles house to discuss the future baby's situation. Michael is outraged with the demands from the Scotts, but Calvin's size makes Michael think twice before taking any drastic measures. They take the Scotts out for dinner and are left with the bill. Realizing they have a couple of con artists on their hands, Michael and Jay stand up for themselves and set the baby's true needs – which don't include a new house for the Scotts as Calvin wanted.moreless
    • Study Buddy
      Season 5 - Episode 13
      Michael feels neglected because Jay is spending all of her time studying for her psychology final which is the week after! He decides to tutor her, but his efforts cause her to fail. To make it up to her, he tries to bribe her professor to let her re-take the test. Meanwhile, when Kady thinks Franklin prefers her smart friend over her, she tries to act more "brainy."moreless
    • Tee for Too Many
      Season 3 - Episode 23
      Jay decides to spend more quality time with Michael - by watching him play golf. Meanwhile, Jr., who only wants to go to college because Vanessa's going, asks Franklin for help with the application essay and Franklin's advice to Junior was to write down what inspired him.
    • The Bahamas (1)
      The Bahamas (1)
      Season 5 - Episode 16
      When the Kyles arrive at the Atlantis Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for their family vacation, Michael announces that all he wants to do is get some rest and relaxation-by himself. But no sooner does he settle into his lounge chair for some peace and quiet than his talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy, shows up and insists that they spend time together. Michael is relieved to find a way out when Jay invites him to the isolated Magic Island so they can have some romantic fun. As their day winds down and it's time to leave, the boat never shows up to take them back and the couple find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere.moreless
    • Chair Man of the Board
      Season 3 - Episode 12
      Michael's old friend Tommy is coming over and Michael is very excited because he and Tommy used to compete for everything. But his excitement soon turns into awkwardness when Tommy comes in on a wheelchair and Michael doesn't know how to act with the situation. Meanwhile, Claire is caught shoplifting and gets grounded for it. When she confronts Kady about who put the nail polishers in her purse she feels so guilty she confesses to their parents that Claire didn't do it. The punishment? She will no longer be treated like a baby.moreless
    • Jr.'s Cartoon
      Season 5 - Episode 21
      When Jr. wins a national competition for his cartoon entitled "My Wife and Kid" - based on himself, Vanessa, the baby and the rest of the Kyle family - it catches the attention of ABC. Michael becomes Jr.'s agent, but the meeting with the television executives goes badly, crushing Jr.'s dream opportunity, so now Michael has to find a way to rectify the situation. Meanwhile, Claire threatens to break up with Tony unless he can bring some "umph" into their relationship.moreless
    • Empty Nest (2)
      Empty Nest (2)
      Season 4 - Episode 21
      During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.
    • Outbreak Monkey
      Season 4 - Episode 19
      When an ecstatic Michael scores a ticket to see basketball star LeBron James play at Madison Square Garden, his excitement quickly turns to paranoia when, just days before the game, everyone in the Kyle household – except Michael – comes down with the flu. To ensure that he won't miss the game, he goes to absurd extremes to keep from getting sick, including spraying disinfectant on his family and using a ten-foot grabber to hand Jay her orange juice.moreless
    • Illegal Smile
      Season 4 - Episode 18
      The day after an anti-wrinkle injection goes awry for Michael and he ends up with an unnatural expression, he has to fight a traffic ticket in court. The judge is angered by his frozen grin and sentences him to a night in jail, where Michael's cell mate, Big Guy, thinks Michael is coming on to him since he keeps smiling at him.moreless
    • Sharon's Picture
      Season 3 - Episode 22
      Jay gets mad at Michael after finding a photo of an attractive former girlfriend among his things but he throws it away and has a romantic night with Jay in a fancy restaurant. Franklin has trouble admitting that his little sister Aretha is an outstanding singer.
    • The Anniversary Present
      Season 4 - Episode 17
      Michael and Jay try to hide their disappointment when they don't receive the wedding anniversary gifts they are expecting from each other. Meanwhile, with Franklin's help, novice cook Claire hopes to prepare a gourmet dinner for her parents' anniversary present.
    • What Do You Know?
      Season 4 - Episode 28
      The family plays a game which shows them exactly how much they know about each other.
    • Marathon
      Season 4 - Episode 8
      When Jay works hard to get in shape and run a marathon, Michael thinks that, since he's a man, he can run the marathon as well - without any real training. Meanwhile, bible-quoting Tony asks the gorgeous Claire to dress "ugly" so he won't feel so turned on.
    • Hand Model
      Season 4 - Episode 27
      In a twist of fate, Michael is recruited as a hand model during Claire's modelling audition. As he flaunts his newfound fame, he is careful to protect the family's new financial asset – his hands. Meanwhile Franklin feels threatened by Kady's friendship with Rachel, so on Jr.'s advice, he takes matters into his own hands.moreless
    • Graduation Day
      Graduation Day
      Season 5 - Episode 23
      It's Jay's college graduation day and Michael is determined to make it go flawlessly - but everything that could go wrong does, and the day seems destined for disaster. To make matters worse, Jay thinks Michael, who didn't want her to go to college in the first place, is trying to sabotage her special day.moreless
    • Celibacy
      Season 5 - Episode 20
      When Jay tells Michael that their love life will be even better if they are celibate for six months, Michael is willing to abide by her wishes, although reluctantly. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady plant some seeds in the ground to symbolize their growing love for each other, but the seeds grow into an ingredient for a love potion that Jay uses to spice up her romantic dinner for Michael.moreless
    • Ultrasound
      Season 4 - Episode 9
      The Kyles and Vanessa's parents escort her to her first ultrasound. When asked if they wanted to know the baby's sex, Michael is the only one who stands out with a positive answer. Obsessed with knowing whether he's having a grandson or a granddaughter, he tries by all means to have the doctor tell him. Meanwhile, Franklyn freaks out with the idea of losing Kady to "Smilin' Willie" and tries to learn how to be a dance master.moreless
    • Silence Is Golden
      Season 5 - Episode 15
      Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.
    • The Remodel
      Season 5 - Episode 18
      Realizing that the garage is no longer a suitable living situation for Jr., Vanessa and the baby, Jay insists that Michael have it remodeled. When the contractor bids are too expensive for his taste, Michael decides to take on the job himself, with Jr.'s help. But when they get in over their heads, Franklin - who happens to be a certified contractor - has to come to their rescue.moreless
    • Michael's Sandwich
      Season 5 - Episode 22
      Under a time deadline to catch his flight, Michael tries to prepare his signature, masterpiece sandwich to take with him on the plane. But various family distractions delay his getting to the airport, and his beloved sandwich is searched by suspicious security guards.
    • Backout Michael, Bemoaning the Lack of Quality Time the Kyles Spend With Each Other, Decides to Spend Some Time With the Kids,
    • Bahamas Pt.2
      Bahamas Pt.2
      Season 5 - Episode 32
    • Backout
      Season 5 - Episode 33
      Michael decides to spend some time with the kids, whether they like it or not.
    • The Baby Pt.1
      The Baby Pt.1
      Season 5 - Episode 29
    • Childless Class
      Childless Class
      Season 5 - Episode 31
      Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, so Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him babysit his grandchild.
    • The Baby Pt.2
      The Baby Pt.2
      Season 5 - Episode 30
    • Child-Car Class
      Child-Car Class
      Season 5 - Episode 34