Mystery Science Theater 3000

(Wanda climbs down a ladder) Crow: Whoa! That'll make your shamrock shake! Mike: Let me get my shillelagh!

Crow: (seeing a picture of Mambino) Tonight, Sam Giancana sings Pagilacci!

Tom: It's taken kind of a Dickensesque turn, huh? Mike: Really, it's so Dickensesque that it's almost Dickensian.

Wanda: You don't know what outer space is! Mike: Until you've taken Nyquil with Sudafed--wow!

Wanda: Where are we? Gus: Atlantis! Where else? Mike: Can we go to CNN Center? Can I meet Ted Turner? Are the Braves playing?

Gus: (to Wanda) Are you okay? Crow: My boyfriend says I have ugly hair and a weird voice and...oh.

Wanda: (looking up) Please, God... Crow: Mother Teresa, please hold. Kathy's on line one!

Wanda: No one wants me, for anything. Tom: Sports Illustrated on the phone, Kathy!

Mike: (as Robbie points to Wanda's head) See, this should have a brain in it.

(Wanda falls down a ladder) Crow: That's a guy! (cut to Wanda on the floor) Crow: That's not.

(Wanda is looking hot in a bikini) Crow: Wow! She's not wearing glasses!

Wanda: I went to Africa. Crow: With Shaft!

(Both Wanda and Charmin are being strangled) Tom (singing): A double murder's waiting for you...

Crow: (describing Gus) He's from the Orkin army, and something happened.

(someone is carrying a stool on their head) Mike: They're bringing stool samples to the doctor.

(viewing a shot of the city) Crow: Hey, it's the Blue Mosque! Tom: No, the Blue Mosque isn't on a hill. Crow: Have you been to Istanbul? Tom: This isn't even Istanbul! Crow: Good point.

Mike: (describing a skeleton) Kathy! You shouldn't have gone on that diet!

(describing Wanda's Drive-In) Crow: Saks! Tom: Housewares is on one, clothing is on one, administration is on one.