Mystery Science Theater 3000

Crow: It would be ironic if the Tree of Death ever got Dutch elm disease. Tom: Yeah, Stump of Death wouldn't be the same.

Mike: (describing Pete) Long before Peter Billingsley was this guy.

Crow: (describing Sandra) She has more face than she needs.

Dean: I can't go on forever pretending to be a useless drunk. Mike: Fun for a while, but my liver keeps shutting down.

Crow: (as the title of the short appears) I thought I smelled somethin'!

Mike: On his resume', Robert Reed listed this as The Tempest.

Tom: (as the movie's title appears) The story of Wisconsin sausage!

(as the kids climb the rope in the short) Tom: Tonight, on ESPN2, hayloft rope swinging! Mike: You better watch, 'cause it might happen.

Pete: (after Jeannie kisses him) Lemme at 'em! Tom: Damn the torpedoes... please.

Crow: (as Pete and Betty sneak down the hall) Indiana Nerd and the Temple of Dork!

Crow: (as the kids bring the boat ashore) Tonight, 'Love and the Landing at Normandy.'

Mike: (as the captain drinks) Yes, it's the booze barge.

Tom: (seeing pigs at a trough) The lunch counter at Tom and Rosie's diner.

Crow: (seeing pigs in a line) A very special Ziffle family reunion.