Mystery Science Theater 3000

Crow: This is a case where parents should have crushed a child's dream of becoming a filmmaker. Tom: Mmm, right.

Fred: They don't care about us, Annie. They just cut us loose. Mike: In fact, everybody cut footloose.

Tom: (after a dinosaur explodes) I had a woodchuck do this to me once.

Crow: (describing the park victim) He has the lithe, supple body of James Doohan.

Mother Superior: (to Sister Ann) Do you believe in signs? Crow: I believe in 'yield from right'.

Mike: (over a POV shot from the cyborg) The truth about radial keratotomy.

(describing the Runaway) Tom: He's Jean-Claude Van Damme. Mike: Yeah, he's more like Jean-Claude Gosh Darn.

Tom: The movie that delivers more 'huh?'s per second.

Mike: (describing the fight in the chapel) This is a weird PSA for the Catholic church.

Tom: (describing the cyborg master) Rip Taylor as the android.

Tom: (describing the Runaway): He's an apprentice Bryan Brown.

Runaway: Go, go. Crow: Can you hear them, they're talking 'bout us...

Runaway: Come on, go. Mike: Come on and go. Go more. And then drive!

Tom: (as the gang goes in the sewer) Movie sponsored by the Plaid Council. Plaid: It's what's for dinner.

Tom: (over a street shot) The mean streets of Burbank.

Runaway: Fresh tracks. Tom: Oh no, they're a day old. They've been marked down.

Crow: My theory is that the director shot the entire movie without looking at it.

Tom: This isn't a real movie, it's more of a movie loaf. Mike: Yeah, it's made from real movie parts, chunked and formed.

Crow: Just call me Bruce Boxliker.

Runaway: Earth is Heaven. Tom: Thanks to Allestra.

Mike: (as Sister Ann hits the Runaway) Sister Vehicular Homicide.

Crow: An actor prepares... to suck.

Mike: (over a red filter lens) They lit this with a KFC heat lamp.

Mike: (as the Runaway fights the cyborg) Battle of the guys who peaked in high school.

Crow: They're promising entertainment, but I'm not optimistic.