Mystery Science Theater 3000

Marty: (to Harry) What's your name?! Crow: Bob Ovalhead. Harry: Blatz. Harry Blatz. Mike: I brewed a pretty crummy beer, I admit it.

Crow: (describing Michele's dance at the party) When sexy becomes annoying.

(as Michele goes after Critter) Joanie: (to Buz) You sure she's with you? Tom: Yeah, in a way that makes her look like she's with other guys.

Mike: (over a shot of Buz, Leo and Marty) The Mount Rushmore of ugly.

Tom: (as Buz drives through Los Angeles) I think someone slipped us their vacation videos.

Tom: Shouldn't we be in individual booths for this movie?

(as Buz seduces Michele) Crow: He slips off the babushka. Tom: Next comes the wig.

Crow: (describing the second diner scene) Natural Born Cheapskates.

Critter: (to Buz) I'm no threat to your love life. Tom: Get it? I'm G-A-Y!

Mike: (as the car pulls up at the store) Here we are at Drink, Boink, and Regret.

Tom: (seeing the Eat sign) They forgot the 'me'.

Crow: (describing the dancers) H. R. Pufnstuf's Go-Go Girl Review.

Buz: I just forgot I was in someone else's ball park for a moment. Crow: Started playing fungo.

Mike: (during the dune buggy scene) Apparently the story is none of our business.

Crow: (seeing Crtitter's guitar on the truck) El Kabong is stalking them.

Mike: (as Buz enters the diner) Hi, I'm Casey Kasem.

Leo: (to Michele) I want you to dance in Joanie's place. Mike: Chachi won't let her dance anymore.

Critter: The muck's too deep in here. Tom: Well, it's your fault, you're the janitor.

Critter: Finley Jones, alias Critter Jones. Crow: Alias Smith and Jones.

Buz: (to Critter) Any time, Yak Boy. Crow: Thanks, Alpaca Man.

(during the closing movie credits) Tom: Filmed on location at Eat. Mike: And special thank to Eat.

Crow: (describing the bikers) Hell's Pusses.

Song: Everything I touch turns to gold... Crow: What happens when you touch gold? Tom: (as Michele's dad) Everything I touch turns to flies.

Crow: (over a bad edit of Leo at the party) Come to my dimension, it's fun over here.

Crow: (as Michele leaves) I'm going to get a goodbye slap from dad.

Crow (as Buz's car pulls up to the diner) It's a neighbor from the next county asking them to turn down the music.

Michele: Critter? Mike: Where? Oh.

Mike: If you're the town drunk in L.A., you've got problems.

Michele: (to Critter) Aren't you the great one? Mike: Gretzky?