Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike: (over a shot of David's wedding ring) One ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them!

Mike: (during the car chase) This movie's lost its creaminess.

Jody: Guys like Buck and Ron. Crow: Buck and run on three!

Mike: (as David knocks on a door numbered 9) Number nine, we are standing still.

Ron: I see your problem, sir. Crow: And I raise it a predicament.

MIke: (describing Midge) Doris Gump.

Mike: (describing Ron) Payne Stewart, holy man.

Mike: (after Buck humiliates Midge) These guys are about as intimidating as Chad and Jeremy.

Ron: (at the bar) Give us this day our daily dread. Tom: Irie, mon.

Crow: (describing Jody's friends) It's the cast from Bernice Bobs Her Hair.

Crow: (in drunken voice, as David drives back from lunch) Oh, this car handles much easier after three martinis. Look out!

David: You do remember Barney, Barney the slob? Mike: He loves you, you love him?

(David drives Jody to the bus station) Jody: Oh, David, I am really flying. Crow: Yeah, it's good stuff, isn't it?

Jody: Man, how I got this far, I'll never know. Crow: Perhaps it was your pert acting ability!

Jody: Barney stumbled into my room. Tom: Baby Bop too!

Jody: (modeling a new dress) Everything's so creamy! Mike: Don't say that!

David: (to Jody) Last night, when you were running... Tom: Was it sensuous?

Mike: (as David discovers Jody) This, to me, is the very definition of getting lucky.

Mike: (as David goes into the bedroom) We're about to watch a political career come to a screeching halt.

Mike: (as the stuffed animal falls off the bed) Pookie-Nuts is in trouble!

Mike: We can rebuild you, John. You'll be faster, stronger.

Tom: (as Jody snuggles with a teddy bear) Dear Penthouse Forum, I am an average stuffed animal at a small Midwestern college.

Tom: (as Jody first appears) Hey, we have our kitten!