Mystery Science Theater 3000

Season 3 Episode 21

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Aired Unknown Dec 21, 1991 on Comedy Central

Episode Fan Reviews (3)

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out of 10
47 votes
  • No, that's the Children's Television Workshop!


    When the children of Mars become depressed and dismal, there's only one thing to do! From 1964, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, full of "breath taking" special effects, plus horrible acting coupled with a freeze ray gun that's really just a Whamo toy painted silver, and STRANGE serial scenes like this! And if all that's not enough, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians also has a young Pia Zadora in her film debut as Girmar, the girl martian.

    Ay, I've heard of this flick before, but I never seen it because I learned it was awful (I mean Santa Claus getting kidnapped by aliens?), so when I learned it got a spanking by Joel & the Bots, I quickly looked forward to seeing it. End results? Solid. The opening credits had me in stitches (Tom wonders if the title of the movie is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians or Road House), and the crew had fun with the martians and the toy banaza bit. But, for some reason I don't remember a lot of jokes even though I remember laughing smoothly. The best part were the host segments, with memorable skits like the gifts ideas, Crow's gift is Road House The Game, and the Patrick Swayze Christmas song. This is a fan favorite and it's one worth checking out.

  • Christmas is in danger after aliens kidnap Santa. No, really. Aliens kidnap Santa. Well, it beats the Yule Log...

    Santa Claus is preparing for his umpteenth trip around the planet to bestow presents on good and deserving children, when he runs into a little trouble.

    Apparently he is the object of curiosity not only for people on this planet, but also for youngsters elsewhere. Two green Martian kids stake out the North Pole with a giant telescope and determine that jolly old Saint Nick must be brought to their world.

    The story is as incoherent as you'd expect, with bad writing and bad acting to top if off. The costumes and set design are just garish. Joel and the 'Bots riff away, somehow managing to make it all bearable.

    If this is Christmas, bring me New Year's.
  • I haven't seen many episodes of MST3K, but I think this one is definitely the funniest.

    "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is definitely my favorite episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Yes, I like it even more than "Manos."

    Everything is in fine form: Crow is his usual cynical self, the film is as horrible as ever, and the jokes are spot-on and hilarious. Who can forget such classic MST3K lines as "So what's in the pipe, Santa?", "We can still make it to happy hour!", and one of my personal favorites, this exchange between Tom Servo and Crow:
    "So, Crow, what do you want for Christmas?"
    "I wanna decide who lives and who dies!"

    But easily the best part of this episode is the song "A Patrick Swayze Christmas." I can watch this scene innumerable times and still laugh.

    Altogether, this is a classic Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode.
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