Mystery Science Theater 3000

Season 3 Episode 21

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Aired Unknown Dec 21, 1991 on Comedy Central



  • Trivia

    • Crow writes his own Christmas carol 'Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas', convincing Joel and Tom to sing along with him.  After the song is over Joel takes Crow aside to reprimand the bot for his rather gruff song.

    • During the entire episode, Crow has a red nose a la Rudolph and Tom's dome is a snow globe.

    • In the opening credits of SCCM, they misspell costume and say "custume design". Crow points this out.

  • Quotes

    • Kimar: Something is wrong with our children.
      Tom Servo: On Saturn 3.
      Kimar: They eat not. They sleep not.
      Crow: They are not.
      Kimar: Their only interest is watching meaningless Earth programs on the video.
      Joel: (as Chochem) Are there any other kind! Haha, but I digress.
      Chochem: What time of year is it now?
      Kimar: It is the middle of Septober.
      Tom Servo: Oh, time for Septoberfest!

    • Kimar: Voldar will be back.
      Tom: In Dial M For Martian.

    • News Announcer: Here is another UFO bulletin...
      Joel: I'm high!

    • (a shot of New York is seen)
      Kimar: We're over a city of some kind.
      Joel: The Big Apple.
      Tom: Des Moines? Oh.

    • Santa: Let's close up shop!
      Joel: We could still make it to Happy Hour!

    • Santa: Look at me. Santa Claus, the great toymaker...
      Tom: Stuck on a planet with no booze.

    • Kimar: We have another Earth person who would like to see you.
      (Santa enters the room)
      Joel: His name is B.F. Skinner. He's going to put you kids in a box.

    • Voldar: All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit.
      Tom: Truman Capote?

    • Voldar: What is a Christmas?
      Joel: Its a Christian holiday ruined by commercialism?

    • Kimar: They sit in front of the video set all day watching those ridiculous Earth programs. It confuses them!
      Tom: Especially Twin Peaks.

    • (as a Martian uses freeze gun on an elf)
      Tom: Stopped him short.

    • Crow: Ahh, Mr. Claus. You have a nasty habit of surviving...

    • Andy: I'm up at the North Pole! From here there's only one direction you can go.
      Crow: To hell!

  • Notes

    • This episode is on the special TV DVD 'Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Essentials,' along with Manos: The Hands of Fate.

  • Allusions

    • Tom: Go play with your Golden Globe award...that we bought for you.

      This joke line said by Tom(as Momar to Girmar) is a reference to the 1982 Golden Globe that Pia Zadora, who played Girmar, won for "New Star of the Year in a Motion Picture" for Butterfly. There is a great deal of controversy concerning this win: firstly, it was not Pia Zadora's first movie(this film was made 18 years earlier); Secondly, it is argued that the award was "bought" for her. Zadora's husband at the time, Meshulam Riklis, gave an expensive party and luncheon to voting members before they had voted; Thirdly, the movie was not technically released in time for Zadora to be eligible that year.

      All of this may not have been as much of a problem, if she had produced a good performance. However, the performance gained Ms. Zadora the 1982 Razzie Award for "Worst Actress". These types of reviews combined with the genuine talent she "beat", such as Kathleen Turner for Body Heat, have led it to be generally accepted that it was not a fair competition.

    • Rosebud:
      When we see a very cheesy circular image of the North Pole with snow falling, Tom, Crow, and Joel croak out "Rosebud...Rosebud..." as a reference to Charles Foster Kane's last words (and sled!) in the classic movie Citizen Kane.