Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 10 Episode 11

Crow: (describing Alma) Kevin McHale, crossdresser.

Geri: I'm sorry.
Alma: It's all raht(right).
Mike: It is all raht(rot) in this movie.

(Geri looks at Mick's worm bite)
Geri: I never saw one bite like that.
Roger: I did.
Tom: Hoh, boy, here we go.

Crow: (describing Roger) If Steve Young and Alvin the Chipmunk had a baby.

Crow: (at the end of the short) Jam Handy reminds you to keep your preserves in a convenient place.

Tom: (over an interior shot of the house in messy state) Never ask Tom Arnold to housesit.

(over a closeup of Mick)
Crow: There's a lot of Elton John in that face.
Mike: Wow, most faces can't take much.

Mike: Why does it not surprise me that he has weak ankles?

Crow: (over a shot looking up at people) Cinematography by Seymore Butts.

Crow: (as the sheriff's girlfriend, as they lay in the bed in the jail cell) Are we just going to have afterglow or are we going to have sex?

Crow: (describing Mick) He looks like sentient artery plaque.

Mike: (over a shot of worms) Come on men, make everything loamy!

Alma: Mama, don't scare me.
Tom: I spent my life scaring you, child. It's my job.

Roger: (to Mick) You gon' be th' worm face!
Mike: No, you're gonna be the worm face!

(Mick and Geri talk about the skull)
Geri: That thing can bring $100 dollars at an auction! He was talking about going into the business...oh, Mick!
Tom: The business of selling human bones at auctions?
Mike: Wow, this is the South.
Tom: I guess.
Geri: Then who...
Crow: Is paler than me?
Mick: The worms.
Tom: 'A certain convocation of politic worms!'

Crow: (to Mick) Hey, Richie Cunningham, tuck your shirt in.

Mick: Roger?
Crow: Mr. Beardsley?
Mick: Roger?
Mike: Can you tell me where Mr. Beardsley is?

(Mick and Geri leave her house)
Mike: Mr. Beardsley!
Tom: (as Geri) Oh, shut up!

Crow: So, how is it possible that Jerry Reed isn't in this movie?
Tom: I don't know.
Mike: It's freakish.

Roger: I've been thinkin'.
Mike: Okay, I mean stinkin'.

Tom: (as Mick gets the skull out of the truck) First there was pilt down man, then Southern Man!!!

Crow: (as Mick looks unsure) Save the girl or go antiquing? Hmmm... Antiques, here I come!

Crow: (as a container of worms is shown) Lowly Worm's Worst Day Ever.

Mick: You see Roger around?
Crow: Let's ask Mr. Beardsley. Mr. Beardsley!!

Mike: (describing Geri's car) The Ford station wagon: unsmall at any speed.

Sherrif: (to Mick) What business you have in Fly Creek?
Crow: I wonder what be so fly about that creek?

Mike: (as Mick wanders through the swamp) He's actually lost in the wooly swamp.

Crow: Most bizarre freak of nature ever recorded... oh, broccoflower.

Naomi: The sink is acting up.
Mike: It's sassing me back.

Tom: Board to Fly Creek: Drop Dead!

On screen: This is the story...
Mike: Of a man named Jed.
Tom: Jeeeeeeeeddd!!!!

Crow: Look, God has a spring!

Mike: (describing the golf course in the short) Welcome to Divot Hills.

(after the springs have been restored)
Crow : (as Jimmy Stewart) Merry Christmas, you wonderful old couch!

Mike: (after all the spings are gone) Well, I still won't have to fix the couch, so eat me.

(describing Gilbert, the man in the short)
Crow: Can't decide between short sleeves or long? Split the difference!
Mike: Well, it's not as bad as the time I said 'No muscle tone.' Never recovered from that.

Tom: (in the short, as the golfers have their backs to the camera) More grey asses!

Tom: (describing the car in the short) The 1941 Dull Grey Mobile.

Crow: Where does Coily fit into God's plan for us?

Tom: (as the title of the short appears) Me, I'd rather have a case of Bass Ale.

(during the SOL safety check)
Mike: Ready?
Crow: Roger.
Tom: Ramjet.

(Geri and Mick arrive at Mr. Beardsley's)
Geri: Mr. Beardsley!
Mike: Your victims are here!
Geri: Mr. Beardsley!
(Tom imitates a rifle shot)
Geri: Well, where is he?
Crow: It's almost like he's not here or something.
Geri: Mr. Beardsley!!
Mike: I'm only going to call you like 50 more times!

Geri: The worms attacked Roger!
Tom: Well, he's got a layer of topsoil, honey, you can't blame them.

Tom: (as Mick finds Willie's body) Stop having worms in your body, you idiot!

Tom: (as Geri, to Roger) Ah'm charmed by yur' creepiness.

Roger: I'm ready to tell Dad I don't wanna take over no worm farm.
Tom: It's so sad how many small family worm farms are being taken over by corporate worm farms.

Mike: (as Geri) I'm used to the rats, silverfish, and cockroaches, but this!

Gilbert: Hey, Joe, wake up!
Crow: It's Coily's army of darkness! Look!

Crow: Well, Billie Joe McAllister jumped off the Talahachee Bridge again.

Crow: (as Alma carries a candle) These candles made from dad burn real good.

(as Roger throws the plywood on Mick)
Crow: Death by particle board.
Mike: You're a stupidhead!

Mike: (after he nukes the worms) Crow, we need a dipping sauce.

(Mick goes through the dentist's files)
Tom: Let's see, John Birch Society literature...
Crow: Insurance fraud, 1970-'75...
Tom :'76-'80 there...
Crow: Letters from Der Wiesse Engel...
Mike: Klan minutes-1972...

Tom: (after Geri speaks) Come on, no ones's that southern. Tone it down.

Crow: (describing Geri) A pencil with hair! Oh, oh, no, it's her.
(a bit later) A badly dressed swizzle stick! Oh, no, it's her.